I always read poems at least twice to get the full effect of the words, and I must say that you wrote a wonderful piece here. When I first read it, I could see how you developed the emotion and the story behind it all. The second time through I was looking at your technique, and I love the rhyming scheme you used. It's just enough to keep it in the rhyming part of poetry, but it also makes the reader think of where the rhyming is happening.

The topics in your poems aren't really down my alley, but you are a wonderful writer and I can tell you'll continue to grow. Keep on writing! :)

I don't know what to say. Its wonderful!

Okay, first of all, you should just delete all the "reviews" by that one anonymous idiot. He's just a troll. And he's a coward, because he posts under an anonymous name instead of actually logging in with an account. Also, it's hilarious to me how he tries to insult you and your writing, but he can't even capitalize or use punctuation. He's probably just a stupid kid, and I would love to verbally rip him apart...if he had the courage to log in, that is. I could run circles around him.

As for your poems...I did like "Dark Mind" and "Sweets." But your other poems are lacking something. They seem to be a collection of kind of random thoughts, and somehow they just don't seem like poetry. Try to use more visual words. What I mean is try to write your poems so that the reader actually feels or visualizes what you're saying. Don't just say something like you would with regular writing. A poem should either use the sound of the words themselves, or use a lot of visuals to get the reader's attention and make them feel something. You did that pretty well with "Dark Mind" and "Sweets" but your other poems just seemed like lines of regular writing.

Please don't be offended. I think you do have good writing skills - your vocabulary and grammar is great, and I do see that you have the potential to be creative. But you just need more practice. Also, try reading other poems to get some inspiration and to learn more about poetry writing.

Also don't listen to that other guy. I think its rather clear whoever they are, they are the one begging for the attention. Also if they are so stupid they think that "where i sliced their throat" makes sense their the ones that need to learn more english!

My god this is amazing! You truly have a gift. I can not only feel a slight connection but I can feel the rage and insanity. Thank you for these brilliant poems. I have but one question. What kind of poem is this?

I enjoyed all these poems you've written. I think I liked Karma the most, because it truly echoes the reality of people putting someone down, eventually it will come back to haunt them.

Very nice :)