|Reviews for Tension|
| YourSecretAdmirer 2/6/13 . chapter 1
I love this!
| ThinkPi 2/3/13 . chapter 1
I like your word choice. I do find this poem all over the place in thought though. In my own opinion (which is not worth more than any other writer's) I believe poetry can be used to compact an entire story into a few verses. That being said I feel all the cutoffs with ellipses take away from the poem more than they do. I assume they are being used to denote a sense of speechlessness or helplessness, correct? If you can string those feelings together with a few more lines you can really run deep into the emotions of the speaker. Elaborating on how it feels to give in or give up resisting through metaphors and imagery will support the feeling. I think you can afford to describe the scenario with the blank pages some more as well.
Overall I think this poem has potential. Try not to abuse the ellipses or the desired effect won't make as much of an impact. With more depth in the first line, fifth and sixth line this poem will really tackle the idea of tension in the context of love.
| Guest 1/27/13 . chapter 1
I felt like this earlier today, actually. Good job!