|Reviews for What?|
| Inuko93 4/11/13 . chapter 1
Okay, First off I will say that it is an interesting scenario that can surely bring about a lot of drama. However, it's a little hard to see this scenario being played out by seventh graders. If I hadn't known they were seventh graders in the script then I probably would've thought they were 16-17ish. I think the characters themselves and how you wrote them seemed older than 12 year olds. They seemed much too mature about Molly's predicament than I think twelve year olds would be if put in that situation. However, that's just my opinion based on the experiences of how mature girls were about that kind of problem when I was in 7th grade.
My second suggestion would be to try to put more character actions into the play. I know you have some, like them getting up and walking away once or twice, but It would be cool to see some stage directions that give some characterization to the characters. For example, it would be cool if before Molly even started talking you have the other girls chatting away happily and have a stage direction that perhaps showing molly quiet and biting her fingernails to show the audience her apprehension about telling her friends her dirty little secret.
On a final note I just want to add that when writing a play you don't need the quotation marks around the dialogue. It's not a major issue to me that they're there, it's just not necessary. Overall it's an interesting piece, it just needs a bit of fine tuning. I promise that I'm not trying to be a terrible person and say that it's terrible. I'm just a fellow writer trying to help other's with their writing as well. I'm by no means an expert or anything. c:
| MatthewS.D. hula hoop 3/3/13 . chapter 1
that's great and really really funny favourite story tick
| emily098 2/10/13 . chapter 1
Wow 7th grade upside down and why am i like leadet?
| Felrain 2/7/13 . chapter 1
It seems like it would have fit together better if they had been maybe 3 years older. But otherwise