this is really interesting. i haven't read something like this before. i hope you update again soon!

I am incredibly interested. This is a common genre but you've managed to put a new twist on it. Good work! I didn't see any mistakes in grammar or punctation, so I won't feel like a grammar nazi. And, it was mysterious enough to keep me reading, so you should feel accomplished. Thanks for the new story :)

Cool, I cant wait to see how this play's out.

I like this. You've set up an interesting beginning that poses a lot of questions and it makes me curious to see where it goes. It also reminds me of .hack. Was that your inspiration?