Interesting.. Quite a different style than Vespers, variety is a good thing.

Bad: that there was very little action in this chapter... But!

Good: That lack of action with such a short chapter makes the readers want to just flip straight into the next chapter. Also having the "inner" voice narrative keeps the chapter from going dry.

Can't wait to see how things will turn out with Sarah.

Very good so far. Keep writing this one.