Hi,

Sorry to disagree with the last reviewer. The American Revolution started on the Lexington Battle green, in Massachusetts, April 19, 1775. The war was mostly in the northeast the first year or two, the mid-Atlantic in the middle and ended in the south. It ended at Yorktown, Virginia October 19, 1781 with the British surrender. Check Wikipedia for details.

Your writing style and story line are fine. You have left plenty of opportunities for various directions of the story line. Good job.

John

A very intriguing look to how it was back in the late 1700s. However you chose the wrong date if you are writing about the American Revolution. The American Revolution ended after 1776 and you chose to write two years afterward, which makes the events in your story be out of place. You can change the date to 1775 and that would make it appeal better to the war going on currently in the telling.

Disregarding that, I find that this is a very interesting story. I'd like to see if Maria falls in love with this Redcoat or not. :) Continue to write and never give up. :D I know you wanted feedback on this first story and I hope that what I have said helps :D Ciao!

I enjoyed reading this. It seems a good way to me to start out a longer story. You have quite an interesting conflict established here, quite some bits and pieces to make a reader curious to what will come and how things are going to develop from here. And you have some believable characters here. Maria seems quite a practical, sensible and also quite independent kind of girl, who doesn't seem at all like the sentimental and helpless romance-heroine that can so often be found. And then Benjamin, we don't know much about him yet, but I appreciate that you apparently did not make him the typical oh-so-handsome love-interest boy. So if you want to continue this story, then go for it, I do think that is has potential :-)

This is really good! You are a very good writer! :) I hope you put some more up.