i really like this please continue :)

this story is is well done. keep up the good work and writing.

short and sweet- i luv it o - please read and reveiw my stories too- 1) Caducus, and (2) Drowning in My Tears- i'm just ur average odd-ball with a trigger in behin- alright i'm offically bored- luv & let be

Very good you are very descriptive and your plot rocks! If you want check out my story The Legend of the Diamonds, it is also a fantasy story.

write some more it's getting good! _

Hey if anyone reads this, TLP has being updated and is now under the same name and the aurthoris still the same person. (that's me!) But is under the name of Lady_Amethyst. I also have two more stories but they are not up yet but I hope to have them done soon. thank you. Lady_Amethyst

I love your story please continue! it's been a loonngg time since you've posted a new one please let me know when your going to have another chanpter up.

Ah, there is very little scene description in this piece. Maybe you should first present the antagonist's view of why they are doing this by having a pre-scene. I think the plot has to be fleshed out a bit. There is no intro to the world these people live in. The paragraphs are seperated at the right places and have good intro sentences. Some of your dialouge is clunky, and characters have their dialouge stuck together in places. Style: 3. Content: 3. Grammer: 4.

You amaze me sometimes. Good story so far! Keep up the great work.

Bad spelling, grammer, and paragraph structure (though maybe that last's your computer's fualt.) Aside from that, pretty good. Aw, Zycon doesn't seem THAT bad.

Hi there :) Great story! You did a very good job on it, keep it up...oh, and if I wouldn't be too much trouble, come and read my new story:The Elements...:)...no one has yet...thanx ;)

PS: Please review...I'd like to know what you think...Bye