it got confusing when there was over five lines where we were unsure of the speaker. the writing style came off as careless and slightly confusing. oh yeah-- italicize your quote marks so they show up on the site.

I really liked this story, the images it brought into my mind were great.
I liked how you used that "mage in moonlight" and "warrior in sunlight" idea.
Very nice work, I really enjoyed this story.