My only problem with this would be the phrasing; I'm not sure I like the set-up of 1-3 words per line. I think you need to make it make a little more sense.

That said, this poem was truly beautiful. I could see everything in my mind's eye, and the emotions were strong and clear. I particularly love the repetition of "I'm a far cry from heaven now/and a long road from home". Beautiful.