doo itashimashite :) this is really cool in the way that the imagery provokes emotions rather than necessarily a storyline. that's rare, since so many people feel the need to write cutesy rhyming lines. my suggestion: the first line is a little awkward; I don't know if it's the vs. or the odd emphasis on sylabbles... maybe think of another word to substitute for "vs"? anyway, this is really good.

Aw, I like it :)
slainte (on the 3 going on 4 posts in a night too!! :P :D)
Cya

wow. this is good.