 Weeba 2005-06-23 . chapter 1You've handled the rather conventional concept of the holiday extremely well, telling your own story from your own experience so that it doesn't sound trite or copied. Great job with that. My only negative comment is that I think you may have overused the word "star". I understand it's hard *not* to in this poem, but I think you could take out a couple of the instances. See what you can do.
Keep writing!
~Weeba~ |