It was powerful, but a bit hard to read. I couldn't figure out who you were talking about have the time. It needs a bit of work, but is, at its base, a great idea.

wow. that was powerful. probably considering I was expecting it to be a happy fluffy fic. and if you ask me how I even thought that, given the title, I'd tell you I wouldn't know and quickly walk away to escape the mocking laughter. But that was amazing! Fabulously written, too. Well done!

*drags himself be his lips to the computer, having had less than five hours of sleep the previous night*

I, uh... oh crap. Now I forgot what I was going to say. It was probably good; I can't rightly remember... *points to his opening line*

In any case, I'll finish the rest of this message as an advertisemnt.

Tired of dull, flakey hair? So was I, but then someone told me about Head and Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo. Now, I have a luxurious head of full, shiny hair, and my self confidence has gone through the roof! Thank you, Hewad and Shoulders. If it wasn't for you, I'd probably _still_ be living in that box next to the dumpster where I first happened across that nearly empty bottle of your delightful shampoo, but thanks to you, I'm the head of a multi-national, multi-billion dollar corporation!

Is this it? It's a nice angst piece, and the end is more than a little reminiscent of Surviving the Game. Are you going to continue it?