oh man. This is one of those descriptive pieces of prose. I could never get into these things. I wish I could be more engaged in what you're trying to say, but I guess I'm just an unengaging person.

Is this story true? You must have been little when u went there. Since then u became like the evil "mess wit me and die" queen of evil... did that make sense? I didn't think so.

hehe...it's really! Good...umm to tell you the truth I don't know what you should write the make it better because I'm not writer. :P But it really gives you a picture of the place you're in. I really liked this one!

Oooh Sam, this is pretty! I can almost see it...
*imagines self farrr away* (I'm in Keyboarding at the moment...booorrredd...want to be someplace not here! lol) pretty pretty pretty story