This story was awesome!!

For the whole critic thing, the ending was too abrupt and he seemed to believe everything too well, and everything moved way too quickly... The whole teacher, Liam turn "bad" needed more explanation, but I still loved it!!

I have to second a previous reviewer’s reaction to what you have so far written about Sweden. Sweden is a quite unreligious country where school and church have pretty much nothing to do with each other, plus Sweden is not a country that has much to do with the Catholic Church. I have lived there in my entire life and have only met one person who was of the catholic faith and I don't know of the existence of any chapels in any of the cities I have lived in.
I have only read the first two chapters and the story shows potential to be quite good, but these inaccuracies really distracts from the story for me.

It was a pretty good premise. However, the last 3 chapters seemed rather rushed. You never really gave a sense of who the bad guy(well girl) was, and why she wanted to destroy the world. I think Sebastian's character could have been developed a little bit more. It wasn't very clear why Sebastian dictated that Gavin stays and nobody could contradict him.
For a short story though, it was pretty interesting. A new take on the whole apocalypse. Very creative.

The character development of Sebastian is awesome, but other than that, you seriously could have done much better. So, not complete **, but not great either... great, now I don't know how I feel about it. =/

well...that was a very good story! the plot line was awesome and i just loved the sarcasm in the way you write it made me laugh and really described seb. you also have great taste in rock music :D go underOATH!
but i think it was just a bit too fast in the way you wrote it, you could have added so much more detail to the story and also with Seb and Daerin, you could have given a hint that they were gonna get together cause they sorta just kissed and...lived happily ever after?
but i loved it all the same! i loved Mink specially! i can't wait to read more of your stories!

I loved the story, the plot line was very interesting...but it seemed so fast! (not your updating...definitely not that). It just seemed rushed is all. There could have been so much more, but I loved it nonetheless.

The story lacks depth. There's no reader connection to any of the characters. I can't feel for them. This is possibly also becase the time frame was far too fast! How could you hope to fill out the details of what looks like a potentially rich world in such a short time frame?

And deus ex machina? Doesn't make for a terrific ending it's got to be said. It's cliche, boring and lets the story down.

Just to prove that I'm not some anonymous jackass taking this down for my own amusement I've left my email address. If you want any help at all then there it is.

picaro x

It's a cute story with a great idea (reminds me of Edana's works on fictionpress - who by the way is an amazing author. You should check out her stories). I just think the relationship between Daerin and Seb developed rather abruptly.

Also, you should check out Dark Illustrations: Sketches in Blood by Xandra. It's incomplete, but is very wellwritten, original, interesting, etc. etc.

I hope you write more stories soon :)

** awesome, please write more

OMIGOD!! you have no idea how long ive been waiting for this story to be updated!

so good... plz post soon @.@

Argh, I feel like some sort of stalker by reviewing all of your stories or something >.>. But I really like this one! It's exciting, and I feel bad for Sebby. Other than having the contents of his stomach being spilled all over the gym floor, I just can't help but feel bad for the poor guy. Anyways, can't wait to read the next chapter ^^.

I take it this means Sebastian is dead?

I...gr...Update!

How could you give such an evil evil cliffhanger? I'm reading this at 3 am in the morning and I don't get the satisfaction of a definite conclusion. Pooh. Update please :)