o...i like it. a LOT. you do royal well. and i realy do like the characters. stephen's so cute :D and erich is really cool. it seems like they should be cliche but they aren't for some reason (i hope that doesn't sound too rude). i can't wait to see how it goes...

Ohh, I wonder what's up the Queen's sleeve. I really wish you would update this story. It has a wonderful start.

Hmm-mm~

Not sure what to think. I did kind of guess it would be him ^_^ Well, I'm very interested in this story. I dunno if it's good or bad (I certainly don't want to offend you or anything by syaing it) but I've seen some similarities to a story of mine. Not a whole lot, but they're definitely there.

So, I am going to put you on author alert. I hope you update soon!

~Chippie

So far so good. I really like the imagery you use. And it's so sad! I like Erich, he already seems like a good character. Really determined.

Saa, next chap...

~Chippie

Aw... adorable. ;-) I want more!

interesting... a lot of your stories are very, very interesting but i've noticed you haven't updated in about two years. T_T

ooh, wirte more! I am terribly intrigued, and I want to know more... *thumbs* up*

Wonderful imagery in the first paragraph. It made me want to read more, and it pulled me in. I kid you not. Wonderful, wonderful. ^_^

Please try to avoid mixing "archaic-ish" (for lack of a better word) with more normal, or modern, expressions. (e.g. "scheming wench")

"smoke green eyes" - I love the imagery, but I'd use a hyphen here, it looks a little awkward otherwise. (e.g. "smoke-green"). Alternatively, you could say "smoky-green". I like the first alternative better.

Again, I'd use a hyphen when describing his mother's "emerald-green eyes". It just flows more smoothly when reading it.

"...certainly no less beautiful or angelic, but it's otherworldly quality diminished to a young man..." Watch the possessive form here! The possessive form of "it" would be "its". "It's" is a contraction for "it is".

Hehe, I realized who Stephen was on the paragraph before the one where it was explained.

These notes were made as I read the story, I apologize if they don't yield anything conclusive, but I tried. Overall, I love the imagery, it blows me away every time. I only found one instance where you overdo it: Describing Stephen. His perfection is a little overemphasized - you know? But that's just me. Maybe it's because something sinister is brewing in the future...

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story. Keep up the good work!

-Bakadesu

Yay! So when are you going to post more on this? It seems interesting and I would love another chapter soon!

Marvelous! Marvelous! I see I'm going to have to put you on my Author Alert list. What do I have to do to get you to write *faster*?

This is so wonderful!! *hugs a plushie of the limping scholar* Please continue it!

Why does Stephen have a cane? I'm sure you will explain later ^_~ Great story. I feel bad for Erich having to put on that brave front around others. Continue soon!

YAY! I saw this on your sight and read it and really liked it. I'm glad you're posting it here!