 noche 2006-01-05 . chapter 1Are you going to finish this? Or is is complete already? It feels more like a cliffhanger than an end to a story. It doesn't feel complete.
Then again... This was in 2002. But it would be great if you wrote more of it. |
 carmice3 2004-02-03 . chapter 1Very subtle. I can't tell if the rebels won or not, but I think your point is that every one has lost; as their minds are reprogrammed to make them efficient, and as a side effect they have lost their uniqueness.
I do like it. |
 Tiffany Kremer 2002-02-26 . chapter 1You have really good dialogue, you also describe them pretty well too. My only criticism is to describe the setting a bit, put the dialogue and your characters someplace. But other than that, it's a good peice of writing. |
 Strider Hunter 2002-02-25 . chapter 1Interesting beginning....not as zany as your other stories. Good amount of sci-fi so far, we'll have to wait for the horror element to kick in. |