FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| arizona 2002-11-03 ch 1, anon. | abusepaleeeaaaz! add another chapter! i really want to know what happens in the story! i really like it:) one thing i might mention, in later chapters add more background info on the characters and on how this system of "fighting game that decides their futures" one thing that would be really cool is make there be bad guys that want Lana, and the other girls and captures them (add some small parts where they abuse the girls in some way to make it interesting) so the guys have to save them. just a suggestion, you don't have to take it if you have other ideas. im sure that i'll like whatever you write:) |
| Volatile 2002-03-20 ch 1,  | abuseThere's a serious shortage of truly good writing on the 'originals' portion of this site - your story is one of few things I've read here and really enjoyed, so hurry up and write some more! xoxo |