I've read this one before, not on here but somewhere else on your own site probably, and I still can't believe how it makes my stomach turn. Maybe it is because I know who you are writing about, and it makes it all that much more real (even though thank the stars it didn't happen).
I agree with Stormer, you've advanced much in writing since this. But still, even though it is unpolished, it has a rawness that makes my skin crawl.

Very powerful writing Kelly, but I think your writing has improved (at least grammatically) since this. That doesn't I still don't love this or get strongly affected by it. I just think you could maybe do a little edit, polish, and make it that much better :)

woah. Sad short story. But very well written though. Good work be proud of yourself

...
...Wow. Horrifying, gut-wrenchinng, and brilliantly done. Your descriptions are so clear that it was like I was sucked into the scene, watching it all happen firsthand. I really felt Lena's shock and horror. Very sad, and I certainly hope that this was 100% fiction!

:((( so sad big sister!!!!!!!!
but very good-drawn :D
another masterpiece