wonderful!

Very nice. A few times there I found your language verging on the clichéd, such as "large, tragic dark eyes", etc. Very unusual and quite evocative, but sometimes I found the language becoming too forced, not precise enough. Tightening of the story and particularly more evaluation of their necessity would make the story purer in form and emotion. It might have been better if it could be better understood exactly what Erith was trying to do with the humans limbs? Perhaps I am just daft though. The whole description of Lurissa could be streamlined and pulled together. I found the simile "The silver blood on them was as bright as molten metal" a bit redundant because it would make perfect sense to me that silver blood would look exactly like molten metal because, by calling it silver, you have already conjured up the image of metal. The clor names were lovely, I wish I could see a color calles "embiron" or "ambasilon". I'm afraid my thoughts were rather woolgathering...Generally, very nice story and really gave a sense of setting and power. I shall now go on to read your next 10,0 stories...Caremel

I can see that reading all of your work will be time-consuming yet enjoyable-I decided to start at the beginning. Firstly, let me say that Elwens are a refreshing change from the perfect idealized fantasy races which I frequently encounter. Despite their somewhat glorious obsession with beauty, I derive the impression that Elwens are flawed and even dare I say-human, in many ways. You've accomplished an interesting feat in creating two characters which I cannot call "good" or "bad" with any sense of certainty. Erith is the protagonist, yes, but he exhibits a sense of malicious cruelty in his dealing with the humans. While perhaps some of this is warranted (as I am of the impression that the humans have been none-too-kind to the Elwen people), I can't help but believe that his behaviour is rather gratuitous.
Lurissa's choice to defend the humans is noble, however, her character falls short in my eyes because her decision to hire a mercenary makes her seem weak and dependant. Not that it's bad of you to write characters who seem flawed to me-actually, writing "gray" characters is an impressive feat, one for which I commend you. And also-was Lurissa really defending the humans-or just picking a fight with Erith? And do I sense the "loved so much she/he would kill them" Lady/Tiger syndrome at work here?
As usual, I have a few nits. But that's to be expected with any story. One nit is the lack of description in some areas. I feel that I had only a passing idea of what Erith and Lurissa looked like. Another nit is the hate/love transition between Surl and Erith-it seemed a bit rushed. (By the way, is there any 'intimate' feelings at work here? Perhaps I've been reading too many yaoi *male/male* fics, but it certainly seemed that Erith and Surl had quite a relationship going) Also, you didn't seem to describe Erith's background much-but perhaps this is concluded in your two sequels. I shall see momentarily. All in all, I found this very interesting. So far I do not have a favourite character, but that's because I respect them all equally for their aptitudes and flaws.
Marvelous writing. Look forward to finishing it.

That. Was absolutely gorgeous. You create such beauty in your writings... I look forward to you being published, so that I can relish in words such as these once more.
Keep writing.

*claps* Oh... very nice.
"And drinking it," said Erith helpfully.
He's a piece of work, aint he?

Hm...that was interesting. I'm a little confused, but I suppose that's to be expected. I like Erith - many dimensions. Lurissa I didn't like so much, and I'm confused why she wanted the village poisoned - it doesn't seem to chime with her words to Erith. Surl was...strange, but interesting, to be certain.

:),

Elemmire

PS - BTW, I've wandered over here from your profile.

This was really good. The twist at the end was well done, and I'm sure the relationships-all of them-are fascinating.

I really love your choice of words, and how the background of their world and extra info are shed so naturally within the context of their conversation and the stories passages without making them sound so forced. I do not mind the degree of Erith and Surl's relationship, though how they come to have that relationship was rather twisted and abrupt for me (they were killing each other before) - but your way of writing make it sound so plausible and makes it okay, if not marvelously so. _

You have written so much already and I decided to dedicate some of my time to read your work (starting with this first one out of a very long list of.. 130?) from now one. ) A helpful reviewer I certainly am not and I don't think I can help you make your stories any better than they already are. I just want to say that you're a talented author, and you've just given me a great chance to enjoy a great work full of amazing creativity and writing. (Oh, and I'm so glad this is free!)

Light and love - kijochan

Lar that was good! Talk about intense emotion too. I like the statement made about humans not even having the decency to smell good when they burn. It struck me as funny, though I don't suppose I should find anything funny about the burning of my own race.

You are a very good writer.

I really, really like this. Very interesting story. It was a tad confusing at the beginning, the opening line had me lost, but then I figured it out and it really picked up. The only thing I would've really changed would be explaining the Elwens in the story, instead of as a side note. That put aside, this was a truly lovely story. Are you going to continue the saga, or is it a one-shot? You're a very talented writer, and I look foward to seeing whatever else you come up with. _ I'm off to go look at your other fics now...

Thank you, Maevyn, for the kind words... I'll try to offer some short answers to your questions.

Yes, the viaquia are another race of Elwens, a group within the Elwen species. They are related to land Elwens, but distantly. And yes, Erith and Lurissa have an extremely twisted relationship :).

Granted, Elwens live a long time and have extremely strong emotions, but I suspect their relationship would be seen as twisted even by other Elwens.

The Lady is Eleriad Deerfriend, the war-leader of the land Elwens against the humans.

I haven't writtne another story about Erith, Surl, and Lurissa yet simply because I don't really know yet what happens next. We'll see.

this is totally cool in a strange and twisted kind of manner...kind of disturbing-but, hey, i like it that way (call me queer but i really do).

so...are the viaquia Elwens or are they something else? i'm sort of lost on that-perhaps another group within the race of Elwens? what's the deal between Erith and Lurissa? are they having some sort of love-hate relationship-the more they love each other, the more they want to kill each other? who is the Lady?

it's an out-of-this-world story...too bad it's a designated short story. are there going to be more short stories about Erith, Lurissa, and Surl? what happens next? do they finally confront one another? DO YOU THINK THESE ARE ENOUGH QUESTIONS FOR YOU? i'm sorry-i just get overly excited over finding awesome stories! ;o) i know you'll keep on writing, but i hope you continue to post them up.