   writer0000001 2003-03-06 . chapter 4So sad with Asha's mother.but it had a happy ending so i'm happy. i like happy endings. anyway, this was a great story although the punctuation could've been better, but it was still wonderful. |
| writer0000001 2003-03-06 . chapter 3 NO! they're captured! anyway, great story |
| writer0000001 2003-03-06 . chapter 2 interesting chapter. so they're all together now. |
| writer0000001 2003-03-06 . chapter 1 Well written and very interesting so far. why would she accept it even though she doesn't want to? if she leaves, there isn't that much of a chance of her coming back so why does a change in status mean so much to her? just some random thoughts. |
 Gema J. Gall 2003-01-03 . chapter 4This is an AWESOME story! I love it!!! You could elborate a little more on some of the details, but the plot is killer! |
| Gema J. Gall 2002-12-21 . chapter 1 Seriously Awesome Beginning! Can't wait to read the rest!! Great job! |
 Juvenile Jen 2002-07-29 . chapter 4Very fast-moving. This has a really great plot, but I think you should re-write it to give the characters a better chance to fully develop, with more scenes like the one by the campfire. The whole story seems to rush by, and more detail would help it make a bigger impact on the reader. The climax is very powerful and dramatic, and I think it should be more drawn out, and more descriptive. |
 Alyissa 2002-07-23 . chapter 4I like the plot line of this but you need more detail. This could be greatly improved if you spent more time building up to the climax and developing the charectors. |
 anonymous 2002-05-26 . chapter 4 kind of disjointed; hard to understand at times, but it was a quick, fun read |
| Zaren 2002-05-19 . chapter 2 your Idea is good but i think that the very beginning was rushed in a way. I think that you should try to make it a bit longer before you meet everyone and make it more descriptive. |
 neale 2002-05-19 . chapter 2great story! plz post the next chapters soon!! |
| Alyissa 2002-05-19 . chapter 2 The plot line is awesome but you need more detail. The charectors reactions are to calm. Otherwise I really like it! |
 Anithrarith 2002-05-14 . chapter 1Pretty good so far. What's gonna happen, I wanna know. Hurry up with it, and as always, keep it coming. |
 Dragonsayer Krysten Maerzin 2002-05-14 . chapter 1Wow! This is a really good story! The description and plot caught my attnetion when I first read it! Please write more! ^-^ |
 sstsau 2002-05-13 . chapter 1That was really good! You write really well, and the plot is really interesting as well! Please put up more! ^_^ |
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