  Dormah Lydia 2003-05-09 . chapter 3 Well, i have never written a review, so sorry, if it is clumsy a bit, but still...
I have read a lot of fanfics, when i had time to, and one of the most famous among them was "draco dormiens" by Cassandra Something (sorry, i don't remember family name!). What i wanna say, is that her task was less complicated, as she was working with ready characters, she didn't have to think about personalities of Draco, Harry, Hermione and stuff. And anyways it is known as one of the best fanfics about hp as she coped with making Draco not so bad and Harry not so good, Hermione not so clever, only Ron stayed fool like he was. So my advice is to use not just stereotypes, but try to embody real people with all their feelings. If you manage, i believe it will be a success.
The beginning is really good, you have got action and romantic aspects which is always good to have. There are some nature descriptions, they are not bad, when there is not too much and not too little. I suppose, you will add some suspense, when you describe something like Lydia in the forest, fear is never excess. You have found fertile field for adventures, and i think, that if you add more romance it will be good, as girls read such the stories more often and they like romance. And they like such a little sign "after 18 only". Just a suggestion.
On the whole, i like it and i will be waiting for the new part!
If you have inspiration, i hope that it will be a good story.
Best wishez!! |
  Curare 2003-01-30 . chapter 2Hey!
Well I do realise it's been almost a year since you last wrote, what happened to the plot you found? What you do have is promising and I thonk you should continue, also as some one else wrote the short chapters are a good idea as the break it up nicely.
By the way thank you 4 reviewing my story 'Soul Binding' have a look at 'Dirty Blood' too.
Unity
~Curare |
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