Ooh, very neat. I was wondering where Lilia had come from. Maybe you could make it a bit clearer where they are? All we know is that they’re heading for a village. The plot is great, I love Crystal. ^_^
paragraph 2: no comma after “like”
paragraph 8: What is the Ocarina? Are we not supposed to know yet? Cause I don’t.
paragraph 9: This is kind of confusing. When you say “that is the main reason why they were taking this voyage” what do you mean by “that”? Also, when you say “They, of course, brought it along” what’s ”it”?
paragraph 10: Who is “everyone”? Do they have friends? Family? How old is Lilia, anyway?
paragraph 17: You have two “you know”s in the first sentence. Also, you left out the “t” in “night”.
paragraph 20: What do you mean by “skirt ‘skirt’”? Also, i don’t think you need a comma after “single” in the last sentence.
paragraph 21: You’ve got two “always”s in the same sentence.
paragraph 23: I think you mean ”hand”, not “had”.
Aw, poor Lilia! I hope she finds her mom and dad. T_T

This is a neat story! I like the idea of half cat/half human. I’d like to be one! *purr* Anyway, a very cool start. Some stuff I noticed:
paragraph 1: You have two “best friend”s close to each other and it sounds funny.
paragraph 3: you put “lighting” instaed of “lightning”
paragraph 10: When you say “she” the second time, do you mean Lilia or Crystal? Same for the beginning of the next paragraph.
Yay, I love this! Now for chapter 2.

wow, good!

anywho, be careful about using same or similar words too frequently. its still a little redundant in places [ugh, im sorry about using that word so much]

otherwise, great story! i love crystal- cats rock! *runs away from barking, growling and mobbing dogs*

Yo kim, i havn't read the story yet, but...

Yo Kim,
This be an interesting story, no? Cat-human types are kinda cool on there own, but ones that live to 300? You'd think thet were elves or what not.

Luckly for you, I like elves. Keep this one going, it could be great. Only thing I have to say about changes, make sure (as you always should in stories like this) to include magic. We all love magic!

Monsieur Drake

Please please please continue!!!!!