hey this story was awesome! it moves really well too i can not wait for the next chapter! the beginning descriptions seemed a little too rushed, if you want a little criticism i would try and describe them as you talk about them later in the book ,dont rush to do it all in the first paragraph, but its great! i cant wait to read the rest of your stuff! and thaytnks for liking mine!

Pretty good. I really like the story line. The story is a bit confusing and could use some more details. There were some paragraphs that just about every sentence in them started with the word "she". Can u see how that might get annoying? Really, I shouldn't be criticizing(dang, I hate tha word. GRRRRRRRR! Stupind spelling!ARGH!lol). U'r story is much better than any of mine. hehe. Well, continue! Try not to use the word "she" so much, like again and again. It will make u'r stories better. Oh ya! I'm gonna add u to my favorite list! I like where this story could be going! Very interesting! Great job! OMG I'm rambling! _

OMG! I love the concept! I love how everyone has an element, and you make the guys sound *so* hot. Heh- not that that matters, but yeah. It's beyond safe to say I thouroughly enjoyed this.

this is great stuff

Well, you've gotten off to a nice, rolling start. I like the way Erised flows. Very good.

I agree, hehehe. Write more soon, please! Chop chop! _;

-azalai

Oh come on, only 2 chapters, I was just settling into the story!

Oh,... Erised.. Desire spelled backwards. That was just plain genius. I liked this story, and really, you have some talent here.

Like I said before, I like the second chapter. -.- dunno why tho. More! Please?

-azalai

P.S.-*whiny voice* What should my story be called?

Cool story so far!

More! More! You ended it cuttedly! CUTTEDLY. Uhh...you prolly dunno what that means, but still, cuttedly. More, please!

-azalai