Beautiful, and sad, and I like the broken style. Fits the theme.

Wow...that was...god I don't know how to describe it. Awesome just doesn't cover it...I loved it, I really did.

-+- Nanashi Naomi -+-

Wow. I loved that completely. It was descriptive AND meaningful. Way. To. Go!

incredible.

...

[awestruck]

so, so plathian. and I love you for it.

~EG

Haunting. Gorgeous though, I'm at loss for words...

~Lli

wow.this was an amazing poem.I really love the way you slowly came into the fact that this girl's boyfriend is violent.I really love the last 5 lines as well.Bravo!keep up the wonderful work!
~*ScarletDreamer

damn. you're incredibly talented. i'm jealous.

prediction- you'll be an esteemed writer one day

(just a thought). this poem rocks. love the "(breath)"s.

great touch. please write more, or i may go into withdrawl.

-liz

~applauds ever so loudly~ I really liked this a lot. It ended marvelously, the china doll was a great way to put it.

I certainly know this feeling. makes me jealous sometimes. i liked this poem a lot, it brought me to a bit of myself, which is what the best of poems do.

you are very talented. nice work

*check out some of my stuff if you'd like*

thank you so so so much. this is exactly how i felt about a friend of mine, (who actually looks and dresses like the girl you describe!), when she was in a relationship with a completely hateful man. now shes out of it thank god, but this is just how i used to think. thank you.

i have finally found, someone who has really good poetry on fanfic, the higher quality among all the trite emotional mush--and all i can say is wow and thank you and this is a great poem! i cant wait to get to the next one

a brilliant genius beautiful structure
structure! Oh
its marvelous, just look at it!

oh man, look at it! Cant you just love form?

its almost as beautiful as her, the structure
the poem of words.

ah you are a cubist.

some of it is like


cummings in alot of ways

we should talk.

kai

Wow, this is powerful, even moreso since you mentioned this is really happening to someone you know. I never know what to say in reviews, but this really is a beautiful poem. Keep writing, you're amazing.