Oh yeah! Review combo! Story's still great. I hope you're ready with an update cause I'm runnin' outta chapters.

Anyway, great story. :D

Hi, I'm Ty. Cool story, though I'm only at chapter two, it looks like an epic plot's going.

You have a very good eye for the little details, almost as if it actually happened. Your story line so far is very interesting, I'll be sure to read in more. I do have a suggestion for any further writing though, if I am not imposing... You tell all of the characters' actions, but few emotions or feelings towards an incident or subject. I do enjoy your style of writing. I'm off to the next chapter, and I implore that you keep going with this story.

Hi. I am in the process of getting an account, so sorry for a non-username comment. I've just finished reading your prologue, and I must commend you for the background detail. I like your concept of magic; it sounds almost like a video game. I don't want to assume much, but would you be a regular video game player? You have some well thought out ideas, and your use of vocabulary is excellent. I look forward to reading the rest of your story.

This is just something of a short idea that popped into my head while I was reading. First off let me say I don't want to impede on your style or influence you in any unwelcome way, just offer up some ideas... Perhaps Elder Mikal could be some kind of demon or something, bent on destroying the Scazin family and the Nizacas families. Or maybe he could even the descendant of a family that was a bitter enemy of the Scazins years in the past--maybe even defeated by the Scazins and banished from their home city (Alconion was it?). Maybe even after revenge? Anyways, just random ideas, if it helps I'll be glad to have aided you, and if not, then keep doing what you're doing because it's GREAT!

Okie dokie. Last chapter -- here I go!
1.) "Karai and Durkatcha decided one of them should return to the village" -- "had decided", probably.
2.) "drowned rats" -- probably more like drowned cats, don't you agree? :)
3.) "Well no rest for the weary this day" -- Add a comma after well, since that's where you'd breathe.
I suspect the only reason more people haven't reviewed this is the shear number of stories and poems you have on your site. Because there's certainly no problem with the quality of your writing here. I don't know how to fix that, except to suggest that you write LOTS of reviews for other people, so that they'll (hopefully) re-review your stuff.
In any case, please write more!! I like it!
Ruatha

Hi again!
1.) "the old fashion way" -- "old fashioned"
2.) "He blames everything on the Nizacas, he's the one that cursed me" -- Interesting... Also, from a grammatical standpoint, either add a "but" after that comma, or replace it with a semicolon or period.
3.) "You mean Mikal and Viola never told you of the curse." -- Question mark, please!
4.) "You mean you don't know." -- Another question, correct?
5.) Also, would Malkin have welcomed them at all, if he hated their family so much?
6.) "I'll leave a double with you" -- Ok, it's hard to determine who's saying each of the short lines after this. Please label them!!
7.) "It mewed and turned its back on him" -- Hehehe!! I love cats! You did a nice job with this one. He/she needs a name, though! :)
8.) "Wished she tell us how to make them" -- How about "Wish she'd..." instead?
9.) "who the two guest were" -- "guests"
10.) "The horse pranced away" -- "horses", I assume.
11.) "Your the son of old Nick" -- "you're"
12.) "Tell me how are Viola and Mikal doing?" -- Add a comma after "me", please.
Well, there you go! Another nice long review. Hope it helps you! But if you don't mind, please either send me an email or review something of mine so I know you're still alive and kicking. I HATE writing to people who aren't paying attention to fictionpress anymore! Thanks!
Ruatha

It always amazes me how few people actually bother to review. The fact that your story only got 2 reviews in a half-year is just plain depressing! Let me fix that...
1.) "mystery meats" -- Usually ONE mystery meat at a time is enough!
2.) "Every time I've tried it everything in the packs breaks or shreds" -- Hehe!
3.) I like how the two cousins interact, btw.
4.) "There was a barely perceptible rustle nearby..." -- It's kind of confusing here, because you can't tell if Karai and Durka are hearing the girls' conversation (ie: faking unconsciousness), or not. If they're really out cold, you should add some sort of bar between the sections where Karai is the persona, and the sections where the girls are.
5.) "What are we suppose to do with them" -- "Supposed".
6.) "If only Nicholas Koro, Viola, and Mikal had stayed here, this would never have happened" -- Who says this? And what would never have happened? The cursing, or the ambush on Karai and Durka? I don't understand.
7.) Ah. You answer #6 later. Still, tell the reader who said the original comment, at least.
8.) "The elder left the two men..." -- Where are the two girls now? I doubt they'd have left two of their possible enemies alone...
9.) "these two guys" -- This sounds too informal to belong in the narrative part of this story.
10.) "Nicholas Koro is my father's name" -- Who says this? Durka or Karai?
11.) "Their the sons of the ones we drove away" -- First off, use "they're". Secondly, I thought you said that their parents left because they felt they had to, not that they were driven off.
12.) "This stick is imbued with different cleaning spells" -- HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA! It's just funny that Durka's such a neat freak!
13.) I really like the ending to this chapter! Tis funny!
Nicely done! Me likes!
Ruatha

Hey there! Let me have a look at your story. I always comment as I read, so it's all in chronological (or whatever you call it) order:
1.) "These are easier to carry around unlike a sword" -- Awkward. Try something more like "These are easier to carry around THAN a sword". Also, I like this reasoning for why wands are used.
2.) "Combining skills in combat and magic are hard" -- Took me a while to figure out why this sounded strange, but I think it's because you should be using "is" instead of "are". Ie: "Combining skills IS hard."
This looks interesting. I'll head on to the next chapter now! Thanks!
Ruatha

hey,
this is a good story, but it kind of sounds like a movie script in some parts. but otherwise, i love it. you should really think about becoming a professional writer.

This is fun to read; the story is well written and the characters are beginning to come alive for me. You mentioned that you wanted feedback, well, I only have a couple of points.

Try not to explain details of your plot when you've already made clear what is happening in a previous paragraph or conversaton (that bit about the mage cats enlarging for instance) - it's a bit jarring and can pull a reader out of the story. I'm also finding some of your longer pieces of dialogue a bit hard to follow, they seem very abrupt to me for some reason and I feel a bit like a spectator at a tennis match as the dialogue bats back and forth (that might just be a personal thing but I thought I'd mention it).

I am enjoying this though, and I would like to find out what happens. I've got you on my alerts list so I'll know when you update and I shall keep reviewing.

Cyan