0.0

how could you stop WRITING this?

MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE!

KMJ

Br... the room I'm reading this in is very cold and your story only adds to the effects.

Datran reminds me faintly of Merrick (with his calm acceptance of the crap that the Gods throw at him). I'm a bit confused as to what the heck the Kivsh thing is... I'm not getting a good visual of it. But you do a great job setting up a whole world and the people mentality with just this intro scene. I can already tell that society is rigid and religion/aka the Temple especially so (casting a kid out into the cold for one little mistake), and that the Temple has factored largely into Datran's life (he keeps referencing the God so it must be on his mind, as it always has been).

Onto the next chapter! w00t w00t!

Always,KMJ

Your not making anymore chapters? i read both of your storys and their great! i mena, how could people NOT like them? their AWESOME!

Hi, thank you for reviewing LOTR story. I'm sorry that Beyond hasn't gotten very many reviews, but I'm enjoying it, hope you continue with it.
It could be more descriptive, however, with more character development. For example, where is the story set, on earth or somewhere else? And I'm assuming that Datran is human, but I would like some descriptions of his background and how did he came to be in the Temple. What's life like in the Temple? Is Kittet human? If not, maybe you could give some descriptions of her appearance and her culture? Thess Changlings are obviously not human, and they're Kittet and Datran's enemies. Where did they come from and what started the conflict?
I hope I don't sound too critical, but the review box does say that it can be helpful to comment on story aspects that can improved. Again, I'm enjoying, and I hope to see more!

Come on now, that ain't cool!
More is needed, there are enough stories that've been cut off here, and it is utterly infuriating when a good one manages to end up up cut off! With an idea that is as interesting as this, you gots to keep going!
Oh well, I know the feeling of no reviews, until I went hunting for them, I got none.
Anyway, email me @ clifjumpr13@yahoo.com if you do decide to keep posting this one, I like it.

I really liked this story! You keep the pace well, and have good hooks to keep the read interested.
Keep writing!