i looove that one. one of my faves :)

*hugs*

"dreams are for beginners. No more do I beleive that I will fly."

Very nice, it's subtle in it's ryhme and rhythem, which is very nice. It's imagery isn't all that forced - you take older images and put a twist on them, try and do more of that. Or just stay away from cliched words like 'soul'.
Nevertheless, I liked the way it all flowed.

My advice is to break it up a bit visably. It's really hard to look at a solid mass of words.
Put line breaks in where you think they should go.

Liked this one a lot.

-kirney

i can feel the words they ryhm very well and i can understand your feelings with this poem.