wow. that's good. I think it needs a sequel..maybe make the character more "your own"...like, you can make her days in schools...how she's like at home and in the public..i dunno..her character (if it even IS a girl...) seems sort-of unfinished... but over-all, it's a nice story.

nice story. interesting uniqueness to it!

You have to use paragraphs, it makes it too annoying to read otherwise. Other then that, the story was alright, needs work. Good try.