'He blinked and smiled, "Oh, that. I was not staring at you." That liar. "I was only trying to figure out how a girl like you would have a boyfriend. I just don't understand how." '

OMG. I thought Karen would've lyk smacked him in a face with some large swap fans or something XD. That is so mean XD ::cackles away::

O_o I dont know. Everything's so mysterious so far. So well written. I lyk it ^_______^ Keep going!

Okay, I'm finally back from my work and family-related travels, so I now have the chance to take a look at your stories, as you requested.

You have considerable talent in the making. Your descriptions are vivid, your characters are intersting, and your plots are intriguing. I especially liked the description of how poor Justin is left out and mocked - you really made me feel bad for the poor guy. So see? - you are obviously able to evoke emotion from the reader, which is perhaps the one thing about writing that cannot be taught - you either have the ability or you don't.

However, you did ask for criticism, so I'll be as constructive as I can. First of all, you have a problem with maintaining the proper tense, which is confusing in a point-of-view way. Sometimes the main character is speaking in the past tense (i.e. we were practically best friends...) and then suddenly switches to present tense (i.e. she is always there for me). Although you often indicate the time change, it might be better grammar if you decided on one tense and kept to it, except when doing flashbacks.

As for the Justin situation, I think that you could get more into Karen's feelings and motivations. Why does she tolerate her friends' cruelty to him? If being popular is so important to her, then explore WHY it is important. The mention of her boyfriend Jared as nothing more than a ride home also sets up some intriguing questions. If Karen has a boyfriend, what does he mean to her, and why then is Justin still the most important confidant in her life? The exploration of character's feelings and motivations is often the most important part of a fic - otherwise, it can turn into Persons A and B went here, did that, on and on. If you care about WHY your characters do what they do, then so will your readers.

On the whole, I think that you have an excellent start here - these are just a few technical brush-ups that I am suggesting. I especially enjoy your touches of humor - the "All Bagpipes" radio station made me crack up completely.

Ja ne! - and Good Luck!!

You should put this in the Original Anime/Manga! You'll get a lot more attention from there too! Since everyone usually looks in that area. Otherwise, it's quite cool!

good opening, aludes to interesting things to come