This was deep and philosophical! People need more philosophers these days :) I liked the profoundness in this story. Keep up the good work. Hasta luego.
chibichocobo

Hm.
Tough question... But I think I'm both. One because I would never even THINK about the butterfly the other because heaven forbid if I miss my anime (DBZ,DBGT, Kenshin, YYH, etc...)
Oh well...
Nicely done though *clapping*
~Shimagami~
^_~

That was really good! Can I ask you a question? How do you get bold letters to stay when you put your story or whatever on this website. No matter what I do, it always disappears as if I'd never made it bold. ^^0 Anyway, keep up the excellent work! ^_^

Wow! That was really good!!! I love philosophical pieces like that, yes... :-D

The only suggestion I can think is that it's really important in an original fic- particularly a short story- to get as much characterization as possible in at the beginning of the story. You provided a lot of background, which was good, but the reader wants to know *more* about the main character. You have to put something in at the very beginning which will make the reader feel some sympathy toward or interest in the character- so they know why in the world they care enough about this person to read the story and find out what happens to him.

For example, maybe put something in about all the things he would rather be doing than go over to the little kid's house. All the responsibilities he has to deal with. Perhaps put a few actions in like exasperated sighing, running his hand through his hair, checking his watch, to let the reader know that this visit wasn't first on his agenda.

Do you see what I mean?

On the whole, this is, like I said, a very good original fic. I loved the way you put some poetry in there to affirm your ideas!! (Especially Wordsworth; I'm particularly fond of his poetry.)

Keep up the good work! I look forward to reading more original fiction from you.

Luv,

~Taylor