It was mid-November now much time had passed. Grandma was finally home
again. That in itself was a hellacious time. Due to the surgery, she was
taking many drugs a day that was making her almost crazy. She saw girls in
the corner of rooms, dogs in the closets, and even had the FBI come into
the hospital to smuggle drugs. All of which were hallucinations. At one
point, the incisions from surgery became infected, which put her back in
the hospital instead of the nursing home where she was for rehabilitation.
It was a Saturday morning, Mat checked Randi's online journal once more. It
Well, things have changed in the past few days. I didn't have enough time
to write in here yesterday, or I would have told the world about my first
real kiss. It was sooo cool! I'm sure that anyone who's read this in recent
days knows the Mike I've been talking about. Apparently, I can -and did-
sort of steal him away from Libbie. I want to feel bad about it, but Mike
tells me that it wouldn't have happened if he didn't want it to, so ya
know. I suppose I shouldn't feel too awfully guilty about it.
But anyway! Yeah, back to that first kiss... Not that any of you care, but
it was a rather interesting approach. We finally got rid of my group of
followers and were walking down an empty hallway and... he just pushed me
up against the wall and kissed me. It was like... wow. Sure, it would have
been better if it had been longer, but people were coming down the hall,
and he had to head off to practice. Doesn't matter, because he made up for
that this morning.
I don't know why I bother writing in this like I have an audience who reads
it. This is a journal, it doesn't matter if anyone does or not! This is the
place to empty my brain of all of these cluttersome(and no, I don't care if
that's a real word or not...) and distracting thoughts. And so... empty I
Well, I have to thank Jenna when I see her tomorrow. She's decided not to
ride the bus in the morning because of Mike and I. She says it's the
courteous thing to do, and I really do appreciate it, seeing as how Mike
has this thing about privacy... Personally, I could care less. Doesn't
matter to me if people are like, surrounding me. But some people are
different, and I respect that. Besides, sometimes it's more fun without an
At least I don't have to worry about being super insecure when I kiss him
now. This morning on the bus, he asked me who I'd been practicing on and I
was all like, "Practicing on? I guess I'm just a quick study." *shakes her
head* Amazing how cheesy a person can become under the right circumstances.
This afternoon was cool, too.
Yet AGAIN, I had problems getting my friends to leave us alone. Everyone's
giving us shit for the relationship already, which is funny because we
weren't even dating yet. But we were talking once Jess left and he was
talking about terrifying Dan. I don't blame him, the kid's being a total
bitch, but more on that later... AAAANYWAY... I asked him what he'd say to
Dan seeing as how Mike and I weren't officially dating yet. I was all like,
"What'd you say? Since we're not dating, I'm really nothing but your
whore." I was joking, and I meant it at the same time, so ya know.
So he said he didn't know what I'd say. I was like "DUH! It's not that hard
to figure out." And he said he still wasn't sure. So I said, "I can tell
you that I won't say no." So him, being the smartass he is, goes, "You
could say hell no." I shook my head and laughed and said, "Okay. So I won't
say anything 'no' related." So he asked, and I said yes! Obviously... I
mean, why are some guys so insecure about that? I mean, damn, I was about
half a step away from asking him.
But yeah, we're official now. YAY! First kiss, first boyfriend... Life is
Now, on to Dan and his bitchiness. Okay, the power was out at the school
for almost the whole first two periods this morning, so we had to stay in
our homerooms until it came back on. Jenna and Dan have the same homeroom,
and apparently he was bitching to her the whole time about him missing his
chance with me. Like I said, too bad, that ship has sailed. He missed the
boat! It's really pathetic because he's all trying to impress me now, and
it just doesn't work. I'm beginning to really thank Mike for saving me from
making quite a mistake. The boy keeps trying to make passes at me, and
Mike'll kill him. I told him to back off, but he doesn't seem to be getting
the hint. And now, Dan's all trying to tell me that Mike and I aren't gonna
last. Everyone's saying that. I hope we last for a year or longer just to
prove them all wrong, the fuckers...
Apparently, Mike's "wrestling brethren" don't approve of me. I don't see
why they wouldn't seeing as how half of them don't even know me. Oh well,
some of my friends'll be pissed because I'm dating a jock. The classic
fairy-tale jock meets goth scenario... Absolutely perfect. And he's so
sweet, you wouldn't believe it! He's always telling me I'm gorgeous, and so
beautiful and the like. And I try to disagree with him, but it's getting
harder and harder to. As usual, he's gonna win this argument. I wanna win
for once, dammit! Oh well.
Today was a good day, and I hope tomorrow will be, too. Guess that's it,
then. Oh yeah, and check out this band! Ofearia They kick ass, and they
said they'll be adding more songs soon. Check 'em out!
Peace, love, and may many sexy vampires come your way!
It stung Matt, but not nearly as hard as Pat did.
"Haha, did you read Randi's journal?" He asked online.
"Yeah." Matt said blandly.
"Yeah, so now she has a boyfriend. I bet you're jealous and wish it was
"Not really." Matt said. Certain things were in higher priority to him than
having that type of relationship with Randi at this point in life. He
wanted her to be happy, and wanted whatever was best for her.
"Come on," Pat pushed. "Don't lie, you know you still love her and want
That wasn't the first time Pat had said something like that, and it sure as
hell wasn't the last time. Early that summer, Pat was showing pictures of
Randi to Matt. She was in her bikini and Pat implied how Matt "Wanted a
piece of that." And how Matt "Still loved her."
Matt did what he did the first time. He swallowed his pride and ignored
Pat. It wasn't Matt's fault that Pat couldn't see the truth, while his head
was in other places. (For lack of better words.)
What happened next Matt couldn't believe, and would not soon forget. From
outside, he heard a yelp. It was Tanner, walking on three good legs with
the fourth in the air. His dog, his companion, his friend, tore the ACL
just like last year in his other back leg. The prognosis wasn't much better
than the shrill of Tanner's yelp. He was going to be put down the next week
After all Matt had been though the past two months, which was the kicker.
Matt hit the lowest point of his young life. He was at rock bottom. His
birthday was coming up, as was Christmas 17 days after that. After
listening to "Take It All" by TRUSTcompany, Matt had it dawn on him what he
wanted as gifts for those two occasions. He wanted nothing. He didn't feel
worthy of gifts, he didn't feel worthy of friends, and he didn't feel
worthy of anything. He felt as though he would be happier with nothing but
his life. All he wanted was to live. Everything else had no worth to him.
He had always been given so much, and now wanted to give it back. To Matt,
Christmas had lost all prior meanings. It was too commercial, and he wanted
to part of it anymore. Sadly, his parents would not stand for it. He still
received gifts that holiday season. As a slight victory however, he got
less than usual. But after the holiday season ended, Matt got the greatest
gift ever, from the person he least expected it from.