The Theory of the Flamer

by: Neko-chan

First of all, before I begin, I wanted to thank everyone who reviewed this essay--no matter _how_ they replied to this essay. So, since so many more questions and issues were raised, I decided to add more to this essay. I do hope you enjoy it and at least _think_ about what each reply means. Thank you very much.

To start us off, I'll copy and paste what one person thinks of my essay. Then, after that, I'll copy and paste what another person thinks of my essay and one of the reviews that I received. Once again, I hope that each side of the argument helps you think more about this issue.

Reply A: Oh! Another idiot who thinks they're justified by bombing stereotyped evil, let's join in kiddies!

First of all, you preppy stuck up bastard, not every "flamer" uses stupid little 'chat-cronyms' as I've heard them called. I've seen quite a few flames that gave constructive criticism as well as crushing the hopes of the author; I found it quite amusing to say the least. As well, there are many "flamers," that leave an address, me being one of them. I will admit that majority is surprising scarred shitless that the author, who for god given reasons, might actually have a backbone and email them. As well with the imagination bit, I bet you EVERY single one of them has more imagination than you. How can I make this bet? Because you're preaching shit I'm tired of hearing every day/week/month. Find a new topic of interest moron.

I have to severely disagree with paragraph four. Flames flame 90% of the time not because they want to be rude or insulting (that is the other ten percent), but because they dislike the fiction and feel it is their Americanized constitutional right to blast it for being something they personally disapprove of. So they don't leave their email, big whoop-deedo for you. You my friend wouldn't leave an address either, you'd leave a signed review. Why? Because it looks better if the flamer leaves one. That way he doesn't have to show on in the profile. I'm not calling you or your minority bunch of chicken shit asses but I'm sure as sure implying it.

And another thing (geez I'm starting to sound like you), flamers don't need reasons to flame. You don't need a reason for anything but people ask because they think they're being smart when if fact they look like idiots for asking obvious answer questions.

"Once again, the answer is very simple: The typical flamer lives only to insult people. They have no other purpose but that. Why? Because the typical flamer is uncouth, rude, insulting, and negative. Also, the observer can see that the average flamer has no manners just by reading their 'reviews.' To sum it all up, the typical flamer is a very negative person." You sure hurt 'em bad that time cowboy. May I correct you again by saying that only a SMALL minority of "flamers" actually LIVE to be insulting, rude, etc., etc.. Think about if for a second chief, who do you know who is spiteful, better yet, how many people do you know who are spiteful enough to commit their LIFE to insulting others? Not many, but then again I'm picturing you as some kind of desk worker, book worm, "Look I'm better than all of you because my life is so FUCKING perfect" kind of people. With my luck you're only the latter.

Tell me, are you by ANY chance American? Why do I ask? Because you are so bloody dumb. First off, EVERY last writer writes for him or herself, UNLESS they have to for work or for a school project. Even then they write what THEY feel they should write, sure they will follow guidelines but they put what THEY want into what they write. What you OBVIOUSLY don't understand is that people, like you because you wrote this knowing you'd grind the nerves of someone like me, would respond by the truck load. Yes, people write for themselves but they only continue to write because of the feedback they get. If a person gets all flames and hurtful comments than they WILL stop writing, why? Because they either suck to no end or don't clearly grasp what they are doing. Also, people do care what people say, because they are shallow and rely on the praise of others to feed their egos. It can be really bad for some crazy writer who can't use MS Word who's got some super-huge ego with a piece of shit 200+ word story with no plot, ZERO character development and who says in their summary: OMG PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! It's my first ficcy, I don't know where to post it so please be nice. Thanks for the summary blondy. That simply BEGS for a flamer to come along and destroy their pitiful hopes and dreams of being god's gift to whatever fandom they belong to.

"They don't seem to realize that compared to a reader that reads most of the author's work and LOVES it, they are nothing. _They don't matter at all._ They are _worthless._" Um...what? Who are you bashing now? It sounds like, for some reason obviously not apparent to me, that you are dissing the good reviewer, but at the same time the reader too? Whose grammar is bad now?

"So, in conclusion, if an author has almost all flames, but still has at least ONE reader that loves their work, then all of the flames that they received don't matter. And, even if the author has ALL flames, they still don't matter. You write for yourself, not for anyone else. And flamers are people who have nothing better to do than flame people all day long. And you know what type of people they are." WHAA??!?!?!?! Of course they matter. May I inform you that flamers only go the incredibly bad writing. I know this from experience. Unless their stuff is complete shit, they don't get touched. Believe me, I've started my fair share of flame wars and mud slinging contests, but I had good reason too.

P.S. You complain about flamers having bad spelling and grammar and then you have the gull to put "huggles" into your author's notes. What the fuck is huggles? If it the obvious then don't bother answering. Seriously, you make them out to be children and then do something so...so...STUPID! As put "huggles" into the mix. People these days, I dunno.

Reply B: Oh wow that's cute...I guess you could say that he at least thought about his flame. Which is all-together too funny by itself. And I completely disagree with this "shallow-minded writer" thesis. I, for one, have been writing since sixth grade for myself and myself alone. I have posted things that received nothing but flames and--oh wow go figure--I still write. Those flames never once bothered me and, to be honest, I saved them all so I can look at them and laugh (I do that a lot--people amuse me in so many ways). True, you can't stereotype all flamers, but they seem adamant about stereotyping us. (Makes perfect sense, doesn't it? ;-)...) I guess someone just always has to have some fire under his butt to make him angry and that flamer just seems to have us as the flame. (Go all of us! :-D) I guess all I really need to say is, well, you can't win everyone over. Someone's got to get offended by something--everything. However, we _shallow_ authors just don't seem to care. Too bad for them.

I just realized I skipped talking about a few more things...

A: What does being American have to do with _anything_??? Oh yes, the American is now an idiot. Why thank you, bloody Englander. Whoops! Stereotyped you there! After all, you used the word "bloody," therefore you must be from England. Just like our "stupid" opinions make us American, right?

B: Huggle is a word. It's in an online dictionary. My friend linked me to it and if I could find the url than I would _love_ to post it. (Scratch yet another part of a flame down [why don't you look for a word that you know is made up, hmm?])

C: That flamer's grammar isn't all that great, either. The part of The Theory of the Flamer he/she/it ~~~(I prefer the last one, but that's just me) criticized is fine grammar. I understood it. Everyone else understood it. It didn't. ::snaps fingers:: Oh darn it wasn't written in that special language of bigot. Shoot. There's your problem right there! You really must learn how to write like an idiot in order for an idiot to understand.

I really hate actually lowering myself to It's level, but really people, must we all be so crass? Whoever influenced It's opinions should really be shot. It isn't being very receptive of _other_ peoples' opinions. Isn't that, after all, what It wants? To have It's own opinion? When do ours count in It's mind, hmm?

I like people that have nothing more important in life than to look at what they don't like and then criticize it. Actually, it really makes my day that they seem so adamant about it. :-) (Bigotry is amusing, no?) She (Neko-chan) can use whatever she wants in her response and I applaude her for defending us from the utter stupidity of close-mindedness. And yet, life would be so uninteresting without those flamers that actually take the time to plan out an _essay_ flame. I've gotten an entire page flame before and I must say, the depth that person went to immerse themselves in something they hate makes me proud to know I'm part of a race this _smart._ You can use this message, too, if you like. I'm not much of a violent person in pushing my thoughts, but some things I really want to defend.

I agree that people need to defend some things and I just hate it when some people just can't seem to get past calling someone else "stupid" or an "idiot." I despise having to use that when I respond to anything myself. If you can't get your opinion across without bashing someone, then why are you talking? And, more importantly, why would you think anyone would _care_? Leave people out of it and you'd be surprised how much more receptive we "stupid authors" are. ;-)

Power to the leaders! We don't run with the pack! We make our own and defend out territory from the rabid wolves that will soon die, and hope against hope lest they infect others with their disease!

So, as you can see, these are two completely different views on my essay and each others' reply. Each person is entitled to his or her opinion. _I_ am entitled to my own opinion, which is why I wrote my essay in the first place. I seriously think that there is something wrong with someone who can only write negative things about other people.

To bring attention to something said by Reply A, people, no matter how immature and simple their stories are, DON'T deserve to be flamed. Many people will say that I'm preaching at this point, but let me explain my _own_ point of view. And I will use an example to clarify what I mean.

After I had become a member of for several months, I was reading a story in the original fiction section (a fantasy story) and I noticed that this person received only flames. Wondering why this was so, I read the story. The plot developed slowly, the characters acted out of character at times, and there were spelling and grammatical errors. But there was nothing truly seriously wrong with the story. So I wrote a review, pointing out what was wrong with the story and what was interesting with it. Later on that day, I emailed that author and offered to help them. That author accepted my help, took down that story, and over the course of several weeks, we worked out the "kinks" of the story. When that same author reposted the story--with the corrections--it received no flames at all. The point of this story is to show people that all it takes is a little help and kindness to make something that just needed a little bit of work into something great that everyone would love.

I'll use this section to bring attention to several other things that Reply A mentions. The first thing that I wanted to point out is the use of coarse language. Readers will remember that I brought attention to that in the first essay. (And, I just wanted to let you know, you can call me a bastard if you want to. But, because of my gender, I think that bitch is more appropriate.) Another thing I want to ask: How can a person both flame an author AND give him/her constructive criticism? It isn't possible. To add to this, I just wanted to say that I find it very sad that Reply A find it amusing to crush someone else's hopes and dreams. Everyone has hopes and dreams and they should never get crushed. Once again, it may seem like I'm preaching. I don't care. It's...inhumane, the way that Reply A speaks of doing so.

To be blunt and answer one of Reply A's questions: If I seem like I'm preaching, so what? I find flamers morally and humanly wrong; how can someone be so cold to other people? To me, it's a mystery. True, I can be mean at times, but I don't think that it's normal how some flamers can be THAT cruel and inhumane. And I can talk about whatever I want. It's a free country and, as you pointed out, my right to free speech that the constitution gives me. After all, if the KKK can meet without being broken up, then I can certainly discuss my own opinion(s) about flamers and how I regard them.

"It can be really bad for some crazy writer who can't use MS Word who's got some super-huge ego with a piece of shit 200+ word story with no plot, ZERO character development and who says in their summary: OMG PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! It's my first ficcy, I don't know where to post it so please be nice. Thanks for the summary blondy. That simply BEGS for a flamer to come along and destroy their pitiful hopes and dreams of being god's gift to whatever fandom they belong to." One, no one ever deserves to be shot down. If the person is inexperienced and truly DOESN'T know what he/she is doing, then someone should gently point out WHAT they did wrong and what section they should post their fiction in. I will use your own example to prove it to you. This person doesn't necessarily have to be a huge egoist in order to write this as their summary. They could truly be new to and really and truly know not what to do. My younger sister was like this until I showed her what she was doing wrong and how to fix it. Naivete and inexperience could certainly be excuses for this type of story and summary. Also, I'm sure that I'm not the only person to notice this, but you use the word 'blonde' in an insulting manner. Being blonde is not a bad thing. Several of my best friends have blonde hair and they are some of the smartest people I know. You are assuming something and using a common stereotype, which you claim that _I_ do.

I've also noticed that a lot of flamers flame yaoi and yuri stories. Yaoi and yuri are the Japanese terms for gay and lesbian. Slash, if you will. I've always wondered at this. Most authors write a warning in their disclaimer AND also include it in the summary of the story. So most flamers usually know what they're reading even before they click on the story's link. Now, there can be many reasons for flaming such a story, but MOST (note that I'm not saying ALL) flamers review with something akin to: "OMG! How can you write this?! My favorite characters are gay!!! This is the crappiest story I've ever read and you're just SICK for writing stuff like this!" Now, I want to point out several things with this. There is nothing wrong with homosexuality. In fact, the Pope of the Catholic church has written SEVERAL encyclical documents addressing this 'issue.' (One of the documents should be the Catecism of the Catholic Church. But I'm not completely positive about this source.) And he never once says that people who are gay, lesbian, or bi are going to hell. He even tells his fellow Catholics that you should never judge these people and that they are still the same in his eyes. Many Catholics--and Christians--seem to 'forget' this. I wonder why...?

You say that most flamers leave their email address. Of all the flames that I have read, I have yet to see an email address. You are the only exception, as you say. Also, another thing that I want to point out--every flame that I have read thus far has used coarse language. You, my friend, are no exception this time. I'm sorry, but it's true. You DON'T need to use coarse language to get your point across.

Another thing that you point out are my grammar mistakes. Everyone makes grammar mistakes. I am no exception. As Reply B pointed out, neither are you. To be blunt (and rude, also), shall I list YOUR grammar mistakes?

Another thing that I want to point out before anyone goes any further. This is NOT a flame nor am I bashing anyone. I am just stating MY opinions as clearly as I possibly can. I know that my essay offended some people, but anyone's opinion offends any number of people. I am ready for more flames and I don't what people write in reply to this. After all, this is MY opinion.

Also, you say that people write because of feedback. That's not true. I'm writing a second installment because I've received so many opinions and I want others to see each side of the argument. I'm also writing this second installment to better clarify my own opinion. I don't care if I don't get any reviews on this. I'm writing this for my own sake and that's all that matters to me.

One thing that you mentioned caught my attention: "Flames don't need a reason to flame." This doesn't really make sense. If a story is perfectly good, does this mean that a flamer can flame it for no good reason? Just because they were 'in the good to flame.' I know that a lot of people will agree with me on this, but...that doesn't make sense at all. Another thing: How can you be PROUD of starting flame wars and mud slinging contests? Did you ever think about the authors who you started this over? They're real people, just like you and people. But, you never really thought of them as real people who would be affected by all of that, did you? More's the pity to you.

"May I inform you that flamers only go the incredibly bad writing. I know this from experience. Unless their stuff is complete shit, they don't get touched." I tell you again: This doesn't make sense. I know PLENTY of people who's stuff is EXCELLENT and they still get flamed. Your stuff doesn't have to be 'complete shit' to get flamed. All it has to be is just _be there._

In your reply, you mentioned that I wouldn't leave my email address. That I'd leave my signed review, then won't display my email address in my profile. That's not true. I'll defend my beliefs 'till the end of time and I'll always stand up for them, whether those beliefs are right or wrong. I'll always display my email address. Don't believe me? Here: My email address is . I also have another on yahoo: . But I hardly ever check my email at yahoo, so your email would take a long time to be answered. And, as you can see, my email IS displayed on my profile. I love getting mail, whether it be from flamers or from people who love my stuff. It gives me a change to talk to people from EACH view and I can discuss my own views. You can have your own opinion, I don't care. And I can have my own opinion. Once again, I don't care.

"Not many, but then again I'm picturing you as some kind of desk worker, book worm, "Look I'm better than all of you because my life is so FUCKING perfect" kind of people. With my luck you're only the latter." I don't have the perfect life, nor do I claim to. Some pretty nasty stuff has happened to me during my lifetime. EVERYONE has had some pretty nasty stuff happen to them in their lifetime. No one's life is perfect. _No one's._ Don't ever assume that it is. And I'm not a desk worker. I'm a concessionist for Edward's Theater. (At least until I finish school.) And I AM a bookworm and proud of it! At this very moment, I have four bookcases full of books and I am collecting more all the time. I love reading. I consider my books my security blankets. There is nothing wrong with being a bookworm. You learn new stuff and you get to talk to interesting people who share your own interests.

Also, the word "huggles" was meant for the people I mentioned in my author's note. Only them. "Huggles" is a word that my best friend uses. In anime/Japanese terms, it's more than a hug, but less than a glomp. A glomp is basically when you jump on someone and hug them then. Everyone who I mentioned in my author's note KNOW what "huggles" mean. It would, technically, be considered an inside joke between all of us. I know that it is improper grammar and probably improper English, but it is a sentimental thing that my fellow authors (the ones that I mentioned) will understand and take to heart.

As for Reply B, we have basically the same opinion, but you express your own opinion much more easily and more bluntly than my own. Plus don't misunderstand me, blunt can be a very good thing. I know that I'm beating around the bush with these essays and such, but I can be a very blunt person, also. And I admire that characteristic in others.

It's true, what both of us say. Authors only write for themselves. True authors may enjoy feedback, but they don't write because of that feedback. They only write for themselves. The write because they NEED to write.

And I didn't stereotype flamers. In the first essay, I used the words typical and average. Typical and average don't mean everyone. They mean the majority. And it's true. The majority of the flamers are what I said they were in the very first essay. I rarely found any other flames that were different. But, as Reply A pointed out, not ALL flamers are like that. Just the majority. Which is why I used average and typical. It may seem like I'm lumping everyone together in one big pile, but I'm not. There are exceptions, which I did point out by using those two words and by drawing attention the fact that Reply A is NOT the typical flamer.

Again, I know that I sound like a preacher, but some things you DO need to defend and some things are just plain wrong. Personally--once again, my own personal opinion--I think that flamers are wrong and, as a whole, are inhumane. Flame me if you wish, disagree with me as you wish, I won't begrudge you your own opinion. After all, that IS what the freedom of speech stands for. The right to your own opinion.

People should not be stereotyped, be called names, and shot down just because of what they believe in. They shouldn't be shot down just because their dreams aren't polished enough yet. After all, just imagine how many great people wouldn't be great if they had listened to what others had to say? A quote from a famous essay comes to mind: "To be great is to be misunderstood."

In the end, all that matters is your own opinion.