10/19/02 Came to me last night as I was watching something and thinking

Blood and Pain Together

It starts as a white line
looking like an age old scar
It turns a deep pink
like a normal scratch

Time stands still for those precious five seconds that it takes to ooze.

The pain comes
it feels like a paper cut
only worse.

But until the wound closes
until the pain stops

my inner turmoil is nonexistent
everything is at peace
I am at peace.
I'm floating on cloud nine.

But the wound closes eventually
I try to push the blood out
it drips red onto the porcelain floor
it pools around me
mixes with the steaming water and flows out the drain

And it closes..
Everything comes back to me
but it's numbed

All I can feel is the stab of pain that comes each time my sleeve rubs against my arm
And it feels so satisfying
it feels so good...