THE LIAM SMITH SHOW
Episode 3.15 "Significant Shrinkage"
Written by Jesse Glaspey INT. EAST LEE S. CAPABLE AREA. A tall, lanky person with large glasses with tape across them and a T-shirt that says "Buffy rulez" is sitting at one of those stalls waiting for someone. He has a large book in front of him. The guard brings in the Alpha Nerd. He sits across from the other person, revealed to be the BETA NERD. BETA NERD. Alpha! Long time, no see! Last time I saw you, Xena and Gabrielle were straight! Beta Nerd laughs so hard he snorts. ALPHA NERD Very funny. What are you doing here? You left the group, remember? You said that Duncan could beat Connor MacLeod in a fight and I disagreed. We argued and you left the group. BETA NERD Guess we know who won that argument! ALPHA NERD CONNOR THREW THAT FIGHT! HE WANTED DUNCAN TO TAKE HIS POWER! They both pause. ALPHA NERD You going to tell me why you're here? BETA NERD I've figured that since I wasn't with you when you led that mission into that sci-fi convention. That alone was responsible for your defeat. ALPHA NERD Good to know you're still humble. So are we working together again? BETA NERD LIKE QUINN AND COLIN MALLORY! Both nerds laugh so hard they snort. BETA NERD Let's get you out of here. ALPHA NERD Good. I have a mission to complete! BETA NERD You want to go after that guy the Tribunal of Evil sent you after? ALPHA NERD Damn right! I'll dust Liam Smith and his friends like Buffy on vampires! BETA NERD WE'LL dust them. Beta Nerd opens the giant book in front of him ("Get a life" by William Shatner), it's been hollowed out. He pulls out a Rubik's cube. He twists it around until one side is completely green. There is a bright green light and as it fades. Both nerds, the chairs and the divider in front of them are transported away. GUARD Damn. This ALWAYS happens on my shift! INT. UPDA CREEK APARTMENTS. LIAM'S PLACE. Liam is reading the newspaper. He flips to the want ads. He sees something. His eyes light up and he runs into the bedroom. He runs out with a suitcase and he runs out of his apartment. He passes Thad, Stacy, Jesse and Jonathan. They're all in the hallway, playing hockey on rollerblades. Jesse hits the puck toward Liam's face. Thad jumps past and catches it with his teeth. LIAM Thanks, Thad. THAD (spits the puck out) No problem. Jesse, Jon and Stacy skate up to Liam JESSE Sorry about that, Liam. You okay? LIAM Yeah. I'm heading to LA for a couple of days. I'll be back. STACY What? Where are you going? LIAM Bootygirl: The Movie is filming in LA and they need extras! I'm going to audition! Bye! JESSE Hold on! Isn't that the movie starring Kari Wuhrer? LIAM Yep. Gotta go! Everyone stops him. JONATHAN Wait, isn't what you're doing "stalking"? LIAM I don't have to have any scenes with her! I just want to know I'm working on the same project with her! Liam rushes off. JESSE We're going to have to go along to make sure he doesn't get arrested. Aren't we? STACY Yep. I'll get Arturo and Donner. Stacy walks off. Jesse, Thad and Jon turn around to see Bippo with a goalie mask on. JESSE Hey, if you wanted to play hockey with us, Bippo. All you had to do was ask! BIPPO (raises the mask) You're playing Hockey? RIM SHOT. FADE OUT ------------ Theme Song (Set to Sum 41's "Fat Lip") He works in Las Vegas at a job that he hates! His sister is a hot chick that he used to date! He goes home to Upda Creek at the end of the day! He swears on his life that he's really not gay! The Liam Smith Show's not the kind that you're used to! Kari Wuhrer's starring and she's got big hoo-hoos! Bippo is insane! Jesse has no brain! And here we all go again… The Liam Smith Show is on… It's the weekly fix that you all need! The Liam Smith Show is on… The funniest episode that you'll ever read! And OLE! ---------------------- The Liam Smith Show STARRING Dian Bachar as Liam Smith Co-Starring Seann William Scott as Thad Coffey Jason Lee as Jesse Glaspey/Cosmic Weasel Jack Black as Jonathan Krueger/Dr. Wham Robert Floyd as Bippo the Clown Cameron Diaz as Stacy VaVoom John Rhys-Davies as Professor Arturo Neil Patrick Harris as Gary the Fanboy Kari Wuhrer as Herself And MTV Movie Award Winner for Breakthrough Performance Jason Gaston as Donner AND GUEST STARRING Matt Damon as The Alpha Nerd Ben Affleck As The Beta Nerd And Chris Kattan as Martin Von Periwinkle ---------------- INT. A HOLLYWOOD STUDIO. THE SET OF BOOTYGIRL: THE MOVIE Liam and the gang are walking around the set of Bootygirl. They're gawking at celebrities on the set and Bippo is stealing food from craft services. LIAM Look! It's Eric Roberts! THAD Look! It's Emilio Estevez! ARTURO I didn't know they were in the movie! DONNER They're not. They're Kari's ex boyfriends. STACY Oh, God! Speaking of ex-boyfriends… Gary the Fanboy walks up. GARY What in the name of Seti Alpha 5 are you all doing here? LIAM We work here! We're extras! GARY What? The casting agency didn't just pick people at random and there's no way they'd just happen to pick all of you! How did you get in? LIAM Well, it's kind of a funny story… RIPPLE DISSOLVE TO: INT. CASTING AGENCY. THE WINDOW. Jesse and Jonathan are holding the head of the agency out of the window by his ankles. JESSE Are me and my friends in the movie? AGENT N-nooo! JESSE Okay. Jon! Make a wish! Jesse and Jon are about to pull apart. AGENT Okay! Okay! You're in! RIPPLE DISSOLVE BACK TO THE STUDIO. LIAM Wait! What are we doing here? What are YOU doing here? GARY I'm the technical advisor on this film! I've read every issue of Bootygirl! JESSE And here we were, doing stupid things like going outside, kissing girls and having a life. We could have been just like you! GARY Why you… Jesse is about to lunge forward to attack Gary when there is a loud clapping noise. Everyone turns to see the director of the movie, MARTIN VON PERIWINKLE clapping to get everyone's attention. MARTIN All right everyvun! Ve are goink to shoot now! Places! Places! Kari vill be joinink us shortly. She is in wardrobe! STACY Who would have guessed? She's putting clothes ON! Martin moves various people to their places. He stands Liam in the middle of an alleyway. MARTIN Okay, you vill play a person walking home from vurk ven a dirty crook mugs you and attacks you and hurts you. Bootygirl vill come down and save you. You vill be grateful, but she vill not speak. She never speaks! LIAM Can I ask her to marry me? Martin slaps Liam MARTIN NEIN! You vill not! Vis is not improv! You vant improv, you go to Drew Carey! LIAM Sorry. MARTIN And PLACES! Ven I yell "Frolic" that means "action"! Martin sits in his director's chair. MARTIN FROLIC! They start rolling. Liam walks down the alley. A thug jumps out of the alley and starts kicking the living crap out of him. Stacy leans over to Martin. STACY Um, he looks like he's really hitting and kicking Liam! MARTIN Ja. I like realism in my films. STACY What other films have you done? MARTIN "Swallow Man", "Enema at the Gates" and "Final Penetration" JESSE Hey! I saw that one! Everyone looks at Jesse. The scene goes on as Liam continues to get severe beatdowns. All of a sudden, Kari swoops down in full Bootygirl attire, kicks the goon in the stomach and handcuffs him to a dumpster. Kari helps Liam up and pats him on the back. Liam looks at her, letting her see who she saved. LIAM Thank you! Is there anything I can do to repay you? KARI AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Kari faints. MARTIN CUT! Vat's a wrap for today! Somebody pick Kari up and throw her in her hotel room! I shall scold her ven she awakes! Everyone may go home for the day! STACY There is a god! To hell with this. I'm going sightseeing. I don't get to go to LA that often. ARTURO I'll come with you. I'd like to see Los Angeles and not have it have some weird difference from the LA I knew. No bloody tidal waves or russian governments in power… Arturo and Stacy walk off. JESSE Since we have the rest of the day off, how about we go to this neat Karaoke Bar me and Jon discovered when we were here pitching the Jesse Glaspey Show? The Host is a little different than most club owners, but Thad will fit right in with the other customers! LIAM No thanks. I'd just like to go back to the hotel room and pass out. I think I can taste my kidneys… DONNER Well, we might as well go with you. LIAM Really? DONNER Yep. I don't get to raid those mini refrigerators often. LIAM Thanks… I think. Are you guys coming? BIPPO Sure! We can pretend we're the Who and tear the room apart! JESSE, JONATHAN & THAD We're in! GARY I'm going with you to make sure you don't stalk my Kari any more than you already have! LIAM Suit yourself. INT. LIAM'S HOTEL ROOM We see the door of the hotel room. We hear voices outside. It's Liam and the group. LIAM (from outside. Fumbling with keys.) It's incredible! I hear Kari is staying in this very hotel also! GARY (From outside) You just stay in your room until they call you for work, pal! LIAM (opening door and walking in) Oh, shut up! You make it sound like I'm a trouble magnet. Everyone comes inside when they realize they have guests. The Alpha and Beta Nerd are standing at the opposite end of the room. ALPHA NERD Liam Smith? VENGEANCE IS CALLING! The Nerds blast the group with some sort of energy gun. CLOSE-UP: LIAM AND THE GROUP. LIAM Hey! We're okay! PAN BACK TO REVEAL: The group has been shrunken to the size of 3-inches. The Alpha and Beta Nerd laugh. Liam looks at Gary. LIAM DON'T SAY A THING! ---- ------- ------- ------- ------- COMMERCIAL BREAK -Survivor: We f**k with nature! -The Mole: We f**k with your minds! -Temptation Island: We f**k with couples! -Big Brother: We f**k with boredom! ---- -------- -------- ------------ - INT. LIAM'S HOTEL ROOM. The entire group is now 3 inches high. The Nerds are laughing. The Alpha Nerd holds up that bizarre gun he used. ALPHA NERD Ha ha HAAAA! You're ours now! Courtesy of our new device: The Shrink-ometer! You thought we'd never come back didn't you? You thought we'd just fade into obscure third rate villain anonymity, like The Toad! Didn't you? The group pauses. They look at one another. They then nod in agreement. LIAM Well, yeah! ALPHA NERD Wha- HEY! Donner turns to Jesse. He's irritated. DONNER Aren't you supposed to have a weasel sense that's supposed to warn us about this kind of crap? JESSE It warns me of immediate life or death dangers! Getting shrunken doesn't qualify, apparently! DONNER Great. We've found something more worthless than your weasel sense. JESSE What's that? DONNER The fact you have a SELECTIVE weasel sense! Donner lunges toward Jesse and starts throttling him. the group separates them. ALPHA NERD Aw, look! They're fighting! Like little G.I. Joes! BETA NERD We shouldn't kill them right away. We could lock them in a Barbie's Dream house and watch them like an ant farm! ALPHA NERD OMG! We could have our own little "Big Brother"! J/k! BETA NERD LOL! :) JONATHAN I don't know what's more disgusting. Their suggestion or the fact that they speak in internet jargon. LIAM This SUCKS! All I wanted to do is be in the Bootygirl movie! Just one scene with Kari Wuhrer! But noooooooo! I have to get shrunken! The Nerds pause. ALPHA NERD Kari… Wuhrer? Bootygirl? BETA NERD Kari Wuhrer? I loved her in "Luscious"! ALPHA NERD Are they filming here? LIAM No. They're filming across the street at the studio. Kari is just staying at this hotel. The Alpha Nerd swoons. ALPHA NERD We have to find her! If we get pictures of the set, her autograph and a copy of the script, we'll be gods when we post it at "Aint-it cool" news! BETA NERD (Points to the group) And what about them? ALPHA NERD What about them? We lock the doors when we leave! They're not exactly going to be able to reach the doorknob! BETA NERD You're right. Let's go. And when we get back, we'll pretend we're Galactus and step on them! The Nerds do that snorting thing again. They walk out the door and lock it. THAD Well, NOW what? LIAM We could try and reach Professor Arturo. Maybe he can find a way to reverse this! DONNER Wait here for him to come back? No way. The Nerds could be back any minute. THAD We could try to get to Stacy's room. Then she'll call Arturo. BIPPO But how do we get to Stacy's room? There's a pause. They all do a slow turn to the ventilation duct by the floor. DONNER Ohhhh no! We are not going in there! There's probably rats in there! And how are we going to find Stacy's room from in there? LIAM Well, Stacy is only four rooms down from us so, we just count the vents 1-2-3-4! Easy! DONNER Don't we have to get IN the vents first? JESSE Don't worry. I have that covered! Jesse grabs one of Liam's sneakers that's by the bed. He carries it over to the grate covering the duct. He swings the shoe into the grating, knocking it down. DONNER I don't believe this. Even at three inches tall he STILL causes property damage! LIAM Come on, this trip will only be a couple of minutes. THIRTY MINUTES LATER… INT. THE VENTILATION DUCTS. Liam and the gang are in the middle of a vent with four different directions. DONNER Fantastic. Just f(BLEEP)ing fantastic! Now how the hell do we find Stacy's room? BIPPO Well, considering we're lost, there are an average of fifty rooms on to a floor in a hotel. It took us thirty minutes to get lost trying to find a duct four rooms away from our starting point... carry the four…We'll be dead by Wednesday! JONATHAN Assuming of course, the effects of the Shrink-ometer don't wear off while we're standing here and we're crushed to death in this vent. Everyone stops and stare wide-eyed in shock at Jonathan. JONATHAN What? LIAM Okay, new plan! We split up and double our search efforts! Jesse, Jonathan and Gary, you go that way! Me, Bippo, Thad and Donner will go this way. We come back here in an hour. JONATHAN And for future reference, to prevent you from getting lost, here's a helpful hint: The trick to getting out of a maze is if you keep your hand along one wall, It'll eventually lead you out or in our case back to your starting point. THAD Why didn't you tell us that earlier? JONATHAN (Points at Liam) Because I didn't think dipstick over there would get us lost! LIAM Hey! The group splits up. As they're walking away, Thad leans over to Liam. THAD (Whispering) Why'd you send Gary with Jon and Jesse? LIAM Would you rather Gary travels with us? The group shudders. TEN MINUTES LATER… Gary is following Jesse and Jonathan asking them all sorts of annoying questions about being superheroes. GARY Ever met the X-men? JONATHAN No, but Jesse met Gambit once and knocked his cajun ass out. GARY Ever been to the afterlife? JESSE No, but I'm starting to know what Hell feels like. GARY Can I be your sidekick? JESSE & JONATHAN HELL NO! A pause. JESSE & JONATHAN (Pointing at each other) Besides. HE'S my sidekick. JESSE What? Hello? Who's name is first on the opening credits? JONATHAN Liam's. JESSE THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU KNOW IT! GARY HEY! Look! Gary points in front of them, they see a grating on the floor of the duct blocking their way. JESSE Hmm. Must be a vent for a bathroom. JONATHAN Think it'll support our weight if we cross it? JESSE Only one way to find out. Gary, go cross that grate! GARY What? Why me? JESSE If you do, we'll get you in the Defenders. GARY REALLY? Cool! Valkyrie is da bomb! JESSE Yeah, yeah. Shut up and cross the grate. Gary walks ahead. JONATHAN (To Jesse) You do know the Defenders aren't real. Right? JESSE The real question is, does HE know they're not real? Gary is standing in the middle of the grate. GARY It's okay! It's safe to walk across! The grate gives way and Gary falls. We hear a splash. Jesse and Jonathan run up to the edge and look down off screen. JESSE Gary! Are you okay? Not that we care… GARY (Off camera) Gah! I'm okay! I landed in the toilet! JESSE (Snickering) Really? Just grab a hold of that Snickers bar floating by you! JONATHAN (Holding back laughter) You need to get your eyes checked, dude. That's no Snickers bar! JESSE (Cracking up) Gary! If you see a black hole, start praying to God. AND DON'T LOOK UP! JONATHAN (laughing hysterically) Should we toss him a life saver or something? JESSE (Laughing so hard he's crying.) No. I think that "Snickers bar" will hold him off as far as candy is concerned! Jesse and Jonathan fall down laughing. INT. A HOTEL ROOM. CLOSE UP: A GRATE TO THE VENTILATION DUCTS. LIAM CHARGE! We hear several people running, we then see Liam, Thad, Bippo and Donner slam into the grate, knocking it down. DONNER (Dusting himself off.) Well, that was fun. Is this Stacy's room? LIAM I'm not sure. I've never looked at a room from this angle. BIPPO (Staring at something off camera) It's not Stacy's room. LIAM How do you know? BIPPO (Still staring off camera) Well, THIS is a big giveaway! Everyone turns to see a pet's water bowl. The name "MR. WINKLES" is emblazoned on it. LIAM Aw… Mr. Winkles! That's such a cute name. It's probably some adorable little kitten! They hear a rustling from the bed behind and above them. A giant pitbull hops off the bed and trots directly in front of them and starts growling. BIPPO Awwwwww……. Can I keep it? ---- ----- ------- ----- ---- COMMERCIAL BREAK -"Read" Maxim! -"Read" Stuff! -"Read" FHM! -"Read" Big 'Uns! ------- ----------- ------------ INT. A HOTEL ROOM. Liam, Thad, Bippo and Donner are face to face with a giant pitbull. LIAM No. Sudden. Movements. DONNER Well, Thad? What are you waiting for? Talk to it! THAD WHAT? I'm getting awfully tired of these… DONNER No, I'm serious! Try talking to it! Maybe your werewolf form lets you speak to dogs! THAD It can't do that! DONNER Have you tried? A pause. THAD Well, here goes nothing… Thad changes into his werewolf form. THAD *Ahem* Woof. Woof woof woof woof. Bark. BIPPO Did it work? The pitbull pauses. It then lurches forward and snatches Donner up and swallows him whole. DONNER GAH! LIAM SWEET JESUS! BIPPO I guess it didn't work! THAD I wouldn't say THAT. Mr. Winkles is about to eat another one of our gang when the door opens and Mr. Winkles runs to the door. Kari Wuhrer is helped in by a crew member who leaves and says nothing. Because he is an extra. KARI Awwwwww. Mr. Winkles! You came to the door! You widdle sweetie! BIPPO Wow! What are the odds, huh? THAD At least she got the dog away from us. LIAM Um, guys? IT JUST ATE DONNER! THAD Oh, he'll be fine! We can just have Jesse or Jonathan fish him out when we find them! LIAM Hmmm. Good point. Kari hops on the bed with Mr. Winkles and pulls out a book to start reading. LIAM See? I don't know why you guys keep insulting her intelligence. She's reading a book! KARI "Not on a boat. Not on a plane. I do not like them Sam-I-Am. I do not like green eggs and ham!" Thad and Bippo look at Liam. LIAM Oh, be quiet! Kari puts the book down and turns on the TV. LIAM There! She's probably going to turn something on like the news or something! KARI (Clapping) YAY! BLUE'S CLUES!!! LIAM (Hanging his head in shame) Oh for god's sakes… (Sniffs the air) You guys smell something? Jesse and Jonathan walk up with a soaking Gary following them wrapped in toilet paper to dry himself off. Jesse and Jonathan are still laughing. LIAM What happened to you, Gary? JESSE (Laughing) He went for a dip! Where's Donner? LIAM You don't want to know. How did you guys find us? JONATHAN Thad marks his territory. It wasn't easy to smell the marks with Stinky, here. Jon nods towards Gary. GARY HEY! JESSE Hey! Is that who I think it is? BIPPO Yup. She went from reading a book to watching TV in under three minutes. I think she has some kind of attention disorder… HEY! A Starburst! Bippo walks off and grabs a Starburst the size of a brick. Kari gets up and stretches. KARI I need a shower! JONATHAN People actually talk like that when they're alone? BIPPO Well, she would keep it to herself, but then she'd get her thoughts confused with all the other voices in her head. JESSE Quiet! This is officially the high point of getting shrunken. We focus on the group as they stare at Kari. A giant bra falls on them as she walks by to the bathroom. JESSE First one to the bathroom is incredibly lucky!!! Everyone makes a break for the bathroom. The door is shut in their faces. JESSE So close, yet so far away… LIAM What else could go wrong? There's a rustling at the door. The door is then broken open as the Alpha and Beta Nerd walk in. The nerds see the group and vice versa. NERDS What are the odds… LIAM & CO. … of THIS happening? LIAM SCATTER! The group splits up as they run several directions. The Nerds hear something yelled out and they see a tiny thunderbolt crash through the window and strike something by the nightstand. The Beta Nerd rushes over to the nightstand to see Dr. Wham standing by one of those pink superballs. DR. WHAM Hi. Howareya! BETA NERD Oh, you REALLY think you're going to be able to stop me with THAT? DR. WHAM Let's see! Dr. Wham punts the ball at super-speed sending it directly into the Beta Nerd's crotch. BETA NERD Owwwwww. ALPHA NERD Why you little… Mr. Winkles runs up to the Alpha Nerd with Thad riding on his back. THAD Sic 'em boy! Mr. Winkles starts biting the Alpha Nerd. The Beta Nerd is staggering around. He leans on a dresser. He looks over to see Liam standing by an open compact case. LIAM Hi! Liam blows as hard as he can sending a pile of dust into the Beta Nerd's face. He starts coughing and sneezing. Meanwhile the Alpha Nerd is fighting off Mr. Winkles. He backs into the table. Bippo is waiting on the table, holding a fork. BIPPO I've been waiting my whole life to say this line. "RAMMING SPEED!" Bippo runs and jams the fork into the Alpha Nerd's butt. ALPHA NERD OW! The Beta Nerd staggers around and points the Shrink-ometer at Liam. BETA NERD I'm going to shrink you into an atom for that! As the Beta Nerd fires, Dr. Wham flies in the way with a mirror. The beam bounces off it and back at the Beta Nerd. BETA NERD Aw crap. The Beta Nerd drops the gun just before the beam strikes him. He opens his eyes to see he's now three inches as well. There's a tap on his shoulder. BETA NERD Okay. I know what's coming. The Beta Nerd turns around and sees the Cosmic Weasel's fist headed towards him. SFX POW! Kari walks out of the bathroom with a towel on. She sees the Alpha Nerd and all the chaos. KARI Oh my god! Who are you? What are all these little people? Oh, god! I'm seeing things! I'm going crazy! I'm going to end up in a sanitarium with Mariah Carey! The Alpha Nerd shakes Mr. Winkles off him and pulls the fork out of his butt. ALPHA NERD You… will… ALL…pay for this! The Cosmic Weasel is standing by the Shrink-ometer. COSMIC WEASEL (To camera) A better man would think before doing something like this! Luckily, I'm not a better man. The Cosmic Weasel kicks the trigger. The blast strikes Kari's towel, shrinking it into nothing. ALPHA NERD (starting to convulse) Uh! Uh! Naked girl! Aaaugh! Kari runs back into the bathroom screaming. Meanwhile, Thad and Bippo are each holding an end of Kari's bra. The Cosmic Weasel and Dr. Wham are each in a "cup" stretching the bra back as far as they can. COSMIC WEASEL Two "fastball specials" coming up! DR. WHAM No pun intended. COSMIC WEASEL Oh, yes there was! They let go and fly forward at superspeeds colliding with the Alpha Nerd's jaw sending him backwards towards the door. At the same time… EXT. OUTSIDE KARI'S HOTEL ROOM. Stacy and Arturo are walking by. Arturo has a hat saying "I "HEART" LA", a Lakers shirt and a map to the stars homes. STACY God, you're such a tourist it's embarrassing. ARTURO Excuse me! I didn't get to see LA a lot without being chased by an army of some bloody missing links! The Alpha Nerd crashes through the door in front of them ARTURO Good lord! STACY Hey! It's that Nerdy guy we fought last year! Wait, he has something on his face. Stacy leans forward and sees The Cosmic Weasel and Dr. Wham standing on the Alpha Nerds nose. COSMIC WEASEL & DR. WHAM (WAVING) HI STACY! Stacy pauses. STACY. Hmmm…This is interesting. Stacy faints. ARTURO Now, who's the embarassment? ---- ----------- ------------- ------- COMMERCIAL BREAK Coming soon to FOX… "WHO WANTS TO MARRY A FANBOY?" 100 eligible women will compete for the chance to marry some kid who can tell the difference between Black Talon and Black Manta! Be there and watch the shame. --------- ----------- --------------- - INT. THE HOTEL HALLWAY The LA police are escorting the Nerds out. The Alpha Nerd is in handcuffs, the Beta Nerd is in a hamster cage. BETA NERD This is ALL your fault! ALPHA NERD Oh, kiss my butt! I didn't force you to tag along! BETA NERD Mom is going to kill us when she finds out! ALPHA NERD Who cares? She always liked you best! Liam, Stacy, Arturo, Jesse and Jonathan walk out of Liam's room. They're all full sized again. They're carrying luggage. STACY So Bootygirl: The Movie has been put on hold? LIAM Yeah. Unfortunately. Kari pulled out of the project. She thinks she's going insane. STACY Hey, where was Gary in that whole fight? LIAM Cowering in her underwear drawer. At least, I think he was cowering. JESSE Thanks for fixing us back to our original sizes. It must have been tough to reconfigure the Shrink ometer. ARTURO I hit the reverse switch on the side of the gun. JONATHAN Apparently not that tough. Kari walks out of the hotel room. Gary walks up to her. GARY Are you okay, baby? KARI No! First my room is broken into! Then I'm attacked by a supervillain and the Keebler elves! Then I'm stripped naked! And now my dog has indegestion! GARY Kari! There's no reason to be scared! I was one of those elves! Kari slaps Gary. KARI How DARE you make fun of my trauma! You patronizing bastard! Kari storms off. Gary follows her, begging for forgiveness. LIAM Well, at least this trip wasn't a total waste. Hey! Where's Thad and Bippo? INT. KARI'S HOTEL ROOM. Thad is sitting in front of Mr. Winkles. They're staring at one another. Bippo walks up. BIPPO Hey. Kari wouldn't let us take Mr. Winkles to the vet to get Donner out? THAD Yup. BIPPO So we're waiting for him to come out the old fashioned way? THAD Yup. BIPPO Donner's going to be pissed, you know. THAD Yup. BIPPO Got the cameras? Thad pulls out two types of cameras. THAD Digital AND video. Mr. Winkles cocks his head. MR. WINKLES Wuff? INT. LAPD HOLDING CELL. The Alpha and Beta Nerd are sitting there. The Beta Nerd is back to normal. BETA NERD You call our lawyer? ALPHA NERD Wolfram and Hart weren't taking our calls. BETA NERD Dammit! NOW how are we going to get out? All of a sudden, the wall is ripped away to reveal The Mysterious Figure. MYSTERIOUS FIGURE Alpha and Beta Nerds… I have use of you. Come with me and… NERDS Okay. MYSTERIOUS FIGURE … What? ALPHA NERD Okay, we'll come with you. MYSTERIOUS FIGURE You don't want to hear why you should join? BETA NERD Not really. Let's just go! MYSTERIOUS FIGURE (Sighs) All right. It's just I put a lot of work into my entrance! ALPHA NERD That's nice. Let's go. MYSTERIOUS FIGURE Fine. Rassum frassum….. They all leave. FADE OUT ROLL CREDITS

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