End of the Circle

THE LIAM SMITH SHOW
Episode 3.38 - "The End of the Circle"
Written by Jason Gaston

BILL CLINTON Hi, I'm Bill Clinton. Here's what's already happened on THE LIAM SMITH SHOW! -------------------------------------------------------------- Liam turns and runs for the door. The scene slows to a crawl as he reaches for the doorknob. Just inches from it, there is a loud explosion and everything washes out into a brilliant white. -------------------------------------------------------------- EXT. UPDA CREEK APARTMENTS Upda Creek Apartments EXPLODES in a great fireball. -------------------------------------------------------------- EXT. UPDA CREEK APARTMENTS Thad, Tempus, and Chocolate Treat are standing in front of the ruins of the apartments following the explosion when Liam's burned corpse falls out of the sky. Tempus takes a pulse causing the head to fall off and roll down the street. TEMPUS I... don't think he's going to pull through. -------------------------------------------------------------- INT. CAPTAIN SPAZ'S INVISIBLE ROCKET - IN SPACE NIGHTFLYER It just opened it's eye. CAPTAIN SPAZ What? Captain Spaz looks up and his jaw drops in astonishment. EXT. SPACE We see Captain Spaz, Colossal Chunk, and Nightflyer standing in the transparent Rocket-ship from a distance of about a hundred feet. The background is awash bright blood red. EXT. SPACE An even wider shot. The earth appears in the foreground. Behind it, two ENORMOUS RED EYES glares down on the planet, each one as large as the world itself. -------------------------------------------------------------- INT. EAST LEE S. CAPABLE PRISION Capeman and Ultrawoman are talking to the prisoner, QUASAR. ULTRAWOMAN A full pardon. QUASAR What's the catch? ULTRAWOMAN Just the little matter of you helping the world's largest metahuman army fend off the most dangerous threat this planet's ever witnessed. -------------------------------------------------------------- INT. TOYS 'R' US Thad and Drew are talking. DREW Bippo has been taken to Hell to serve Satan! THAD What? Why? DREW Satan offered Bippo a position where he could make as much consequence-free mischief as he wanted and Bippo accepted. The master knew nothing would hurt Liam Smith more than having one of his dearest friends turn against him. True, since Liam is now a member of the dearly departed that's a moot point, but you must admit, the irony is still delicious. THAD Drew, I don't have time to fight you right now. DREW Who said anything about fighting you, Fido? I'm not just going to kick your ass this time, Thad, I'm going to KILL you! -------------------------------------------------------------- Various scenes of Werewolf Thad and Drew fighting. -------------------------------------------------------------- EXT. KANSAS A light appears from the sky and, from it, MILLIONS OF PARADEMONS - grotesque demon like shock troops - begin to fall from the sky like rain. TANKS erupt from the ground. The Parademons man the tanks and begin advancing. The camera zooms in on Capeman and his army of EVERY SINGLE SUPERHERO IN THE WORLD. CAPEMAN Justice Squad International... ONWARD!!! -------------------------------------------------------------- INT. TOYS 'R' US Drew is strangling Werewolf Thad on the floor of the toy store. Werewolf Thad's free hand finds something. Quickly he brings it around and CRUNCH! Drew's eyes go wide and he coughs. Drew appears totally stunned. He looks down and sees a jagged piece of wood sticking through his chest with the words "LITTLE SLUGGER" stenciled across it. Drew releases Thad who gasps for air and scrambles away. DREW Ah... Ow. Drew falls foreword dead. The body crumbles to dust. Werewolf Thad looks around until it looks like he remembers something. He reaches down and picks up Drew's trenchcoat scattering dust all over the place. He reaches into the pocket and pulls out Drew's HELL TIMER. WEREWOLF THAD Hell, huh? All right, Hell, get ready 'cause I'm coming on down! Bippo... I'm coming to save you, buddy!!! Werewolf Thad runs and leaps into the wormhole. It snaps shut leaving the patrons of the toy store looking on in shock. MUSIC STING FADE OUT: -------------------------------------------------------------- BILL CLINTON And now the continuation... FADE IN: EXT. KANSAS - WIDE SHOT The Kansas flatlands are alive with the sights and sounds of battle. Thousands of superheroes are fighting tens of thousands of parademons. Above them all, the red eyes of the WORLDKILLER stare down. EXT. THE BATTLE CAPTAIN SPAZ is running away from thirty some-odd parademons. FANBOY (who is, as we all know, GARY THE FANBOY in a superhero costume) runs up next to him also being pursued by dozens of parademons. They continue to run during the following conversation. CAPTAIN SPAZ Hi, I'm Captain Spaz. FANBOY I'm Ga... I mean, I'm FANBOY! CAPTAIN SPAZ New to this, huh? FANBOY Yeah, I just started today. CAPTAIN SPAZ Cool. Head. FANBOY What? Suddenly, the severed head of DECOY XXVII falls in Fanboy's arms. He screams and tosses it aside. FANBOY This isn't nearly as fun as I thought it would be! This is supposed to be like Space Camp or the Star Trek Experience! CAPTAIN SPAZ I cause muscle cramps. What do you do? FANBOY I can name every incidental character that ever appeared in The Lord of the Rings saga, the Hitchhikers guide, the Star Wars or Star Trek universe, Dragonball Z, Gundamn Wing, Battlestar... Captain Spaz is laughing. CAPTAIN SPAZ No, really... what DO you do? Duck. FANBOY What? Captain Spaz pulls Fanboy to the ground as BLUE FAIRY, CAPEMAN, and BAHAMA MON zoom overhead and vaporize the attacking parademons with their various energy beams. They hover overhead for a second and look down at Captain Spaz and Fanboy. CAPEMAN Captain Spaz, go home. You're in the way and take Fan-bitch with you. CAPTAIN SPAZ But I want to help! CAPEMAN Then make a donation to the red cross and make yourself useful for once! Blue Fairy, Bahama Mon, and Capeman fly off. The camera now follows them. BLUE FAIRY You're too hard on him. CAPEMAN Look, talk to me about being sensitive when we're not fighting an army of evil demons, okay? Off in the distance, ULTRAWOMAN is flying through and exploding several parademon flying machines. On the surface, however, the demons have set up a GIANT CANNON and have aimed it at her and are about to fire. CAPEMAN What the...!? ULTRAWOMAN, LOOK OUT! The cannon fires. Capeman flies in front of Ultrawoman and takes the brunt of the blast. The heroes on the ground shield their eyes from the massive bright light. The light finally fades and ULTRAWOMAN looks around. ULTRAWOMAN Capeman? Where did you...? (she looks down) Oh no. There on the ground, surrounded by dozens of superheroes, Capeman lies on the ground a bruised and bloody mess clearly on the verge of death. MUSIC STING FADE OUT: --------------------------------------------------------------

THEME SEQUENCE
(PARODY OF THE 5th SEASON OPENING OF BABYLON 5)

A giant 1999 races into the background as various scenes from 1999 are shown with the following quotes.

DONNER:: WELCOME TO LAS VEGAS!

FLUFFY: I hated being your pet, Liam... and I HATE YOU!

LIAM: LIAM It's Thad! Thad's the werewolf!

A giant 2000 races into the background.

SATAN: Death to Liam Smith! No one who embarrasses the prince of darkness will live to brag about it!

GOD:: You, my son, have a destiny.

HARRY: I can't believe Mister Hilter is dead.

ARTURO: Professor Maximillion Arturo, professor of cosmology and ontology

A giant 2001 races into the background.

HARRY: Of course... I understand. I understand... everything!

CAPTAIN SPAZ: I said it's just us! You know, a squad of superheroes.

LIAM: I've been told by a very good source that something called Worldkiller is coming.

LIAM: I'm about to get married to the girl of my dreams only to find out she's my sister!

ELVIS: I'm home...

A giant 2002 races into the background.

DONNER:When it comes down to it, Capeman was the only thing that made me a worthwhile human being.

BIPPO: MY BALLS ITCH!

Cue music and opening credits --------------------------------------------------------------

THE LIAM SMITH SHOW

Starring

John Rhys-Davies
as
"Professor Arturo"

Seann William Scott
as
"Thad Coffey"

and
Robert Floyd
as
"Bippo the Clown"

Also Starring

Neil Patrick Harris
as
"Gary the Fanboy"

Cameron Diaz
as
"Stacy VaVoom"

Gary Dordan
as
"Tempus"

RuPaul
as
"Chocolate Treat"

Betty White
as
"Doris Winchester"

David Peckinpah
as
"Satan"

Marina Sirtis
as
"Senestra Malevolous"

Scrappy Doo

Fameka Jansen
as
"Ultrawoman"

DJ Qualls
as
"Captain Spaz"

Tim Meadows
as
"Nightflyer"

Harvey Firestien
as
"Blue Fairy"

Jack Black
as
"Doctor Wham"

Jason Lee
as
"Cosmic Weasel"

and
Gold Medalist in Figure Skating, Jason Gaston
as
"Donner"

Special Guest Stars

Joan Rivers
as
the voice of
"S.U.I.T."

Michael Dorn
as
the voice of
"Fluffy the Hamster"

and
Seth Green
as
"Quasar"

Warning: The following episode has been hyped for three years. In case of severe and inevitable dissapointment, consult a physician.

FADE IN: INT. HELL BIPPO THE CLOWN is wandering around SATAN'S THRONEROOM looking a little bored. He sighs loudly trying to get the attention of SATAN, SCRAPPY, and SENESTRA. He sighs again and SATAN finally looks up. SATAN I told you all ready, Bippo, you can start causing mischief as soon as we subdue the world. BIPPO (whining) But I want to start causing mischief now! I can see it now, a gigantic smiley face across the planet from South America to Asia minor! I'll turn cows into man eaters I'll kill Carrot Top and then resurrect him again just to annoy everyone! I'll... There is a rumble of thunder and the DARK FIGURE WORLDKILLER appears from out of the shadows. WORLDKILLER The battle goes well, my allies. Capeman has been felled. Satan gets up. SATAN Excuse me. Satan quickly heads for the door. WORLDKILLER Is there a problem? SENESTRA Oh, he's a little touchy since Kathy Hilter got killed. WORLDKILLER Well, one cannot have a war without casualties. I doubt that she will be the... BIPPO Hey, you look familiar WORLDKILLER I have never seen you in my... BIPPO No, no... I never forget a face. I've SEEN you before. SCRAPPY Go away fool, before he... BIPPO (snaps fingers) Of COURSE! You're what's-his-face! Fluffy the Hamster, aren't you? WORLDKILLER I... (a beat) Hell. Worldkiller morphs into FLUFFY THE HAMSTER. SENESTRA What the...? SCRAPPY You mean to tell me that we've been doing the bidding of a f*cking hamster? Fluffy looks at Scrappy who is knocked back by an unseen force. He hits a wall and falls to the ground. SENESTRA Just for the record, I have no problem doing the bidding of a f*cking hamster. FLUFFY THE HAMSTER An excellent answer, my dear. Satan walks back in. SATAN Good, I thought he'd never leave. I... Satan sees Fluffy and stops. His mouth twitches and he starts back to the door. FLUFFY THE HAMSTER NOT so fast! Satan stops. SATAN Hmm? FLUFFY THE HAMSTER You've been avoiding me for months! It's me! Fluffy! I'm the Worldkiller! Fluffy the Hamster - your former right hand rodent - is back! Satan's mouth twitches again. He smiles. SATAN Fluffy! I didn't see you there! FLUFFY THE HAMSTER (crosses paws) Like fun you didn't. BIPPO So, what's with the Worldkiller thing, Fluffster? How did a satanic hamster become the driving force of universal evil? FLUFFY THE HAMSTER None of your business, Bozo! We have work to do and... SATAN Someone's here! SCRAPPY Well, no KIDDING someone is here. I'm here, you're here, Senestra's here, Bippo's here, Fluffy's he- Another look from Fluffy sends Scrappy into the wall. SATAN I mean someone is in Hell who isn't supposed to be. We have an intruder. Scrappy picks himself up. SCRAPPY I'll deal with whoever it is. SATAN No. I'll deal with this... personally. Satan heads out the door. Everyone looks at Fluffy. BIPPO So, Fluffy, what's new? FLUFFY THE HAMSTER I am a supreme force of evil and I've finally killed my hated former owner. BIPPO That's great! I can burp the national anthem! Bippo starts burping the national anthem. Fluffy isn't amused. INT. HELL WEREWOLF THAD makes his way along the stalagmites and rocky outcropping. He jumps across an opening and hides behind a giant boulder as a demon garrison marches by. Next, he does a backflip and lands behind another boulder. Finally, he does a triple somersault and lands behind a massive red object. WEREWOLF THAD Damn, I rock. SATAN I think you mispronounced the word "suck". Werewolf Thad looks up and sees that the massive red object he's hiding behind is SATAN. WEREWOLF THAD GAH! Not to worry! I came prepared for this! Werewolf Thad pulls out a chunk of green glowing rock. WEREWOLF THAD HAH! Kryptonite! Do you feel yourself getting weaker, Satan? Weeeeeeaker? SATAN No, because that is Superman's weakness. WEREWOLF THAD Oh. Werewolf Thad takes out a yellow shield. WEREWOLF THAD Lookie here, devil boy! I'm completely safe now because I'm hiding behind this yellow shield and YOU know and I know that your powers can't affect anything that's yellow! Satan sighs and proceeds to vaporize the shield. Werewolf Thad stands up and clears his throat uncomfortably before producing a bucket of water and dousing the devil with it. WEREWOLF THAD HA! WATER! Are you MELTING? MELTING! MELTING! SATAN (pissed, through teeth) That's the WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST! WEREWOLF THAD Really? Well then, what's you weakness? SATAN Don't tell anyone, but I've always been partial to banana nut bread. WEREWOLF THAD Damn, I didn't bring any. Satan grabs Werewolf Thad by the arm and pulls him down the corridor. WEREWOLF THAD But, but... let's say I DID have a piece of coconut bread, do you think that would... SATAN Nah, gives me the trots. Satan drags him out of sight. EXT. THE KANSAS BATTLEFIELD SIEGFRIED AND ROY join the fight with their white tigers. SIEGFIRED Kill zee parademons, my precious kitties! Kill zem! The white tigers leap at the parademons and begin mauling them fiercely. Siegfried and Roy applaud. ROY I am so proud of our babies! Roy begins to weep. Seigfried comforts him. EXT. THE KANSAS BATTLEFIELD Blue Fairy erects a GIANT BLUE WALL around the fallen Capeman to keep the parademons out. ULTRAWOMAN kneels beside him and rests his head on her knee. Capeman coughs in pain. Blue Fairy turns and says something to QUASAR. BLUE FAIRY (to Quasar) You got it? QUASAR I got it. BLUE FAIRY Then go get it. Quasar takes off. QUASAR Be back in a minute. BLUE FAIRY Hurry! Quasar flies off to the horizon and out of sight. Blue Fairy walks over and bends over. BLUE FAIRY Try to hang on, Capeman. Quasar's off to go get the purple ray and... CAPEMAN BF, leave... (cough) Leave me and Ultrawoman alone for a second. Blue Fairy nods and walks off. ULTRAWOMAN You saved my life. CAPEMAN And now, you have to save mine. ULTRAWOMAN How? CAPEMAN You know... You know how. Ultrawoman understands. She gently places his head back on the ground and takes off into the air and out of sight. Blue Fairy watches her go. BLUE FAIRY Where the heck is she going? BLAM! The parademons begin firing weapons at the Blue Wall making it crumble. BLUE FAIRY CRIPES! (to communicator) This is Blue Fairy! The parademons and breaking down my protective wall around Capeman! We need reinforcements ASAP! EXT. ANOTHER PART OF THE BATTLEFIELD Nightflyer is doing some kung-fu on some demons as COLOSSAL CHUNK does some whooping up of his own. The arms, legs, and severed head of TOILET-MAN & BIDET fly by the camera. NIGHTFLYER (to communicator) We're taking some heavy casualties here! It's like the superheroes have given up since Capeman was shot down! Give us ten minutes and we can make it there! INT. THE BLUE WALL BLUE FAIRY We don't HAVE ten minutes! Unless we get reinforcements now, we're dead! EXT. THE KANSAS BATTLEFIELD On top of a far-off hill, a lone figure appears. EXT. THE BATTLE Several heroes look up at the figure. EXT. THE BATTLE Parademons take notice of the new arrival. EXT. THE KANSAS BATTLEFIELD A closer shot, we now see that it's DORIS standing on top of the hill. Her hair blowing in the wind. There is an eerie silence. EXT. THE BATTLE Two parademons look at each other and speak in a gibberish. Subtitles appear. PARADEMON #1 (subtitled) Who is $&% is that? Another one of those costumed #^*'s? PARADEMON #2 (subtitled) It's just an old woman. What harm could she do? When we're done with these ^#W&-ing wankers in the capes, let's eat her. PARADEMON #1 (subtitled) Okay! EXT. THE KANSAS BATTLEFIELD Doris puts her fingers to her mouth and whistles loudly. DORIS Boys, SIC 'EM! Music blares as THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of BROTHERHOOD WEREWOLVES appear on the hill and run full steam into the battle. They begin attacking, killing, and eating the parademons alongside the superheros. Doris remains on top of the hill with a single werewolf. DORIS I knew you brotherhood boys would come in handy one of these days. WEREWOLF And this beats doing community theatre any day, ma'am! You're the best Alpha Male we've ever had! The werewolf runs off to join the battle. DORIS (blinks) I'm not sure how I should take that. INT. SATAN'S THRONEROOM Werewolf Thad is thrown on the ground as Satan enters. BIPPO, SCRAPPY, SENESTRA, and FLUFFY THE HAMSTER are all there. SATAN (to Senestra) Recognize him? SENESTRA (nonchalant) Vaguely. WEREWOLF THAD Bippo! BIPPO Hey Thad, what's shaken? WEREWOLF THAD My spinal column! I'm here to save you, you jackass! BIPPO (doesn't have a clue) From... what? Werewolf Thad looks at Satan, then at Fluffy, then at Scrappy, then at Senestra, then at Bippo. WEREWOLF THAD WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "FROM WHAT!?" SATAN Bippo came here of his own free accord. WEREWOLF THAD I refuse to believe... BIPPO S'all true! Werewolf Thad looks back at Bippo in shock as he picks himself off the floor. WEREWOLF THAD What do you MEAN it's all true!? You're down here buddying up to SATAN! THE DEVIL! BEELZEBUB! THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS! LUCIFER! BIPPO Those are his names, dude. Don't wear them out. WEREWOLF THAD (exasperated) Bippo... for God's sake, he KILLED Liam! He blew him away! BIPPO Hey, I don't live in the past, shag man! Satan there promised me the opportunity to give a wedgie to the entire world and that's a deal I can't pass up! I'm a clown, so sue me! WEREWOLF THAD God, I'm having the worse time trying to reason with friends lately. FLUFFY THE HAMSTER We are wasting time, Satan! Destroy him! SATAN No, I have a better idea. First, let's get rid of this animalistic veneer. Satan waves his hand transforming Werewolf Thad into regular Thad. THAD Uh-oh. I don't like where this is heading. SATAN Bippo, how loyal are you to me? BIPPO I'd say I'm in the upper percentile. SATAN Wonderful. What's say we put that to the test. INT. THE BLUE WALL Outside, the battle between superheroes and werewolves against parademons continue as Ultrawoman flies inside the blue wall with Donner draped over her shoulder. She sets down on the ground. ULTRAWOMAN Thank you for coming, Donner. Donner is staring at Ultrawoman's butt. DONNER No, thank YOU. Ultrawoman puts Donner on the ground. ULTRAWOMAN He's over here. Ultrawoman leads Donner to where Capeman is lying in a Blue Fairy-concocted bed. Donner walks up cautiously to him. DONNER CM? CAPEMAN Hey, Don. DONNER Wow... I never thought I'd ever see this. You actually wanting to see me. I mean, you told me once that if we were alone together one of us was going to die! It really had me worried for a- CAPEMAN Ultrawoman, leave us alone for a minute. Ultrawoman nods and walks off. Donne stands there with a look of utter fear on his face frozen. CAPEMAN Relax, Donner... you're not the one who's going to die. I am. DONNER What? You can't die! You're Capeman! CAPEMAN There is a "man" in my name, Donner and that man is as mortal at anyone else. A beat. DONNER Is... there anything I can do? CAPEMAN Thought you'd never ask. Heat beams leap out from Capeman's eyes and strikes Donner on the top of his hand. DONNER OW! SON OF A...! CAPEMAN Sorry. Involuntary reaction. I'm loosing control of my powers. DONNER Well do me a favor and don't look at my package! Ever! And I mean that! CAPEMAN Donner, I think it's time that I came clean with you. DONNER You mean you ARE gay? CAPEMAN No, I'm not gay. DONNER HAH! Cosmic Weasel and Doctor Wham is! I knew it! CAPEMAN No... well, maybe. I don't know. Donner, please listen. COSMIC WEASLE (O.C.) Hey, SHUT UP! DONNER What? CAPEMAN I want to tell you who I am. DONNER Capeman, I KNOW who you are. CAPEMAN You do? DONNER I've ALWAYS known who you are. CAPEMAN You have? DONNER Yeah, you're Liam, aren't you? CAPEMAN What? DONNER You're ARE Liam! I knew it! It was so obvious! I mean, no one's seen him since the apartments went ka-boom and-- CAPEMAN DONNER, SHUT UP! DONNER Okay Liam. CAPEMAN I'm... Well, there's no other way of putting it. I'm you. DONNER Me? CAPEMAN No, you. DONNER Bullsh*t. If you're me, then why am I here and not there? Capeman takes off one of his gloves revealing a circular burn scar. Donner looks down at his own hand that has the exact shaped wound on it. CAPEMAN I got that when I was sitting where you are now when I was talking to me, who was dying. That was five years ago for me. DONNER Me confused. CAPEMAN Donner, I am you... I'm you five years in the future. DONNER Hold... No, no... No, you are NOT me! CAPEMAN I am you... and now I need you to become me. DONNER Become you? CAPEMAN The Gamma-tron device you and Doctor Stein invented a few months back. It's what gave me my powers and what will give you yours. DONNER But it doesn't work! CAPEMAN It will. DONNER It liquified the last guy who tried to use it! CAPEMAN Time travel is the key. It will stabilize your genetic structure. DONNER But I don't want to! CAPEMAN You have to! DONNER No I don't! I have a note! CAPEMAN Donner! DONNER B-But, you're supposed to be from the Planet Krapton! I mean, I saw the Capeman movie and... CAPEMAN It was all a lie. DONNER The movie? But it won sixteen Oscars! CAPEMAN It was made up. DONNER It was on David Manning's top ten of the 20th century! CAPEMAN It was bull! DONNER But it explained EVERYTHING! CAPEMAN THE MOVIE WAS HORSESH*T!!! Capeman starts coughing in lots of pain. Ultrawoman runs over and tries to comfort him. CAPEMAN Giving myself powers and sending myself to the past gave me amnesia. My memories only started to resurface last year. Capeman groans. DONNER Capeman... I... CAPEMAN You know what you have to do! Capeman slumps. He's dead. Donner backs off. Ultrawoman shoves a package in Donner's hands. ULTRAWOMAN (to Bahama Mon, re: Donner) Merv, take him to Las Vegas! Now! BAHAMA MON Yah, mon! DONNER But I... Bahama Mon grabs Donner and takes off. Ultrawoman walks over and starts CPR on Capeman. ULTRAWOMAN Come on, dammit! COME ON! Blue Fairy, DO SOMETHING! BLUE FAIRY My wand can't bring anyone back. I'm sorry. Ultrawoman continues to try to get Capeman's heart going again. EXT. DONCO INDUSTRIES: LAS VEGAS Bahama Mon sits Donner down in front of the abandoned building. In addition to the package that Ultrawoman gave him, Donner is holding something under his arm. BAHAMA MON Gotta get back to the battle, mon. You be safe now, hear? DONNER Sure. Bahama Mon flies off leaving Donner in front of the building. He climbs the fence, past the sign that says "OUT OF BUSINESS" and makes his way inside. INT. AN OFFICE Donner picks up a phone and dials. He waits and waits and waits as it rings. INT. A STORAGE SHED Stacy is sleeping on the floor as Arturo watches over her. He cell phone rings and he answers. ARTURO Hello? INTERCUT DONNER Professor, it's Donner. ARTURO I see. What hole have you crawled in today? DONNER Professor, I need some advice. ARTURO You do, eh? DONNER I just... found out who Capeman is. And... he's me. ARTURO But I could have SWORN Capeman was Chocolate Treat! DONNER What do you mean Chocolate Treat? And let's get back on the subject, okay? ARTURO So, you're Capeman. DONNER Yeah, apparently I'm supposed to go back five years in time and assume Capeman's place. ARTURO How the hell are you going to go back five years? Donner looks at the thing under his arms. It's Liam's time traveling VCR burned from the explosion. DONNER I have that covered. ARTURO Then, what's the problem. Donner is clearly upset. DONNER Professor, I just watched Capeman die today. ARTURO (a beat) I see. DONNER So if I go back and become him, it's a death sentence! Arturo considers this. ARTURO And... if there is no Capeman? DONNER What? ARTURO What would happen if there was no Capeman? More than likely, the world would be dead ten times over. DONNER Oh. ARTURO Donner, you may be an egotistical jackass, but since you lost your fortune, you've seen that life isn't all about money and power. If you go back and assume your rightful place as Capeman... then you would have completed the circle and saved us all. DONNER But for how long? ARTURO Doesn't matter. We may die now or twenty years from now... who can say? But at least you will have given us a chance. Donner is silent for a minute. DONNER Professor? ARTURO Yes? DONNER Do me a favor and tell everyone that I'm sorry for every mean and nasty and doublehanded thing I've ever done to them. ARTURO That would take a year. DONNER I know I can trust you to do it, professor. And, professor? ARTURO Yes? DONNER Thank you. Donner hangs up. INT. AN ABANDONED LAB Donner has restarted the Gammatron and has fired it up. The brilliant white light on the platform flares. Donner stands in front of it wearing a Capeman costume. It sags off his body as if it three sizes too big for him. DONNER (silently to himself) Man, this sucks. Donner shuts his eyes and steps onto the platform. The white light envelops him and obscures him from view. After a few seconds, he falls out onto the platform and crawls across the floor. It's is CAPEMAN as we all know him. Muscles fill out the once-sagging costume. Going solely on instinct, he gets to the VCR and drags it down on the floor with him. He hits rewind and VANISHES in a flash. FADE TO: EXT. LAS VEGAS Subtitle: 1997 Inside an alley, CAPEMAN steps out. His body is smoking and he looks dazed. He drops the VCR - which has apparently burned out - and it breaks against the sidewalk. CAPEMAN makes his way down the street past a male gigolo that we recognize as YOUNGER DONNER who snorts at the new arrival. YOUNGER DONNER Hey, what's with the cape, man? Donner slowly turns and looks at him. CAPEMAN Cape... man? The camera is focused on Capeman's masked face as the picture fades in a match cut to: INT. THE BLUE WALL A close up of Capeman's face as Ultrawoman continues to beat his chest trying to revive him. ULTRAWOMAN All right, EVERYONE GET BACK! Electricity begins swirling around Ultrawoman's hands. She puts them on Capeman's chest and - acting like a defibrillator - she shocks him. Blue Fairy checks his heart with a stethoscope. He shakes his head. ULTRAWOMAN Again! Ultrawoman does the same thing trying to revive Capeman. Suddenly, QUASAR appears with some strange devise in his hand. QUASAR I'm back! Holy crap, is he dead? Blue Fairy races over and grabs the devise. ULTRAWOMAN The purple ray! Is it too late? BLUE FAIRY Let's pray it's not. Blue Fairy activates the purple ray bathing Capeman in it's healing light. BLUE FAIRY Keep doing CPR. It may help. Ultrawoman continues to give CPR as the other heroes watch. A few of them have tears in their eyes. Ultrawoman begins giving Capeman mouth to mouth. Just when everything seems hopeless, Capeman's hand comes up, grabbing Ultrawoman and holding her in a kiss. Ultrawoman jumps up and we see a smiling Capeman. CAPEMAN I saw that in a titty movie once and always wanted to try it. ULTRAWOMAN (to Blue Fairy) Is he healed? Blue Fairy checks with his magic wand. BLUE FAIRY Fit as a fiddle. ULTRAWOMAN Good. Ultrawoman picks Capeman up and punches him sending him flying into the blue wall. Capeman rubs his jaw. CAPEMAN Yeowch. That hurt. (a beat) Wait a minute... that HURT! THAT ACTUALLY HURT! I'M ALIVE! ULTRAWOMAN You're alive and you're an ASSHOLE! CAPEMAN (silently) Donner went back? ULTRAWOMAN Yes, he went back and... CAPEMAN And formed a partnership with his younger self, but since he gets amnesia, he doesn't remember, but... (a beat) I do. I remember everything! ULTRAWOMAN The purple ray must have repaired your memory too. So, tell me Donner... what happens next? Capeman removes his mask for Ultrawoman revealing that he is indeed, an older version of Donner. CAPEMAN From this point on, sweetheart? I don't have a clue. Capeman puts the mask back on. CAPEMAN And please, call me Capeman. He turns to the others. CAPEMAN (to everyone) We've still got a battle to win and, trust me, we are going to WIN THIS BITCH! ARE YOU WITH ME! All the heroes cheer as Blue Fairy lets down the wall and the superheroes and werewolves rejoin the fight with new vigor. INT. SATAN'S THRONEROOM An arena has been set up that makes the room look a lot like the arena from Star Trek's "The Gamesters of Triskelton". On one side, Bippo has a sword made of silver while on the other, Thad has a battle axe. SATAN, SENSTRA, FLUFFY, and SCRAPPY watch from above. SCRAPPY (to Senestra) I wager twenty drulocks on the newcomer. FLUFFY THE HAMSTER This is a waste of time. SATAN Oh come now, Fluffy. You hate Liam Smith as much as I do. FLUFFY THE HAMSTER Liam Smith is dead. SATAN True, but I find an effective way of hurting someone beyond the grave is to tarnish their memory and what better way of doing that than turning two friends of his against each other. Satan stands. SATAN Bippo the Clown and Thad Coffey. You are now required to fight each other to the death. THAD What? Never! I'm not going to kill my best friend! BIPPO Good! That'll make me killing you a WHOLE lot easier! Bippo leaps at Thad who jumps out of the way. THAD Bippo! What the HELL is a matter with you! Are you CRAZY! BIPPO DUH! Newsflash, Snoop Dogg! I've always been crazy! Bippo brings his sword down, but Thad blocks it with his axe. BIPPO Why should I fight it anymore? Why should I bother to fit in with you sane folk when I should be doing what I was meant for? Spreading insanity and anarchy! Bippo kicks Thad's feet out from underneath him. Thad rolls out of the way and runs to the other side of the ring. THAD Bippo, STOP! I'm your friend! BIPPO Yeah, and how could you top an irony of a friend killing a friend!? Nothing personal, wolf boy, but I do want to impress the big boss up there. THAD You're NUTS! Bippo smacks Thad in the face with the butt of the sword sending Thad down to the mat. He stands over him with the top of the sword under Thad's chin. THAD (a beat) Well, what are you waiting for? BIPPO (whispers) Quiet, idiot! I've got a plan to get out of here. Thad stares at him. THAD (whispers) I shouldn't have doubted you, Bip. BIPPO (whispers) Okay, here's the deal. I've got several bombs planted in this room. One command from me, I explode all these evil creeps and we make a run for it. THAD (whispers) All right, Bippo! Bippo stabs Thad in the chest with the sword. Thad gasps and stares down at the silver blade sticking into his chest. He then looks up at Bippo with a pained expression on his face and a quivering lip that seems to ask, "why?" BIPPO (shrugs) Psyche! Thad dies as a pool of blood begins to spread on the mat. SATAN stands and begins to applaud. Senestra and Scrappy do the same and even Fluffy seems to have taken pleasure from the act. Bippo bows politely. BIPPO Thank you! Thank you! It was nothing, really! Nothing at all! Please, I'll be here all week and be sure to tip your waitress! The camera zeroes in on Thad's dead body as we... FADE OUT: ...TO BE CONTINUED! MICKEY MOUSE Hi Kids! Here's some scenes from the next episode of THE LIAM SMITH SHOW! And remember, kids, YOU MUST OBEY ME!!! -------------------------------------------------------------- INT. SENESTRA MALEVOLOUS' OFFICE Senestra is looking out the window. SENESTRA Look at that! The eyes of evil that look down upon us are actually the beady little bulbous eyes of a satanic hamster. How depressing. She looks at the others. SENESTRA They're laughing at me. They're ALL laughing at me. Especially HIM! -------------------------------------------------------------- EXT. THE STREETS OF LAS VEGAS A BIG FRICKIN' ROBOT with the letters BFR stamped on it tears down the streets of Las Vegas. In it's control tower, SENESTRA MALEVOLOUS is laughing uncontrollably and is obviously quite off her rocker. -------------------------------------------------------------- EXT. THE STREETS OF LAS VEGAS TEMPUS is watching the BIG FRICKIN' ROBOT destroy the city. TEMPUS She deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass and, by God, I'm just the one to do it! -------------------------------------------------------------- TEMPUS It's time to end your tyranny once and for all! I-- WHAM! The BFR swats Tempus like a fly. -------------------------------------------------------------- The BFR begins to crush Tempus in it's metal hand. Tempus struggles to get free, but it's a futile attempt. -------------------------------------------------------------- INT. A CONTROL ROOM FLUFFY THE HAMSTER We fire up the converter and begin devouring the souls of everyone on Earth so that we can use the spiritual energy to fuel the re creation. -------------------------------------------------------------- EXT. SPACE The Worldkiller is floating above the world. A BEAM OF LIGHT erupts from it and hits the surface. MUSIC STING FADE OUT: