Now, I don't actually know how schizophrenics think, not being one myself, and I don't know how girlfriends think, not being one of those either, so this is a V. experimental piece. It may be a bit confusing, but it's sorta supposed to be, as that the character who's voice is telling the story is confused herself. Enjoy...

Schizophrenic Obsession

We're so happy together, Ben and I. This is all I've ever wanted; only sometimes I wake up late at night and I don't quite know why.

I'm not where I should be; not where I belong. I belong with him, not her. That should be me by his side. He just doesn't see it; doesn't feel the pain. He doesn't know, but one day he will. He'll see. I'll make him. I'll help him. He needs my help. Or at least, he will...

I don't understand it. I just don't understand it. He's giving me these looks, only... I'm not sure what for...

It's her. She hates you; hates us. She'll get rid of you; both of us, at the same time. Two birds with one stone the first chance she gets; first chance you give her. Get away from me. Get out of my head. Don't touch me. He loves us. We don't need you. Ben loves us. Leave me alone. Leave me-- I thought I told you to-- WHAT DID I JUST SAY?! Leave me alone! Leave us alone! Get out of here!

Even when I know there's no one else, I can't help the feeling we're being watched. I think he feels it too.

Spit in my face, will you? You can't ignore me forever, you know! I hate you! I HATE YOU!

You don't answer your phone. You don't return my calls. How can we be together if you don't even try? Can't you see... I need you. And you need me. We belong together. It was ment to be. We were ment to be; just like you said when-- Look-- Ben, look at me. Please look at me. ...I can see it in your eyes. You don't remember, do you? ...Or do you just not want to?...

Our chest aches. Our head aches. Our entire being pains us. She won't get out of my mind. It's not fair! Leave me alone! He loves us. Get out of my mind! Get out of my mind! Get out of my mind! Leave me alone! Let me be! We were happy before you! God, just let me be! Leave us alone...

He's avoiding me; I know it. Why doesn't he love me any more? What's wrong with me?...

It makes it feel so much better. Red is such a nice, salty color. ...Wonder why I never noticed before... Just one more. We can stop any time we want. Just one more.

What the hell have I done?...

Don't touch me! Stop... Stop. Stop! Please... Please... Don't do this. I know you don't want to do this...

I'm living in a dream world, or a fog I can never escape. I can vaguely recall going places. My legs hurt so much. I must've been walking.

One more. Just one more.

What am I doing? I'm so confused. I can remember less and less. Why did he leave me? Ben... Why did you leave?...

Please, no more. I'm begging you; it hurts. This won't solve it. Stop! No more... Please...

Help me...

I have to. It's what he wants. We'll get him back. It's all he wants. He doesn't want us; he wants her. All he wants is her...