It was the first snow of the winter; it was beautiful. I walked slowly down the street, past the Victorian homes on my street. The naked trees slowly being kissed by the snow gave the neighborhood that romantic feeling I loved. The snow was unexpected and when it started I knew it was time for a walk. After slipping on a pair of boots and my leather jacket I set out. The snow was about an inch when I left the driveway and past the beautiful church behind our house.
The world looks so different when dressed with snow. Things seemed peaceful and people seemed happy. In one yard there was a group of kids playing; jumping around and trying to catch snowflakes on their tongues. Their grandmother sat on the porch watching them with their mother. Laughter filled the air and the snow continued to fall. I knew that within those old walls was a fire, waiting for the children to file in and warm themselves.
Turning down another street I had my destination set for a small park a few blocks away. Every Fourth of July the park would be crowded with people waiting for the fireworks; if you went there any other day you'd find it empty. It was a little treasure of mine; a place I could go and not be disturbed by family. I went there often to think and just reflect.
My journey today, though, was different. The joy of the sudden snow fall only masked the fact that I was depressed. Usually the sight of snow made my world better but these feelings had haunted me for days. The man I had been seeing for the past three months wasn't able to see me for a month and a half. I wished to see him or to hear from him, but things seemed against it. He said nothing about us never seeing each other again, but the lack of communication only made things worse for me. I was confused on if the relationship was over or if we would still each other after he returned. In fear I decided not to see anyone, just incase that we were still an item.
I raised the hood of my leather jacket and placed it over my raven black hair, the fake black fur tickling my forehead for a moment. I was getting cold and the snow melting into my hair would only help me on with a cold, which was the last thing I needed. For some reason I enjoyed the sight of the white snow sprinkled in my hair; to me it was a simple beauty. There were a few times people commented on it, thinking it was cute. No one really took notice, but I did. It's the little things that I love so much.
The houses slowly gave way to the small park. It was empty, just I had expected. If the snow kept up, though, in a matter of hours there would be children and their parents wandering about. The poor excuse of a park was still something special in this slightly troubled neighborhood. The Victorian houses here still held their ancient beauty, but they were neglected by their owners; they looked nothing like the ones near the Victorian home I lived in.
Idly I moved towards the small swing set. No matter how old I was, I loved swings. When I was a child my siblings and I would see how high we could go and then propel ourselves out of the plastic seats, falling to the ground and laughing all the way. As I got older the swings were there to comfort me as I swung slowly and thought of what ever had happened. They didn't mind if you were there to be joyous or there to cry without someone there to bother you.
I brushed off the snow from one of the swings and took a seat. I kicked my feet over the ground, clearing away the snow to see the grass. A soft smile crossed my face and I rested my head against the chain that held up the swing. Things seemed to be taking a turn for the better already. Still I felt like I could cry, but I couldn't. My tears refused to surface and let me get past this feeling. It would be the only way I could move on with my life.
Staring at the ground before me, I felt my heart sink as I sighed. My mind wandered to the times I spent with him, causing me to think that there might not be a 'we' anymore. I closed my eyes, wishing I could cry even if it was just for a single instant. Their relationship was something I had dreamed of. We never fought and agreed on so many things. He made it a point to make sure I was happy; that I felt like things couldn't be better. He treated me to dinner on many occasions, taking me on a thirty minute drive to get to a restaurant we had in our own city.
Letting my mind wander I slowly forced myself to swing. I leaned with the motions, letting my eyes open slightly to see the snow kissed grass below me. As a child I never saw snow, living in warm states most of my life. When we visited my father's parents we'd come during the winter and there was never a time we didn't see snow. Ever since we moved here my mother and siblings complain about it; still I love it, but I have a tendency to complain as well.
I felt a pair of hands suddenly push the sides of the swing, sending me forwards with a little more force. I let out a scream of surprise and my eyes widened with surprise. Glancing over my head wildly I felt my heart skip a beat. Zane stood behind me, a soft smile on his face as he waved at me and pushed me once more.
"Zane. . . . What are you doing here?" I asked. Those lovely brown eyes watched me as I swung and I felt a familiar emotion rise within me.
"I went to your house to surprise you, but you weren't there." Zane explained. His eyes locked onto mine as I looked at him once more. "You mother said you'd probably be down here. She told me you usually come here to be alone."
"No." I said. I let my feet drag across the ground, causing me to stop suddenly. Slowly I stood and turned to face Zane. "I mean what are you doing here and not working? I thought you wouldn't be able to see me for a while."
Zane smiled softly. He took a step towards me, his hands slipping into his pockets. "Well, I thought I wouldn't but I have a few days for rest. I thought it would be a nice surprise if I dropped by."
I paused, my eyes on Zane's. I felt my cheeks grow warm as I blushed. "You mean we're still a couple." My hands were shaking and I placed them in the pockets of my jacket. For some reason I felt like I could cry so easily now.
"Of course!" Zane replied. He moved pats the swing and closed the gap between us, wrapping his arms around me tenderly. He kissed my forehead softly, catching me off guard. "Did you think that's what I meant?"
All I could do was nod. That familiar feeling wasn't leaving and I finally knew what it was; I was going to cry. I knew if I tried to speak nothing would come out and I would break in to tears.
"Are you okay?" Zane asked, pulling away just enough so he could see my face. He tilted his head to one side. "You're not gonna cry are you?"
Zane knew me too well. I closed my eyes and I felt a tear trickle down my cheek. Zane hugged me tightly and I opened my eyes and I was finally able to cry.
"Don't cry. You know I hate it when you cry." Zane whispered, never letting me go. We stood like that for, what felt like, a lifetime. I couldn't stop crying and he held me until the tears finally stopped. "I love you." he said softly, kissing me just as tenderly. All I could do was kiss him back, wishing that this would never happen again.