It has been drilled often into people, most especially in Western cultures, that a single individual has the power to change the world.  This is a lie.  One individual is blind and deaf to everything in the world but himself.  He can’t affect change because he touches nothing.  Alone, he is powerless.

However, once he connects to family, to friends, to people with shared ideas and beliefs that he finds that center of power.  An individual is nothing more than a symbol; the real power lies in those who believe in his dream.

To be alone is to be weak.  A man cannot keep himself from the people who inhabit this earth and expect to wield power in the world.  One is not only the loneliest number, but the one least able to change his situation or that of those around him.

Part Five: Dark Chocolate

The rest of the night and most of the day went by with no action on the supernatural front, or “super-real,” as Neil had started to say.  He had seemed charmed by the idea of levels of reality and it was all Leon could do to convince him that he was better off in a level where Meek couldn’t get at him.

“But it shouldn’t matter how much he knows,” Neil had tried to argue.  “It’s all about how your mind works, right?  You said Angela couldn’t get back here because she didn’t know this place, which means that what you’re able to do is dependent on you.  If you can think your way around it, you should be fine!”

Leon fought back a surge of sorrow and fear for Angela at the sound of her name.  No news is good news, it’s said, but he wanted to know if she was okay.  He had to know.  It wasn’t fair that she should suffer because of him.

“You don’t get it,” Leon said, irritation warring with weariness in his voice.  “It’s not all ‘in your mind.’  These things are real.  They can hurt you.”

Neil muttered something that Leon didn’t entirely catch, but it sounded something like, “I wouldn’t know, now would I?”

It was late afternoon.  Classes were over for the day and Tim, after a bout of good-natured teasing, had left the two of them alone in his and Leon’s dorm room.  There was a warm, comfortable feeling in the room, helped along by the smell of the banana bread Neil’s mom had brought up in an increasingly rare fit of mothering.  Leon didn’t want to disturb that atmosphere, so he didn’t pressure Neil to repeat what he had said.

“So now what are we going to do?” Neil asked, laying back on Leon’s bed and staring at the ceiling.  Leon watched him silently, unaware that he was pouting.  Neil started laughing at the look on his friend’s face.

“What?” Leon demanded self-consciously.  Neil just shook his head, grinning widely.

The room lapsed into silence again.  There didn’t seem to be anything to say.  It was as if they were being held apart by some invisible line; a line that Meek had drawn in something more enduring than sand.

How can I even say anything? Leon wondered, feeling depression started to sink down on him again.  He wants to talk about the whole reality thing, but that’s the last thing I want to talk about.  He wants to speculate, but I’ve been there!  What am I supposed to say?  What can he say?  What’s left to say?

He could sense that Neil felt left out; like Leon was purposely holding him back out of jealousy or spite or simply because he didn’t trust Neil to handle this.  Leon wondered if Neil understood just how dangerous Meek could be, and how dangerous it was to play around in these things outside of normal reality.

Of course he doesn’t, he thought bitterly.  It wasn’t like I had been attacked by werewolves and scratched up or been so shaken about this shit that I fucking sobbed into his shirt for hours.  Goddamnit, Neil!

“It isn’t a game,” he finally said, frustrated beyond belief.  “He could hurt you and I won’t let him; please, Neil, listen to me!  Trust me, all right?”

“I’m trying,” Neil said softly, staring up at the ceiling again.  “But I’m not going to lie.  It’s difficult, because I don’t understand.  I don’t understand, well, any of this!  And I want to.  I want to help.”

Leon sat down next to him and put his hand on Neil’s belly tentatively, almost afraid that he’d be pushed away.  When Neil just looked at him with sad eyes, he said, “There won’t be a need for help, I swear it.  I’ll make him realize that I don’t- that I won’t ever be anything that he wants me to be.”

Neil laughed and sat up, pushing Leon down on the bed and leaning over him.  “Why would anyone want you to be anything but you?”

Leon didn’t answer, which was all right, since things rapidly progressed beyond coherent speech for a time.

Morning dawned gray and bleak.  Leon stared out the window, having woken up from dreams that were less frightening than uneasy.  He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was brewing.

Of course, when one took Meek’s previous behavior into account, it wouldn’t have been wise to try to shake that feeling.  He stared out the window at the heavy clouds, wondering if it would rain.

Neil muttered something in his sleep.  Leon smiled faintly, having been woken up several times by Neil during the night.  Leon slept like a log but Neil seemed to need to wrestle his dreams, which led to some rather compromising situations in the wee hours of the morning.  Leon had been used as a pillow, as a blanket, and nearly crushed into the wall quite a few times, but he hadn’t complained.  It was nice to be dragged out of the shadows that his subconscious was producing efficiently without making Neil wake up as well.

He sighed, mentally chanting “in with the good spirits, out with the bad” and grinning at his own silliness.  It was helping, though; maybe just because he was being silly in the face of a nightmare.  If he took it entirely seriously, he might just give up.

The odds were all against him.  He simply wasn’t as good at moving through realities as Meek, and he had Neil to protect as well.  I might just end up being a whore to keep Neil safe, Leon thought, picturing himself in one of the skimpy outfits featured in Christina Aguilera’s “Lady Marmalade” video.  That was enough to send him into a fit of giggles, covering his mouth and trying to choke them back to keep from waking Neil.

Too bad I can’t sing, he thought, shaking his head.

“Something amusing?” Meek asked from next to him.

Leon barely kept from flinching.  “What do you want?”

“How many times have you asked me that question?”  Meek turned to sit on the edge of the desk, crossing his legs demurely and looking down at the floor.  “I thought you might like to ask me a few questions.”

Leon backed away to place himself between Meek and Neil, crossing his arms and glaring coldly.  “What would I have to say to you?”

Meek curled his fingers around the edge of the desk and started tapping them in an irregular rhythm.  “How about, ‘what did you do to Angela?’”

Leon’s breath caught.  “You didn’t hurt her.”

Meek sighed.  “She’s gone.  I don’t know where she went.”

“You’re lying.”

Meek’s expression darkened.  “What reason would I have to lie?  I already told you that I planned to make her life a living misery.  She’s gone, Leon.  She got away from me.”

He’s upset, Leon realized.  He sounds… bereft.  Like he can’t believe that she would ever leave him.  Is he fucking insane?

“Good for her,” Leon said coldly.  “I hope she stays far away.  I hope she never comes back.”

Meek looked like he was about to shout at him, but Leon continued, just as harshly, “I hope she never finds herself anywhere near you ever again.  That she can finally be free.  Fuck you!  She got away from you?  She shouldn’t have ever had to get away from anyone!  She should have been happy!”

Meek looked like he had been slapped.  Leon took a deep, surprisingly pure pleasure in that expression, savoring it and hoping to hell that he’d see it again.  She should have been happy, he thought again.  She should have never had her life fucked up by you.

Meek managed to recover, making his expression blank.  “And what would you know of it?  You knew her for how many days?”

“I knew her long enough to know that she was terrified of you,” Leon answered.  “She wanted nothing more than to get away from you.”

Meek looked away, anger and pain rising swiftly in his eyes.  “Do you feel the same way, then?  Do you hate me?”

Leon hesitated.  He wasn’t a cruel person and he could recognize the loneliness and the hurt in Meek’s voice.  He didn’t want to hurt him.  It was a terrifying epiphany.

Meek turned back to him when Leon didn’t answer, his eyes wider but unreadable.  He didn’t wait for Leon to recover; he took that silence as the gift that it was and disappeared.  It seemed that even Meek was afraid of something.

Rejection.  Loneliness.  He’s afraid of being alone and he knows that I know it.  And now he knows that I don’t want to hurt him.  Leon closed his eyes and came close to despairing.  How do I get him to leave me alone, when half the time he’s a fucking psycho and half the time he’s the most vulnerable person I’ve ever known?  Is this what helped drive Angela to the brink?

And it didn’t help to realize that if he did decide to be ruthless and just tell Meek that he hated him, that Meek might lose whatever twisted affection he had for Leon and stop playing “nice.”  Leon knew that Meek could do far more than he had done and that Leon wouldn’t be experienced enough to keep himself or Neil safe.  So it was not only his compassion that was keeping him from ending this game entirely, it was also his practicality.

So I’m screwed any way I go.  Wonderful.

A soft sensation of warmth and light over his face made Leon open his eyes again, looking out the window with awe.  The clouds had cleared over a tiny, tiny area, sending one small shaft of sunlight directly at his window.

“A gift for a gift?” he asked aloud, moving over to the window again and staring up at the gentle golden light.  The game wasn’t over, the war hadn’t been won, but there was still light.  There was still a bit of hope.

Neil rolled over, muttering and pulling the blanket over his head as the light tracked further into the room.  Leon laughed again, feeling joy return.  He’d fight day by day, then, just as he always had.

He smiled into the sunlight and let it sink into his skin for a few more precious moments, until it was covered up again by glowering clouds.  Then he turned to go back to bed, soaking up even more warmth against the coming cold.

He had to fight to get any of the blanket, though.

Wednesday was a rather empty day for Leon, though it was full for Neil.  Leon had two lectures in the morning; Neil had one lecture in the morning, a discussion after that, then a power lecture, then a late discussion section.    Leon had resigned himself to seeing nothing of his friend all day.

Though night might make up for that, he thought with a bit of embarrassment.

His classes were over.  Leon was looking over the notes he’d tried to take in Oceanography and coming up completely blank.  What were they supposed to mean?  Had he been sleeping, or trying to draw the sound of the words the professor had been saying?

He traced the longer lines of ink that scrawled across the page, dipping down and curling in over each other, trying to remember if he had been so bored that he had decided to draw.  As far as he could recall, he had been trying to take decent notes for a change.

“Maybe I’m just going insane,” he said aloud, slamming the notebook shut.  The silence in the room gave indication to neither agreement nor argument and Leon reached for the television, wanting to break the quiet.

He flipped through the channels, not really paying attention to what was on, just searching for something loud and upbeat.  He left it on a Bugs Bunny cartoon and got up to make himself some lunch.

“Soup,” Leon said in disgust, looking through his store of food.  “Tomato soup.  Why does the world hate me so?”

He went still for a moment and then started laughing.  “I’m talking to myself!  I am crazy.”

As he searched for the can opener and a bowl Leon remembered his reflection pulling itself from the mirror, and suppressed a shiver.  Well, there’s a brand new dimension added to the idea of talking to yourself, he thought with a dark amusement.

The cartoon ended with the usual happy Merry Melodies music and Leon danced a little, nodding his head to the music and swaying as he waited for the microwave to beep and finish heating the soup.  The next sounds from the television halted him, though.

“Next week we’ll be handing out the take-home exam,” a professor said amidst the softer sounds of students whispering to each other and moving their books around.  Leon turned slowly, ignoring the cheery ding of the microwave, announcing that the job was done and he could eat.  “These will be due in the beginning of class on the fourteenth of next month.”

The professor was still speaking as Leon walked up to the television and knelt, his face close to the screen.  Pictured was a man he didn’t know, in a lecture hall he didn’t know, but with one face near the middle of the huge class that was very recognizable.

Neil! Leon thought, reaching out to touch the screen.  It was Neil, looking at the professor with a clear expression of boredom as he slouched in his chair, waiting for the man to shut up.  The picture was crystal clear, alike to DVD quality on a six inch screen.

Just as abruptly, the scene was gone, leaving Leon face to face with a collect call Carrot Top commercial.  Leon turned the television off and stood up, staring blindly out the window.

What was that all about? he fretted.  The best thing to do would be to go down to Neil’s class and wait for him.  Except that Leon didn’t know where the class was.  He didn’t even know which class it was.

Neil may have helped Leon with his schedule, but Leon had done no designing of Neil’s.

“Well, this is just lovely,” Leon muttered.  He could call up Dave and ask him if he knew Neil’s schedule, except that that would seem rather stalker-ly and Leon was still very wary of the phone.  He could look in the directory for their hall, which listed which students were in what class, but even as he thought of that possibility he remembered that the directory was organized by class.  He would have to look through the whole thing to find out what class Neil might possibly be in right now.  And Leon didn’t have the patience- Or the time, he suspected- to try that form of action at the moment.

“Why don’t I just run around all over campus screaming Neil’s name?” he said aloud, wincing at the heavy sarcasm in his voice.  This whole situation really wasn’t bringing out the best in him.

The question comes down to what I can do, Leon mused, sitting down on the edge of his bed even as he continued to stare out the window.  I can wait, I can run around like a chicken with my head cut off, or I can go be a stalker.  That is, if Dave’s even home, knows Neil’s schedule, and doesn’t mind helping me become a stalker.  Are there too many if’s in this plan, or is it just me?

He closed his eyes, still wondering how he could find out how Neil was doing, and wasn’t prepared at all when a curtain seemed to draw across his mind and everything went dark.

For a moment-

Rushing wind, a deep silence that wasn’t silence at all, it was noise blending with noise blending with more until it was totally meaningless and covered everything in a blankness that could be mistaken for silence too easily-

And it wasn’t dark; it was gray, like tumbling clouds and black and white altogether in a swirling morass-

And this is what it means to fly beyond your mind, Leon thought with someone else’s memories.

He was dreaming; that much he could tell.  He had probably passed out.  Leon realized, in a dim sort of way, that he was still in his room.  He could feel his body and noticed he’d fallen off the bed and onto the floor.

Well, that isn’t cool, he thought fuzzily.

There was a building.  There were a few trees around it and there was someone in black standing by the window.  No, he was standing on the windowsill, leaning against the side and looking in with mild interest.

Meek.

“What are you doing here?” Meek asked, looking at him with amusement.  It seemed like Leon had just jumped through all that space in a split second.  “You’re getting better at this stuff, aren’t you?”

Leon didn’t know what the hell was going on and found he didn’t have a mouth to say so.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Meek asked conversationally.  He lounged against the wall, tapping the window lightly with his foot.  Leon could see that Neil was the only person in the lecture hall who seemed to hear it; he kept turning to look at the windows with confusion clear from his expression.

“Nothing can touch you, nothing can hurt you,” Meek said musingly.  He grinned in Neil’s direction, although it seemed to Leon that Neil still couldn’t see what was making the tapping sound.  “The only problem being that you can’t touch anything in any reality, right now.”

Leon stared at him and it seemed that Meek could hear the questions that he would have asked, if he could ask questions.

“You can’t do anything but watch and listen,” he clarified.  Leon wondered if Meek could see the sudden worry Leon was feeling written all over his face.

Meek kicked the window with a little more force and Neil looked over, catching sight of Meek.  His eyes widened with astonishment.

Leon tried to get Neil to look at him, moving closer to the window and trying to wave or do something, but Meek started giggling at him.

“You can’t do anything, remember?” Meek asked sweetly.  He waved cheerfully at Neil, making the boy in the room look around furtively to see if anyone else had seen the guy at the window.

Leon tried to punch Meek and felt his fist go through the air, slamming at nothing.  He remembered that he was really in his room right now, sleeping.

Or something like it.  Wait, am I thinking clearly again?

It was starting to get darker.  Meek’s eyes were dancing with laughter.  Too blue.  Too bright.  Leon tried to close his eyes and remembered that they were closed already.

“Going back so soon?” asked a shadow with bright blue eyes.  “Shame.  How will you find him before I get to him?”

Don’t, Leon tried to say, but the noise that was silence was drowning him.  It was all tumbled gray.

“Time to wake up, Leon.”

I fucking hate the sound of his laugh, Leon thought grimly.

And then he woke up.

Leon stared up at the ceiling with wide eyes, unsure as to what had happened.  His sight was still dominated by gray, but it was slowly clearing.

Very slowly.

The light was starting to bother his eyes.  Leon groaned in pain and pushed himself off the floor, turning to slap at the light switches, missing them at first but finally hitting them.  Bringing back the darkness.

Darkness?  Leon looked around, suddenly and completely aware.  It was dark.  The sun was going down.  He grabbed the alarm clock, swearing as he saw its digital face.

7:27, and all’s not well.

Leon reached for the phone to call Neil’s room, but paused as his hand came in contact with the object.  It seemed to be slimy and cold; it reminded him of the blue shit that had come out of the receiver.

“I’ll go down there, then,” he decided, ignoring the fact that he was talking to himself again.  At this rate, the only person I’m going to be able to talk to is me, ‘cause no one else that I want to talk to will understand, he thought bleakly.

He spent a few precious minutes looking for his key and swearing before finally grabbing it and running out.  He waved at a few people who called after him and took the stairs.

His footfalls echoed loudly as he jumped down, moving as quickly as possible.  It was because he was more concerned with speed than care that Leon tripped over the last step, pitching himself forward into the wall of the stairwell.

“Shit!” he yelled, pain lancing through his knee.  He stopped for a moment, gingerly rubbing around his knee cap, sure that it was going to bruise.

“You’re going to be late,” someone said from behind him.  Leon whirled around but saw no one.  He waited for a moment, listening for the sound of footsteps or anything over his own harsh breathing.

There was nothing there; not above him or below.  Leon finally decided to forget it and move on, running slower because of the pain in his knee.

He made it to Neil’s floor and down to his door, wincing and swearing under his breath the whole way.  It really isn’t my day, is it? he thought wryly.

Dave answered the door when Leon rapped quickly, noticing finally that his palms were scratched from the abrupt contact with the wall.

“Leon?  Hey, Neil isn’t here,” Dave said, startling Leon and making him jump.  “Whoah, calm down!”

“Sorry,” Leon said, laughing a little.  “I’m just having a weird day.”

“Well, Neil should probably be getting back from whatever the hell class he’s always bitching about in-“ Dave turned to look at the clock, opening the door a bit more and giving Leon a glimpse of a pretty blond girl who was sitting on the futon, looking innocent and sweet- “twenty minutes, I think.  It takes him a while to get back from the Psychology building.”

“Psychology building,” Leon repeated softly.  “Thanks, Dave.  See you around!”

“Right,” Dave called after him, watching him run for the stairs again.  “Hey, gimp!  What happened?”

“Hit my knee!” Leon yelled as he pushed through the stairway door.  Dave’s reply was lost as the door slammed shut behind him.

He forced himself to walk carefully down the remaining stairs, especially since at the lower floors people tended to use them more often and if Leon fell again it might result in a domino effect.

And then I’ll end up injuring more than just my knee, Leon thought.  He nodded to the few people who walked past him, talking about how much it sucked that people on the upper floors thought that people on the lower floors shouldn’t use the elevators so often.  Leon felt that people on the first five floors should walk their happy asses, especially on days where about twenty people jammed into the elevators from three floors.

The stairs he had taken were the side stairs, so they opened up to the outside.  The cold seemed to slice directly into his bones and Leon hastily zippered his coat, shoving his hands into the pockets and wishing he’d thought to bring gloves.

The wind had picked up since earlier that day and Leon’s ears started to hurt.  He pulled his hood up and lowered his head, walking swiftly.  He should run into Neil in ten minutes or less; if Neil was heading for home.

It was still cloudy; there were no stars and no moon.  Leon kept his face lowered but looked out ahead of him, keeping an eye out for Meek.  Someone had spoken to him in the stairwell, and since Angela was gone, all signs were pointing straight at the black haired kid who had gotten him into this whole mess in the first place.

But why would he say “you’re going to be late?” Leon wondered, his steps slowing a little.  I don’t understand.  Is this a trap?  But he isn’t that… well, hokey.  And come to think of it-

Leon came to a full stop.  His voice isn’t that high, either.  It sounded like a girl’s voice.

“This isn’t the best place to wait for someone,” a woman said next to him.  Leon turned, startled, and looked down a woman dressed in a huge coat, sitting on a bench next to him.  She looked back up at him, unimpressed.  “People walk by on the other side of the street; you never see ‘em.  Too dark over here.  Move it along, kid.”

Leon wanted to ask her how she knew he was waiting for someone, but she was right.  It was dark over here.  Dark enough that Leon couldn’t be exactly sure what was wrong with her shoulders, but it seemed like something else was hunched under her coat behind them.  Her face was strikingly beautiful and her eyes, for all the off-handed unconcern in her voice, were filled with warmth and sympathy.

Leon nodded to her and moved on.

He walked all the way to the Psychology building without encountering Neil.  He looked around, wondering if perhaps he had missed Neil on the way over before dismissing the thought.  He couldn’t have missed him.

Leon watched his breath plume for a minute before entering the building and looking around for a payphone.  Using the phone card his parents had gotten for him and he had never used, Leon called Neil’s room.

“Yeah?” Dave said, sounding annoyed.

“Hey, is Neil back?” Leon asked, wondering what was wrong.

“No.  You want me to have him call you?”

“No, I’m not in my room,” Leon answered.  “Hey, what’s up?  You sound mad.”

“Some asshole keeps calling and doesn’t say anything,” Dave said in disgust.  “And there’s something sticky on the fucking phone.  Neil must’ve spilled soda on it or something.  Inconsiderate bastard.”

“You’re certain it wasn’t you?” Leon teased, despite his sudden suspicion.  Sticky?

“Fuck off,” Dave replied, laughing a little.  “I am the neat one, remember?”

“Yeah, I noticed.  Which pile of shit was your desk, again?  The one with the jeans on top or the one with the textbooks?”

“Bite me.  Hey, I’ve got to go-“

“Didn’t mean to interrupt anything,” Leon said, letting a little bit of a leer into his voice.

“Who says you interrupted?” Dave joked.  “I’ve always enjoyed listening to you talk, Leon, dear.”

“Fuck you,” Leon said, laughing helplessly.

“Anytime.  Talk to you later!”  Dave slammed the phone down and Leon laughed again, slowly hanging up his phone. 

Sticky, he mused again.  Is that blue shit in his phone now, too?

It was a disturbing thought.

There was a sudden shimmer to Leon’s left, out the window, and he turned, staring out into the night.  It hadn’t been so much a shimmer, he realized, than a rippling of darkness.  Something was happening, somewhere nearby.

He ran out the door, barely noticing that the phone had fallen off the hook and was dangling.  He stopped outside the building, looking around for another strange rippling, when someone from the sidewalk called out to him.

“Hey!  The Psychology building closes at 7:30,” a girl shouted to him.  “It’s only open later on weekends.”

“Thanks,” Leon called back after a moment of stunned silence.  Closed?  But I got in there just fine.  Did they forget to lock it?

He turned back and tried the doors, but they were locked.  Leon stared at them in complete perplexity.

The doors were thick glass and as he looked at them, seeing the building hours and knowing for certain that it was closed, the night sky rippled again in reflection.  Leon turned and waited and it happened again.

It was like the clouds would disappear for a second, but rather than revealing stars, the sky behind them was empty and black.  Leon could only think of one reason for something this impossible and frightening happening.

“Meek,” he whispered, forcing himself to keep away from the pronouns.  If he wasn’t going to be afraid of Meek, he would have to refer to him by his name.  He wouldn’t be cowed into thinking Meek was somehow above him.

He started walking towards the rippling of the sky and then broke into a run.  Something was very wrong.  Leon wasn’t the sort who believed in intuition, especially his own, but this feeling was too strong to deny.  Something was unbelievably wrong.

The streets were strangely empty as he ran down to one of the random science halls the surrounded a small, semi-hidden park where students liked to gather and study.  He could hear someone crying out for help and his heart plunged into icy darkness.

Neil.

The park was accessible through a few small walkways and Leon found the one closest to the street, hopping the railing rather than going around.  He ran into a shadow that was backing away from the center of the park.

“Hey!” Meek said, surprised.  He looked up at Leon, who stared at him for a moment before shoving him away and running forward.  Neil was kneeling in the center of the park, his arms crossed over his head and his body huddled into itself.  Leon pulled Neil’s body into his arms, holding him tightly.

“What did you do to him?” Leon screamed at Meek, who had fallen onto one knee and was looking at them with angry eyes and bared teeth.  Neil was whispering something that was too low for Leon to hear and it sounded like he was starting to cry.

“Just what he wanted me to do,” Meek answered, smirking.  He stood up and backed into the shadows again.  “Nothing more, nothing less.”

Before Leon could answer Meek had disappeared.  Leon was left with Neil, all alone in the park, and he didn’t know what to do.

“Neil?” he asked.  “Neil, please talk to me.  Please.”

Neil didn’t answer, though he did press closer to Leon’s body.  Leon pulled him upright and helped him to walk, trying to get them into some kind of light.  Light, warmth, music, and someone to hold you, he thought, remembering Angela’s advice.  I can get those, but we have to get home first.  Please, Neil, be all right.

Please.

Leon couldn’t clearly remember the long walk back to the dorm.  He remembered holding Neil up most of the way, stopping for a long rest in a secluded corner under a light and holding him tightly, singing softly into Neil’s ear, never mind that Leon was almost completely tone deaf.  He remembered what Angela had said, about how being exposed to too much of reality could drive a person insane.

Is that what he tried to do to you, Neil? Leon thought.  It won’t work.  You’re stronger than that and I won’t let you go.  I swear it.

When they got back to the dorm, Leon took them up the side staircase, hoping to avoid, if not everyone, then the majority of people as he alternately dragged, carried, and cajoled Neil up to his dorm room.  With any luck, Tim was out again, or leaving.  Leon just hoped he was gone before they got up there.

The room was, thankfully, empty and Leon praised any listening deities for giving him a roommate who was never there.  He pushed Neil down on the bed and shut and locked the door, turning on all the lights and searching for some music to play.  Neil watched him silently.  It was beginning to freak Leon out.

“Neil?” he said softly, kneeling in front of his stricken friend.  “Hey, are you all right?”

Lame, he thought, but at least it’s something to say.

Neil looked down at Leon’s upturned face and stroked his cheek, smiling slightly.  “You’re sweet, you know that?”

Leon wasn’t reassured.  Neil’s pupils were dilated and his expression was still a little too dreamy.

He covered Neil’s hand with his own and turned to kiss his palm.  “Neil, what did you see?”

Neil’s expression grew darker.  “I don’t want to think about it, Leon.”

“But-“

Leon was interrupted as Neil leaned down and kissed him, holding his face with both hands and slowly sliding down until he was kneeling on the floor, too.  Leon wrapped his arms around Neil tightly.

He pulled away slightly and rested his chin on Neil’s shoulder.  “You have to tell me.  Please, Neil.”

Neil didn’t say anything for a long moment, but just as Leon was about to ask again he sighed and shifted so that he could see Leon’s face.  “Everything was just… spinning past me.  There was nothing I could hold onto.  It was like nothing was really real, nothing was tangible.  Everything was slipping away and that guy was just standing there, watching me with the coldest eyes I’ve ever seen a person have.  They were like chips of ice.  I didn’t know if he hated me or if he didn’t care at all.  And it just kept getting darker and colder and I thought-“

Neil shuddered and was silent.

“What did you think?” Leon asked, his voice breaking.

“I thought I was going to die, and that no one would ever know or care,” Neil finally whispered.

“No,” Leon said, leaning forward to kiss Neil again.  “That would never happen.”

“I can still see it.  The spinning.  Nothing’s anchored to anything.”

“Well, I’m not letting you go,” Leon said, pulling Neil closer to him.  He shut his eyes against tears of pain and anger.  Damn you, Meek.

“Why?”  It wasn’t a question; it was a plea.  Leon didn’t give a moment’s hesitation.

“Because I love you.”

Neil laughed quietly, or maybe he sobbed, but he for certain kissed Leon with all the love he had within him and it seemed, for a moment, like everything was spinning so out of control that it was all perfectly in alignment; that it was all right.

When the kiss was broken, both of them were smiling a little goofily.  Leon started messing up Neil’s hair somewhat self-consciously, and Neil leaned into the caress and closed his eyes.

“What happened, though?” Leon asked, unable to let it alone.  “Why did he- why did Meek do that to you?  Neil?”

Neil’s eyes opened again and Leon could read guilt, sorrow, and determination in them.  “Because I asked him to.”

“What do you mean?” Leon demanded, his hand stilling.  Neil sighed.

“How was I supposed to help you?” he asked.  “How was I supposed to understand what you were going through, unless I went through it, too?  Leon, I had to know.  I wanted to help you and to understand you, to be someone you could talk to.”

Leon was shaking his head.  “Neil, no.  You shouldn’t have.  Oh, god, he might have left you alone if you had just… if you hadn’t…”

“How would that have helped you, though?” Neil asked.  His eyes were so sad that Leon had to look away.  “Should I have left you alone to deal with that Meek person?”

“Better than you getting hurt,” Leon said, meeting Neil’s eyes again.  Neil just shook his head and hugged Leon tight again.

“I’ll be all right,” he whispered into Leon’s ear, “If you stay with me.”

“Then I guess you’ll be all right,” Leon replied.

“You’re not going to classes today,” Leon informed Neil the next morning. “In fact, you’re not going to them for the rest of the week.”

“What did I do?” Neil asked, though he didn’t seem to be listening very closely. He was staring out the window with a stunned look on his face. He looked as if he were high on something, or maybe tripping.

Of course, when I started seeing funky stuff, Neil thought I was tripping, too, Leon thought wryly.

“What you did was to get yourself into an impossible situation,” was what Leon said aloud as he went through his CDs. He wanted to pick something soothing and comforting, which was a rare commodity for his music list. He finally found the jazz CD that had made it into his collection with the help of some other agent than himself.

“You’re an impossible situation,” Neil replied, still not paying much attention. Leon reached over and started tugging on his sleeve, fighting the initial amusement he had felt at Neil’s statement. I don’t know, maybe it’s true, he mused.

“How can you go to class when you spent two hours last night staring at the cover of my scifi novels?”

“Check out that cloud,” Neil said, pointing at the uniformly gray sky. “It’s kind of puffy.”

“I think you should sit down,” Leon said, smiling in spite of himself. Neil allowed himself to be dragged over to Leon’s bed, looking around with wide eyes.

I got over that in a day, didn’t I? Leon fretted. I mean, sure, I didn’t get such an abrupt shock of it, nor was I in any real danger from hi- from Meek. At least, not as far as I could tell... But Neil was weird yesterday night, too. When will he be okay again?

“There’s something wrong with your mirror,” Neil said conversationally. Leon’s heart rate jumped a few hundred miles per hour and he turned to the mirror, watching as it began to ripple very slightly.

He grabbed the blanket off of Tim’s bed and fixed it over the mirror, watching his reflection suspiciously as he did so. Neil watched with mild interest before getting distracted by the ceiling.

“What are you looking at?” Leon asked, trying to keep a pleasant manner, even though his nerves were fraying.

Neil didn't answer; he smiled in a vague, confused manner and kept looking upward. Leon wondered how in the hell Neil had dealt with him when he was the one under the influence of... well, of more reality than usual.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, keeping one eye on the blanket over the mirror and the other on Neil. "I can make some soup. If I have any left."

Neil shook his head even as Leon went searching through his very depleted food supply, finding ramen noodles and a few bags of microwave popcorn. He decided to make the popcorn for himself and ignore the tripping kid on his bed.

He heard Neil start singing something softly but didn't turn around because the blanket was starting to slip from the mirror. Leon reached out to pull it back up but stopped when he saw the middle of the fabric stretch out a little, as if over the tips on the longest three fingers of an outspread hand. The blanket was still sliding down, slowly because the corners were caught on the edges of the mirror, when Leon finally ripped it off.

There was nothing there.

His heart was racing. Leon stared into the false depths of the mirror and waited, for what he wasn't totally sure. But he waited and wasn't reassured when nothing else surfaced and nothing happened.

I didn't imagine that, did I? Leon wondered. The thing was, he very well could have. He was so ready for Meek to try something that he might have imagined that something was pulling the blanket down when it was just falling. He was beyond paranoid nowadays.

But he wouldn't let us get away with this, Leon told himself. Would he?

It was a question that only time could answer.

"Too bad I'm not the patient type," Leon muttered. Then the microwave chimed cheerfully and he jumped, much to Neil's amusement. "Oh, go to sleep."

"Are you going to join me?"

Leon blushed as his friend started laughing helplessly, almost going into a seizure at the sight of Leon's face. God, I hope I wasn't this- this insane, he thought uncomfortably.

"I said go to sleep," Leon stressed, frowning with as much authority as he could muster. "You could use a nap."

Neil obediently closed his eyes, though he had started tapping on the wall in a strange rhythm. Leon ignored it, going back to the problem of the mirror and Meek's possible vengeance.

We aren't going to get away with this. He wouldn't let us go that far. Not Meek.

Besides Neil's condition, nothing really strange had happened all day.

Meek isn't patient, either. He takes what he wants, when he wants it. What is he waiting for now?

He picked the blanket back up and threw it over the mirror again, fixing it so that it stretched tightly over the glassy surface and wouldn't slip off. He watched it for maybe half a minute and nothing happened.

He heard Neil roll over, proving to be asleep upon inspection, and went back to his desk to get some homework done.

It was the most normal morning Leon had had in what seemed, to him, to be a very long time.

The whole day went by without incident. Leon was slowly losing his propensity to jump everytime a loud noise sounded from somewhere out of his sight, which was every other minute. Between machinery and students and traffic, Leon had been a nervous wreck. It was only because Neil had started yelling at him that he had even entertained thoughts of calming down.

"Look, Meek isn't going to just pop out of the woodwork at us, all right?" Neil said in a rather peevish tone. They were walking down by the lake, which was along the east side of the campus. Neil had dragged Leon down there because there was no machinery, no traffic, and few students down there in the cold weather.

"Of course not," Leon replied. "There's no woodwork out here. Unless you count the trees, but that's not really-"

"You're impossible," Neil interrupted, muttering in an annoyed fashion and grabbing his arm to drag Leon over to one of the few, well-spaced out lookouts over the lake. "You need to relax. What good is getting yourself so worked up that you're exhausted with tension? Deal with situations as they come."

Their footsteps sounded loudly on the old wood, making a strange, hollow thudding. It sounded almost like a giant, erratic heartbeat until they stopped at the edge, guarded by a newer metal railing. The clouds seemed to hang lower over the forest, but arch away
from the surprising still lake. Despite the wind, there were only small waves.

"Because planning is pointless, of course," Leon said snidely. He leaned over the railing,looking down into the dark water. He could see a distorted reflection of himself and Neil. Neil's twisted self was staring at Leon's almost-reflection. Leon wondered if his reflection felt the heat of Neil's glare.

"How can you plan for a freak storm? How do you get yourself ready for a pop quiz? My god, Leon, if he has a million possible choices of what to do to us when he's finally ready and can do any or all of them, then what kind of preparation should we make?"

"It's nice to be someone's god," Leon answered. Neil sighed noisily and drove his shoulder into Leon's lightly, just enough to throw him slightly off balance.

"And you complain that I'm not serious," he said to the sky. Leon smiled, feeling some of his worry lift, but not all. Trying to totally forget about Meek was about as wise as turning one's back on an approaching shark while making long, shallow cuts in both legs.

"We're young, we're healthy, and we're in love," Neil announced, throwing his arms out and proclaiming the news to the sky, the lake, and the world as a whole. "What do we have to worry about? Start acting your age and refuse to think about anything that could
possibly be wrong, unless it's that you don't have a beer in hand!"

"And you say that I'm impossible," Leon said, mimicking Neil's words from before and even talking upwards, face to the sky. Neil hit his shoulder again and Leon couldn't help but laugh.

"See? That's what I'm talking about. Unwind a little," Neil advised. "You'll get ulcers. And wrinkles. And you'll start walking with a stoop."

"And my hair will fall out and I'll get a pot belly and everyone will think I'm old," Leon finished.

"No, see, you would stop eating altogether and we'd end up putting you in an old age home to save your life."

"It's so good to be loved."

Neil put his arm around Leon's shoulders and kissed him on the cheek. "Don't you know it."

"I don't believe in happy endings," Leon said suddenly. He looked down at the water again, at his inky and twisted reflection, and kicked a small rock that was sitting on the deck of the lookout area into the lake. His and Neil's reflections scattered, disappearing into the murky depths.

"You weren't a Disney kid, were you?" Neil teased. Leon shook his head and smiled faintly, but the thought was still there in his mind.

I don't believe in happy endings and I don't believe in fate. He- no, Meek, dammit; I'm not afraid to call him by name- isn't going to let this slide! We're going to have to fight for everything we have.

"You're being gloomy again," Neil accused. Leon watched their reflections swim back up to the surface and didn't know whether to take it as a sign of strength, that they'd always come out on top, or as an omen.

That whatever we do, we're always going to end up in the depths, where there are things swimming around that we can't ever fight and win.

And even if he's not a big fish, Meek's a powerful one. Like a goddamn electric eel. Leon rolled his eyes at the mental imagery accompanying that thought.

"We're going to get coffee or something," Neil said finally, breaking the silence that had fallen over them as Leon had fallen into contemplation again. "Maybe if I get some caffeine into you I can catch and keep your attention."

"Always worth a try," Leon replied, just thankful to be getting away from the lake. It was too much like a mirror for him to feel very comfortable.

The coffeehouse Neil chose was one of the more well-known, popular, and therefore crowded areas on the campus. They had to fight their way over to the counter through enough people to fit a whole lecture hall; at least, that was Leon's totally unbiased
opinion. Neil didn't seem to mind; he was enjoying being back in the thick of things, and from the sound of it, so were quite a few guys and girls.

"Neil! Hey, what's up?" a tall brunette asked, winking at him flirtatiously.

"Where've you been? Do you need the lecture notes?" one short Hispanic boy asked, nudging Neil in the ribs.

"You do know that if you're not in class tomorrow, you're going to miss a pop quiz?" yet another person asked. On inspection, Leon labeled him a Teacher's Assistant, one of the few that were relaxed and actually good at teaching. Leon found it weird that the guy spoke with no accent as far as he could tell, when he looked like he might have just moved over from India or Pakistan.

Neil was in his element, laughing and talking and dragging Leon along, seeming to get high off just talking to people. They finally managed to grab some coffee and find a small table hidden in a corner, although to Leon that meant that they wouldn't be able to escape when Neil's fan club showed up again, and he said so.

"Fan club?" Neil repeated incredulously before laughing. "Well, will you be the president?"

"Only if I don't have to have a shrine to you," Leon said.

"Aww..." Neil pouted almost convincingly.

"No shrines. I draw the line at shrines."

"So... would you be averse to declaring to every new person you met just how wonderful and perfect and charming and sweet and-"

"Enough with the adjectives!" Leon interrupted, laughing helplessly.

Neil grinned, looking pleased. "Well, tell everyone you ever meet how awesome I am. That's your job, as president of my fan club."

There was a moment of silence as both boys began to sip their coffee. Leon stared at Neil thoughtfully, running his finger around the edge of his cup.

"I'm already running into difficulty with my new post," he said finally.

"Bastard," Neil growled.

The whole day and the whole night were completely uninterrupted by anything disturbing. There were no incidents at all concerning the "super-real," other than the brief sighting of something tiny and glittery that flew past them both, buzzing Neil, as they walked along the lake path again. Leon was beginning to think that either Meek had gone after Angela or fallen into a hole somewhere.

The latter option being the more preferrable one, of course.

"You know, we might have gotten away with it," Leon said softly to no one as he walked back from class that morning. Neil had insisted on going to classes again, citing the importance of the quiz that the T.A. had warned him about, so Leon had decided to attend his own, as well. The lecture was as stimulating as always, but the plus was that the Octavio Paz book was finally over.

Until the exam, he thought dolefully. Damn exams.

He was walking down the hill, unconsciously getting more and more tense. Too many incidents had occured on the hill for his subconscious mind to be at rest there. However, nothing happened.

It was like Meek had fallen off the face of the earth.

Am I happy about that? Leon wondered. He absent-mindedly skirted a group of chattering students, not even thinking his customary angry thoughts about people who just stopped in the middle of walkways with no regard for any other people who had to get a move on. Meek did harrass me, attack me, seduce me, and hurt my friends. So am I happy that he seems to have disappeared completely?

He realized, with a jolt of surprise, that he had stopped by the tree that he had seen Meek peering at him from behind once upon a time. He trailed his fingers along the bark, concentrating and getting a strange feeling of acknowledgement from the... from the tree?

Was Neil right, then? Is it just about how we think about things? If I work at it, if I think I can do things or at least think of a way that it should be possible, can I do all the freaky things that Meek could? Or do I still need time and practice?

There were people all around him, talking and laughing and walking to whatever was filling their lives. He shouldn't feel so alone. The world was so full of people.

But I am alone. Because unless I make people realize that what they accept as reality is just a shell over the whole of the thing, then how can I really make them understand me? How can I really connect to them?

He didn't know that he was crying until one salty tear touched his lips.

I didn't want to understand. I still don't. But people shouldn't have to be so alone. No one should. And for all his craziness and complete disregard for other people, Meek knew that. And that's part, if not all, of the reason why Neil is here with me, seeing as I
do and knowing what I know. People shouldn't be so alone.

He continued walking, leaving the tree behind him and trudging slowly back to his dorm, the oddly comforting weight of homework and mundane responsibilities sitting in the back of his mind. The sun was finally shining today, thick and golden. People walked into it from buildings and overhangings and blinked, casting long stares upwards, like they hadn't seen the sun in ages.

Leon walked with his eyes cast down but his face tilted up, catching that warmth and storing it away against the long winter.

He isn't going to let up. This reprieve is for me. Leon almost laughed at how egotistical that sounded, but he knew that Meek was capable of kindness.

He knew that Meek was also more than capable of cruelty.

I don't know how long this is going to last, he thought, stopping to take one dazzling look at the blazing yellow sun, but I'll make the most of it. Neil is right. The game may not be over, but I can't afford to waste the light.

It'll be over before I realize just how much I need it.

He blinked, trying to get rid of the afterimages haunting his sight, and continued to walk home. His heart was lighter than it had been in a long time.

Leon was sitting at his desk, waiting for Neil to make his way over to the room and trying to simultaneously do chemistry problems and write a response paper to an article assigned for Global Cultures, when a small rectangular bit of paper fell heavily on his head, sliding down to land on his lap.

It was the postcard from his sister.

"She seems like a nice girl," Meek said calmly. "Your family seems rather nice, too."

Leon turned slowly. Meek was lounging on his bed, wearing his customary black. Today, though, the silver etchings up his sleeves were of some kind of Asian language characters. Meek's expression was totally bland.

"How are you?" Leon asked carefully, his mind racing. Meek's lack of emotion wasn't helping Leon to judge how he should act in this situation.

"Tolerable," Meek answered. He lay back on Leon's bed, kicking his shoes off and wriggling his sock-clad toes, digging them into Leon's blanket. "And you?"

"I'm better than I have been in quite some time," Leon said, throwing caution to the winds. If I piss him off at least I'll get a reaction, and I'll know where I stand, he thought recklessly.

"I've been doing some thinking," Meek said, stretching his arms and crossing them comfortably behind his head. "And I realized that too much thinking just drags you into a downward spiral. Action is much more fun, don't you think?"

"It depends on the action," Leon said, and then cursed himself. He hadn't meant to go that far and give Meek that kind of ammunition.

It was too late, though. Meek's eyes flashed with some unrecognized emotion and he smiled in that same old way, baring his teeth. Somehow, they seemed to be sharper than before.

"I suppose you are correct," he said much too sweetly. Leon's newly acquired danger radar was going insane. "You'd know quite a bit about that, after all."

Leon decided to go back to polite mode. "Would you like something to drink?"

"No, thank you," Meek said, seeming to catch on to the more formal tone as well. "I came here to return your property, and to say hello, of course. I haven't seen much of you lately."

I am way too far out of my depth here, Leon thought dismally. "Nor I of you."

"And how is precious Neil?" Meek's voice was pure sugar.

"He's doing well. I'm sure he'd thank you for asking."

"The game isn't over," Meek warned. He stood up slowly, taking his time and exacerbating Leon's nervousness. "This was-"

"A reprieve," Leon interrupted. His voice was dull and quiet and he looked down at the floor, certain that his eyes were reflecting the hopelessness that seemed to have invaded him in the last second. "I know. And I thank you for it."

He didn't hear Meek move, but suddenly a cold, pale hand was grasping his chin, forcing him to look up. Meek's eyes were still blank and cold.

"The reprieve is over now," he whispered, leaning in to kiss Leon. "And I warn you, Leon, I will finish what I started."

"Not Neil," Leon whispered back. The iciness of Meek's hand was starting to make his jaw go cold.

"He should be walking back from the Humanities building right about now, I think," Meek replied. He was starting to smile, but it was without humor. "How fast are you, Leon?"

He disappeared. Leon swore loudly and stood up, got tangled in the chair, and fell to the ground. He managed to keep his face from hitting the floor but the chair went over him, crashing into the back of his head painfully.

Humanities building. Check, he thought, pushing the chair away and focusing on one of the usually deserted corners of the building. The third level was mostly outside, with only a few doors leading in on each corner to stairwells and a few stretched of concrete wall. He would go there rather than risk trying to show up on the second floor outside pavilion, where most of the student traffic took place.

It didn't take longer than a second and the area was totally empty of people when Leon opened his eyes and looked around, immensely relieved that he hadn't ended up in the elevator shaft, like Meek had said. He looked around, wondering where the hell Neil might have been walking when Meek went after him.

And then there was the bridge, from Humanities to the museum across a main street, where two people were standing. One was rather short and wearing black, and the other was tall and backing away from the first.

"Neil!" Leon shouted, running for the bridge. It was Meek who caught sight of him; his expression was filled with pure rage. His eyes flashed back to Neil even as Leon hit the end of the bridge and started to run up to where the other two were standing.

Neil said something that Leon didn't catch. The wind tore his words away, carrying them out to some far-off place. Meek had heard it, though, and he stepped back from Neil looking as if he'd been slapped in the face.

Leon cannoned into Neil, hugging him tightly from behind. Neil's hand covered his, sharing warmth and comfort.

Meek stared at them for close to a minute. He finally spoke. "There are other ways."

"They're a lot more difficult," Neil snapped back. Leon wondered what the hell he had missed this time.

"I'm not one to avoid a little hard work," Meek said. He backed up another step. "If the rewards are great."

Neil didn't answer, though his hand did tighten over Leon's. Meek nodded, seeming to take that as a reply, before he turned and walked away.

"He actually walks?" Leon murmured, making Neil shake slightly in silent laughter.

Meek hit the end of the bridge on the museum side before disappearing again. Leon finally relaxed his hold on Neil, letting him turn around.

"It's cold out here," Neil said softly. He smiled at Leon and his eyes were as sweet as they had ever been. "Should we go back to your room?"

Leon nodded and they walked back slowly, as if they had all the time in the world.

It was a week later before Leon saw Meek again. He was walking out of a discussion class, planning to stop at the office of one of his professors to get help with an essay due in a few days. Meek was leaning against the wall at the far of the hallway, clearly visible
despite the students wandering around, picking up the free campus newspaper and kicking the papers littering the floor around. He kicked an abandoned soda can across the hall, hitting a guy who looked around angrily, but would never find Meek. Leon stopped and stared at him.

Meek looked up at him and smiled. His expression was mischievous again, bright and just a little wicked. Leon watched him solemnly, willing himself to be invisible to the people walking around him, but also that they should realize he was there in some subconscious way and walk around him.

It had taken him a few days to learn that trick correctly. Neil had learned quite a few things that Leon wouldn't even attempt yet, but that had given him hope that he and Neil could defend themselves against Meek. Today seemed to be the first day slated to test
that.

Meek nodded to him, apparently congratulating him on it, before tilting his head to the side and grinning incredibly wickedly. Leon started to back up, disturbed by Meek's amusement, when he felt himself hit someone.

Then Meek's arms were around his waist and Meek was laughing quietly in his ear, although he was still standing at the far end of the hall, smiling widely and starting to make his way down to where Leon was standing, held captive by his double.

"The game's not over yet, Leon," Meek whispered into his ear.

A.N.-  Can you believe that I survived this?  Writing a 50K story in a month?  I must thank all of you for reviewing, especially Rae (who would IM and ask me if I was writing) and Rylyn (who seems to like all of my stuff!  Thank you!).  God knows if this will be continued sometime.  Oh, and I forgot to say:

The end.