This is yet another rant that I have posted on my web site. I write these for pure fun, (and to use my oh-so-cute but annoying muse) so, don't take them completely seriousely. I usaully get pretty good responses on these at my site, so I hope they go over well here.

I know this is kinda late, but it is funny none the less.

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HALLOWEEN HAVOK

On october 31st of last month, I Gothic Rogue participated in the common every year ritual of 'Trick or Treating'. True the fact that I am eighteen years old did raise a lot of eyebrows and earn me several weird looks from the local folks were I live, but that didn't really matter to myself or the gang of kids that I went with. That is not the subject of this conversation though. Oh no, not the 'Trick or Treating', but the events that follow your Halloween adventures.

First off, there is the deal with the candy. Oh, the candy is evil, the candy is the devil! After you have gone through the whole embarassing deal of collecting the candy, you must go through the ordeal of sorting the "crap" from the so called good stuff. For example, crap, stuff in unidentifiable wrappers, wrappers with unidentifiable words on the them. Good stuff, your chocolate, tootsie pops, and other things that is certian to remove that crown in the back of your mouth.

Moving on! After you have sorted your stash, and thrown out the "crap", you must now decide the right moment to say "NO!" and stop eating the damn stuff. Now, being a normal teenager with an abnormal sweet tooth, this is very hard for me to do. You see the candy before you, you eat the candy, and then the candy goes straight to what you are positive is your fat ass! This is all very hard for anyone to do.

Secondly, there is the after the sorting of the candy ritual. You know what I'm talking about, don't deny it. The ever loving tricks that you play on those who decided to tell you that night that you were just too damn big to be 'Trick or Treating'. Oh yes, the shaving cream, the toilet paper, and the eggs. I don't care what anyone says, these pranks never go out of style. There is nothing more terrifing than being woken up in the middle of the night by the dull smacking of eggs being thrown up against your house.

I beg of you though. When pulling off a good prank, you know, like every house on the street, don't do what my friends did. Deciding that they were in fact going to T.P every house on the block, they managed to overlook one very important thing. Yes folks, that's right! They everybody's house BUT theirs! Now, how bad do you think that looked? Yeah, not very good at all! My advice to any of you future prankers out there, use better judgement than my slightly demented friends.

If you truely want to T.P every house on the block, here's what you do. Pick out that one neighbor whome you truely despise, (don't say you don't have you, cause you know every neighborhood has one!) T.P every house, yes, including yours, and leave theirs alone. Don't forget to leave your incrinamting evidence on their front lawn though, that is sooooo crucial. Yes, Ms. Simmons has been blamed once again for a crime she didn't commit! Who would have thought, she seems soooooooo sweet!

Lastly, how do you come down from that happy sugar high and the addrenaline rush of pranking? This is acctually pretty simple to do. What you need to do is seek and find out any Kevin Cosner movie you can find, and hold a marathon. I can garuntee that within five minutes of 'The Postman' you will either be dead from the boredom and lack of interest, or sawing some seriouse logs! Never fails!

Now I am going to use this oppertunity to appologize to anyone out there whose house I did prank on 10/31/02. I am truley sorry for the sour eggs that not ferments the siding on your house. I am sorry Charmin toliet paper for useing your two ply to litter trees. Finally, I am sorry Kevin Cosner, I would like to tell you everything will be ok for you, but I JUST CAN'T!!!!

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Lance: You are one sick puppy, ya know that?

G-R: What! You do it too!

Lance: Yeah, but I don't brag about it!

G-R: You just don't have pride for your work! :P

Lance: Hey! I got my pride!

G-R: *rolls eyes* Yeah, right!