The Ineffective Five Super Heroes that can do Absolutely Nothing to Help You!

Theme Song- (Sung to the tune of Ride of the Valcury)

"We're the Ine- Fective Five we Fight the Invisible Wind of Doom!

He's The Invisible Wind of Doom he Tries to blow us Off the road!

But Smelly Kelly She's so cute she Bats her eyelashes And you die!

Katie the Giggler Laughs so silly That she'll put you In a trance!

She's The Spleen With extreme flatulence Pull her finger Then you'll see!

Risky Riscardo She can't stand up She falls over And knocks you out!

Super John is A real good driver He runs them over In the Magic Motor Home of Mystery!

Jamie the Snooze is Always sleeping Forgets to tell us When there's trouble!

We can save you From the bad guys I we don't kill you In the process!

KAFLAYGEN!"

A/N: This is very psychotic, be prepared. This is what happens when my sister, my mum, my aunt and I get bored on the way back from a motor home trip to Vegas (hehe, we drove down the strip in our motor home! ^.^). Well, It was so much fun, I'm posting it! Hehe. Well, a little disclaimer: The Spleen is actually from Mystery Men, but my mum does the best impression that we made her The Spleen. Risky Riscardo is something from I Love Lucy, but now it's my aunt. OK, before we go, here are some stats so you can have psychotic mental pictures:

Heroes, or are they? o.O

The Spleen- Super Power: Extreme Flatulence Super Food: German Goulash, Beans Only thing that can kill her: Beeno Talks like: The Spleen from Mystery Men (lisp) Saying: "Super John, what's the status!? What should we do!?" Title: Emperor Spleen- She started The Ineffective Five

Risky Riscardo- Super Power: Extreme Unbalance Super Food: Chocolate Only thing that can kill her: Not being able to get up Talks like: Lucy Ricardo (Ball) when she's being stupid Saying: "Risky Riscardo to the rescue!!" *falls* Title: Social Secretary Risky Riscardo- She likes to have dances????

Smelly Kelly- Super Power: Extreme Cuteness Super Food- Make-up (Yes, she eats it o.O) Only thing that can hill her: Ugly people Talks like: A Valley Girl, Does the funny high pitched 'ah ha!' thing a lot. (Gag) Saying: "Like, oh my gosh! I broke a nail!" (-_-; help me...) Title: Smelly Treasurer- She collects and carries around nickels....

Super John- Super Power: Extreme Driving Abilities Super Food: Motor Oil (o.O) Only thing that can kill him: Parking or any other kind of traffic ticket Talks like: An even more extreme lisp than The Spleen Saying: "I think we should drive right by it." Title: Super John the Maintenance Man- CUZ HE ROCKS and he drives the Magic Motor Home of Mystery!!

Katie the Giggler- Super Power: Extreme Giggling Super Food: Blue Toothpaste (ºoº No, I do not really eat blue toothpaste! Or do I....) Only thing that can kill her: Tears Talks like: The Orbit Gum lady. (Cool British accent. Fabulous!) Saying: "I laughed so hard I cried! Wait a minute... I CRIED!!!!" Title: Administrative Secretary of Giggles: She just writes too much, gosh darn it!! (^.^)

Jamie the Snooze- Super Power: Extreme Sleep Super Food: Chamomile Tea Only thing that can kill her: Caffeine Talks Like: She's drunk (because she's half asleep) with occasional moments of extreme clarity Saying: " You guys! There's a- *snore*" Title: Dispatcher- ?????????? She's barely even awake to tell us anything! Except for those moments of extreme clarity when she's just- Awake! o.O Don't ask me how that works, I don't know.... PS: she walks around in her underwear... o.O o.O o.O o.O SUPER o.O o.O

Mission Statement- Save people from the Invisible Wind of Doom and try not to kill the people that we're saving

Some sayings, mottos, and slogans- "Get it right or you're out of the group!" -all "Thuper John! What'th the thtatuth!? What should we do!? -The Spleen "I think we should drive right by it." -Super John "We might kill you trying to save you!" -all "Not only does she inform us of accidents, she causes them!" all, about Jamie the Snooze. (Remember the underwear thing? o.O ) "Eeek! I need sparkling teeth! Where's all the toothpaste!?" -Smelly Kelly "If only I was awake to have warned you of that acciden- *snore*" -Jamie the Snooze *Walks innocently away whistling* -Katie the Giggler "Giggle giggle giggle giggle.... RUPERT!! ELIJAH!!" -Katie the Giggler. (Ooh, yes, I am obsessed with Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley) and Elijah Wood (especially Frodo Baggins!! Heehee) And if you see Tom (Malfoy [HP]), Dan (Harry [HP]), Dominic (Merry [LOTR]), Billy (Pippin [LOTR]), Sean (Sam [LOTR] Mikey [Goonies]^.^), and possibly Orlando (Legolas [LOTR]) don't mind me....)

Archenemy

The Invisible Wind of Doom- Super Power: Extreme Windiness (o.O?) Goal: Trying to knock the Magic Motor Home of Mystery and other unsuspecting drivers off of the road. Only thing that can kill: Walls....

Fighting Strategies- 1. Jamie the Snooze, er, attempts to inform them of danger/ and accident 2. Smelly Kelly stuns them with her Extreme Cuteness 3. Katie the Giggler laughs them into a trance 4. The Spleen farts and disorients them 5. Risky Riskardo falls and knocks them over 6. Super John runs them over with the Magic Motor Home of Mystery

A/N: OK, now you know. That's how psychotic my family is. OK! ON WITH THE SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Ineffective Five: Episode One "The Meeting"

A young girl walked down the street of the Vegas Strip one cool night in November. She stopped at the Billagio and waited for the water show.

This was Katie. She had run away from home and, somehow, found the Strip the best place to go. o.O Makes absolutely no sense, I know.

Well, as soon as the lights turned on, she knew it was time for the show. The music started playing, when she realized that it was her favorite song!

She began to laugh her silly chuckle (that sounds like Elijah Wood's ^.^).

All of a sudden the lights began to fritz. Katie groaned. This is why she had run away from home, her parents were always put in a trance when she laughed!

A now-dazed, popular looking girl who was flirting with a cute boy (who was drooling over her along with several others, including full-grown men) fell over into the water.

A big jet of water shot her into the air.

But then a web shot out and caught her. Once she was saved, she went on to kiss her hero upside-down.

Wait, that's Spiderman. REWIND!!

....A big jet of water shot her into the air.

"Uh oh," said Katie "Bad...?"

"Yeah," said a lispy voice from behind her "I'LL THAVE HER!!!!"

"What are you going to do?!" came a voice from another person beside the one that Katie had heard.

Then the second person fell over into the water and joined the girl in the jet.

"Hi," said the woman "I'm Risky Riscardo!"

"How can you be so calm!?!?" Yelled the girl.

"I'm used to it,"

*O.O*

"Well don't just do something, stand there!" yelled Katie

*o_O??*

"Oh, geeze, DO SOMETHING!!!!"

The people in the fountain were being tossed up and down.

Suddenly the fountains turned off and some hotel people went out to save Risky Riscardo and the girl.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" yelled Katie, running over to them.

"Yeah, like, was it your fault?!" said the girl.

"Yeah," said Katie "I laughed...."

*o.O*

Katie giggled and everyone once again fell into a trance.

"Whoa," said the lispy woman "Be careful with that!"

"Sorry...."

The girl woke up and looked at Katie.

"Wow, that's wicked sick! I'm Kelly, though my parents call me Smelly Kelly, but, like, you really didn't need to know that so I'm like, yeah, gonna, like, stop talking now, yeah..."

Katie went to laugh, but stopped.

"Well, I can, like, do that too. Watch."

Kelly set her eyes on a group of guys and bat her eyelashes. The guys were suddenly stunned and fell over on the spot.

"Hey," said the lispy person "You two are really talented! I'm the Thpleen. Would you like to join my thuper hero group?"

"Woah! Super Heroes!" yelled Katie "Who else is in it?!"

"Well," said The Spleen "Jutht me and Rithky, but we're looking for more recrut-ths!"

Kelly and Katie looked to each other.

"OK!" they said in unison.

"OK," said Risky Riscardo "You need names. How 'bout Smelly Kelly and The Giggler?"

"Erm, OK," said Katie.

"LET-THS GO HELP PEOPLE!!!!!" Yelled the spleen.

So they set off down the strip. There was a sound of sirens, then a- motor home???? o.O Right....

So The Spleen, Risky, Kelly, and The Giggler ran after it.

There was a car accident, but the motor home sped right around it and stopped.

"Do something!" yelled Kelly.

The Spleen farted.

Everyone fainted.

"Nice," said The Giggler. It didn't seem to affect her, Kelly, Risky, or the person in the motor home, for he walked out and looked around.

"Farting?" he said.

"You farted?" said The Giggler.

"That'th my thuper power! Ecthtreme Flatulenthe!(flatulence)"

"*-_-;* And yours?"

"Extreme unbalance!" Yelled Risky.

"Thuper Heroeth?" said the man from the motor home, as everyone else was waking up "I'm Thuper John."

"Well hello, Thuper John!" said The Spleen "This is Rithky Rithcardo, Katie The Giggler, Thmelly Kelly, and I'm The Thpleen!"

"Well, all I have ith my boring friend, Jamie the Thnoothe, and her power is Ecthtreme Thleep, tho you can imagine how lonely that ith." Said Super John. They could hear The Snooze snoring from the back of the motor home.

"The Thnooze ith my dithpatcher. She attempt-ths to warn me when thomething ith wrong, but never really get-th to finish her thententhes! Want to join me in my Magic Motor Home of Mythtery?"

"Yay!! *^.^*" shouted Risky.

"Finally!" said The Spleen "Tranthportation!"

Kelly and The Giggler looked to each other as Risky and The Spleen boarded with Super John.

"Oh well," said The Giggler "If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em!"

She bounded into the Magic Motor Home of Mystery. It wasn't very mysterious...

"OK! As long as I don't break a nail!!!!!!!!!!" came Kelly's voice as she jumped into the M.M.M and shut the door.

And so began the Ineffective Five, super heroes that can do absolutely nothing to help you!!

A/N: ^.^ That was fun. I'd have to say that the stats and crap about the people is funnier than the actual episode. But we will think of the weirdest things, you trust me.

Tune in next time, same ineffective time, same ineffective channel for the next Episode of The Ineffective Five! When Super John will say- "I think we should drive right by it...."