The Battle of the Boy Bands Part I of III
By Patrick Gillespie

Disclaimer: This is the story the record companies don't want you to know. The story they have been trying to keep a secret. The names have been changed to protect the innocent, but the lurid details and shocking revelations have remained intact.

1998: The year Boy Bands became a phenomenon. To some, the music of this era represented a new low point for music. While to others, it represented a newfound excitement for it. Whatever people may have thought, or now think, few of them know how it all began. Few know the story behind its dominance. This is that story...

Snow stormed down upon The High Notes's tour bus as they drove along the empty highway, but not even a violent snowstorm could stop them. They were on their way to what would end up being the most important concert of their career, a concert that would make or break them. It was the moment they had been waiting for.

For the past two years The High Notes had relentlessly performed around the country trying to make a name for themselves. They had played everything from middle school dances to dingy bars to Saturday afternoon festivals at city parks. Their sound was friendly and non aggressive, their look was sexy without being in your face. It was the perfect G-rated pop. They had once even attracted a crowd of over a hundred people, but they still had not managed to get a recording deal.

The High Notes had originally started as the brainchild of Joe Palman, their founder and manager. Being a janitor at a local high school, he had noticed a local rise in the popularity of groups of young male singers. Their seductive harmonies and alluring sex appeal melted the hearts of the young schoolgirls. After some thinking, he realized that there might be some profit to be made in managing one of these groups.

Once his mind had been made up, he put an ad in one of the local papers for auditions to be in a boy band. After only a few days he had received several replies from interested teens. Young men thirsting for the attention and schoolgirl crushes that fame would bring. The auditions were long and tedious, only the best could be apart of the super group he was going to create. After a few weeks the pool of young men was cut down to five very talented young singers who fit the so-called "boy band formula." He had found the perfect combination for a hit group, he had found The High Notes.

It had taken Jive Records a few months to organize, but they had finally set up a concert contest to determine what their next big thing would be. The contest was organized into four different parts: an audition-round, where Jive would select which bands could participate, and three elimination-rounds. The winner of the contest would receive a record deal and mass amounts of exposure and promotion.

Each elimination-round in the contest consisted of several different bands taking the stage and performing their best songs in front of a group of concertgoers. The audience would vote for whom they liked best by screaming the loudest during their performance. In an event that there was a tie for the top choice, Jive Records officials who were watching over the concert would decide the winner from the bands that had tied.

The High Notes had made it past the first two rounds of elimination, and as they now drove down the long and empty highway they were on their way to the final round of competition, an event that would change everything. The final concert would consist of only two bands, The High Notes and a group known as The Backseat Boys. The Backseat Boys were a group not unlike The High Notes. They too were a boy band, and they too consisted of what was known in the underground as "the boy band formula."

The High Notes were not too worried though. They had been practicing their songs and their dance moves constantly. They knew that they could beat The Backseat Boys, it would just take a little extra effort.

As they drove through the snowstorm, all of the boys sat discussing which songs they would perform and how they would make their entrance. Justin thought it would be cool if they started by floating down from the ceiling and then broke into one of their fast dance numbers. Most of the others seemed to agree, but they were still trying to think of something that would be a little more spectacular.

Suddenly the bus began to slide on the icy road. All of the boys braced for what could be a potential wreck. The driver of the bus went into a panic trying to regain control of the bus, screaming at the top of his lungs "don't worry, I'll get control back!" but before he had a reasonable chance, the bus slid off of the snow covered road and tumbled down a steep cliff.

The wreck was not pretty. Broken glass and debris from the demolished bus littered the bottom of the snowy cliff side. The wrecked engine moaned with pain as it slowly cooled down, sounding almost like a dying animal. After the smoke had cleared, it was apparent that the crash had not been forgiving. All of the boys had been killed instantly. Joe Palman, the boy's manager, was the only survivor.

As Mr. Palman slowly limped from the scene of the wreck, he could not believe that all of his dreams had been crushed so quickly. He had worked for so long, and it had all been taken away from him in an instant. Extremely shaken and teary eyed, Mr. Palman pulled out his cell phone and called up Jive Records to inform them of what had just happened. He did not even think to call the police.

It is here that the story takes a strange and unusual twist. A decision is made that will change pop music history forever. A change that will signal in a new age for the music industry…

Surprisingly, the Jive Records officials on the other end seemed almost delighted in what they heard. Their ears had perked with excitement at the news. Mr. Palman could not believe the joyfulness in their voices. After hearing all Mr. Palman had to say, the Jive Records officials told him not to worry, and not to call the police or anybody else. They would handle it.

After about a ten-minute wait next to the wrecked bus, what appeared to be a rescue crew arrived. The crew consisted of two ambulances and one black limousine. The men from the ambulances quickly got out and loaded the dead bodies from the accident into their vehicles.

After the ambulances had loaded up and driven off, the back doors to the limousine opened and two men in black business suits got out. They then motioned for Mr. Palman to come over next to them. Mr. Palman, as quickly as he could, walked over to the men. Once he had reached them, they explained their plan and told him that there would be another ambulance shortly to come get him, even though his injuries were not that bad.

Mr. Palman found their plan to be strange yet interesting. They told him that Jive Records had been funding cloning research over the past few years. Their initial plan was to use this technology to develop and grow artificial John Lennons, Carole Kings, and other famous songwriters; but this plan had failed.

Their funded research had, however, led them to some interesting discoveries. They had found that they were able to take the bodies of the recently deceased and use them to create human-like robots. The field of artificial intelligence had grown immensely over the past few years and the robots they made could be created with a mind almost equal to that of a human.

Their plan for the deceased boy band members was to use them as shells for a new type of robot they were creating and then set them against The Backseat Boys in the final elimination-round. To make sure there was plenty of time for everything, Jive Records would postpone the final concert by two weeks. They would also let Mr. Palman have a test concert for the new robot High Notes if he wanted one.

After a few minutes of thinking, Mr. Palman accepted the idea. The men smiled and told him they would see him in two weeks.

(real disclaimer: just in case there are some really impressionable readers out there - this story is actually completely fictional.)