The other toilets flushed all around me, but I had the opportunity to be silent. I could hear more flushes than water running in the faucets, which is pretty nasty when you consider it, since more people are leaving without washing their hands after they've taken a shit. I like this time of day, though. Everyone is in the bathroom. There's lots of activity. It is really lonely at night, when no one uses you, and sometimes even the light is turned off, and then I'm real lonely. I can only sit here, after all. There's no windows, so its gets real dark. Then there's nothing. Nothing at all. But, enough about those times. Now, all of these people need to relieve themselves, and that's fine, since I enjoy the company. Someone is coming to use me now, but someone else previous left a shit in me, and I probably won't be used until there's no other option. I was right. Rather than flush me, he walked off to find a different stall. I'm fine with it. I'd rather sit here and listen to the other sounds anyway.

Listening is what I love doing. What else can I do, really? I love listening to so much activity going on around me. I'm a good people watcher, you see. All sorts of people come in to use me. You got fat people, skinny people, muscular people, Hispanics, Whites, Blacks, Asians. I love the combination people. I love looking at them, and they look back at me like I'm not something that is conscious. I don't know why they figure that. Maybe, since I can't talk like they can, they think I can't talk at all. Maybe to them that proves that I'm not a conscious thing, or something. Perhaps it's for the better, since I'm sure that they wouldn't go to the bathroom if they knew that they were being watched.

What's most interesting is what they say when they're on me. They do talk, you know; they just don't talk loud. You'd be surprised how many are scared that someone is going to open the door and walk in on them while they're seated doing their thing. My lock is broken, you see, and when it gets busy like this, so many people will have their leg up bracing the door while they take a shit. It's funny. Not funny for them, of course. Some people take forever to go, and some people really strain themselves, muttering things like, "Fuck, the meeting is in two minutes!" and all of that. It must be a terrible thing not to be able to enjoy yourself while doing something so essential as going to the bathroom. I think that does some harm to their bodies. It must.

What's interesting too is the feeling of unhappiness that I've gathered from the people that use me. Now, I know what it's like to be unhappy. It makes me so upset when people are not careful on me and leave me a mess, since I have to sit here and wallow in it for hours and hours until the janitor comes in cleans me. He's a dickhead, too. He talks so much about the people he hates. Most days, he hates his wife. Sometimes, he hates his boss. I wish I could speak like they can, because the janitor's boss uses me sometimes too, and I feel obliged to warn him that the janitor wants to kill him.

However, I think that it is important to be happy sometimes too. I know that unhappiness comes sometimes, but happiness should as well, and I don't see enough happiness around. People sit on me and they mutter such terrible things, like how much they hate so and so, and they talk of how they are dreading the drive home, and how they are scared their wife is going to "find out". I still don't know they mean when they say that, but I'm sure I will someday. People tend to hurry along way too fast. They're like a blur. They come in, drop down, and make these strained noises, and then they get up and leave as quickly as they came, sometimes even forgetting to flush me. I wonder what is out there that is so important that they can't take the time to relax on me. Granted, I get cold, but they warm me up just the same. Why not sit down and relax? Why strain so hard to get off me and rush out? Is happiness only outside the bathroom, and not in here? Why am I happy, then, if there is no happiness here? It's all very confusing, and I hope that someday they'll all slow down and perhaps flush me more. They should put down toilet paper when they sit on me too, because that asshole janitor doesn't clean me as thoroughly as he should.