This story, actually began, long before today,

As I walked down the dusty road along my merry way,

When suddenly from off the road, a truck of toxic-waste

Came spinning like a meteorite, and hit me in the face.

I writhed in bitter agony, as deep within my veins,

I could feel something bubbling, something rather strange. . .

And so it was because of this, that truck that fateful day,

That I became STUPENDOUS BLOB! Warrior of the insane!

My first and best adventure, began, indeed, this morning,

I clambered out of bed, still wriggling and yawning.

I had been woken up, you see, by mooing and a crashing,

I squinted out my window and spotted what was happ’ning,

The creatures (they were mutant cows) stood 20 feet in size!

Their skin was gross and snake-like, they had red glowing eyes.

I ran into my cupboard, and with amazing speed,

Commenced to put my cape on, and wrestle with my skis.

So I emerged in glory, sparkled umbrella in my hand,

And ran into my garden to face the alien band!

‘What d’you want?!’ I shouted, up at this fiendish bunch,

‘That substance you call milk, we want some cheese for lunch.’

And with that he cackled, and produced from his pocket,

An evil looking ray gun, which triggered off a rocket.

It flew into the air, and sent out nasty beams,

Which dragged the milk, cheese, yoghurt and even the ice-cream

Into a big ol’ space ship, which spluttering and rumbling,

Took off to their home planet while with laughter they were thundering.

Now this was just too much for me, I could forgive the cheese,

The butter and the milk but NOT my dear ice cream!

With one gigantic primal cry, I leapt straight at one cow,

I plunged my umbrella through his heart and knew he was dead now,

The other cows were quite surprised, ‘If a blob so small,

Can impale our emperor cow, she’ll surely kill us all!’

And with that they packed there bags, and restocked our dairies,

And flew back to their far off home, silly mutant scardies.