THE ANTI CHRISTMAS TALE

written by someone who hates Christmas

2001-12-23

Oh come on! Christmas again? Oh please Lord, no! Once again it smells like cinnamon and apples. I cannot stand this anymore. If I decorate the Christmas-tree this time? Maybe with something untypical of Christmas? Easter eggs! What a great idea! I run up the stairs to the attic, ignoring the screams of the cats that I woke up. I grab the artificial Christmas- tree and the Easter eggs and run downstairs again and out the door. Outside I set the tree down and begin decorating. Does it have to begin t snow now? Wonderful! With cold hands I cannot finish the damned tree. Who cares if it looks a bit skinny? The Easter eggs are placed quickly. I put the bunny on top and bring the tree to the drive way and discuss with my neighbour the sense and nonsense of Christmas. Five minutes later, I show her my middle finger and leave. She runs around outside and tells everybody what an awful person I am. If she touches my Christmas-tree, Ill dip her in honey and leave her out for a colony of fire ants. Smirking, I think to myself that Christmas is cool!