Sorry

"Move, fatass."

I stutter a small apology as I move to the side. I walk back to my desk, hair covering my face, slowly. I can hear small giggles at the table I sit at. I hear them every time I'm there. Nervously, I sort out my work on my desk. A paper slips from my desk and onto the one next to mine. The girl makes a disgusted sound and pushes all my work onto the desk on my left. I try to collect all my work as the kids at the table push it around, trying to suppress their giggles.

"Don't put your papers on my desk. You've probably got germs all over them."

I stumble out more apologies as I gather the rest of the papers. Quietly, I stand up and walk over to the teachers desk.

" Mi-Mss... Can you please move me? I-I really d-don't like sitting there."

Annoyed, the teacher sighs and lazily replies.

"We've been over this before. You were assigned to that table for a reason. Do you even try to talk to the students at your table?"

"I-I try..."

I stutter out more excuses, the teacher not believing me one bit. She waves her hand and promises she'll take care of it later. She never does.

The bell rings for recess and all the other kids race to get their coats to go outside. In no rush to be anywhere, I walk at my normal pace to the coat rack and grab my coat.

I can feel the harsh wind on my cheeks as I walk outside. No where to go, I sit at the portable, waiting to go back inside.

As usual, kids from my class walk over, giggling like they always do, and whispering to each other. As they begin to insult me I close my eyes and try to block them out. Still hearing their rude comments and sneer tone voice I whisper apologies to them.

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I'll change..."

It doesn't help. Nothing ever helps. It's a continuous cycle. And I'll always be on the receiving end of it. That's just me. It's how I'm destined to live.

I'm sorry.