A/N: More random poetry-ness from yours truly.  I was writing it in my assignment notebook at school… That might explain it a bit.  It’s not nearly as long as Spoken, but I hope it’s still good.  I hope you enjoy it – please review!

Ruby Red Roses

Ticking by

Slowly

Mocking me

All the talk

All the rave

It’s in

It’s new

It’s hot

I stayed behind that night

You don’t want to get involved

You don’t want to mingle

You desire attention

You desire praise

Be the exhibit

On display

To reveal

Demonstrate

Show

Be the director

Have the control

Advertise

Be the parade

Make sure everyone was watching

I wasn’t watching you

You didn’t care

You wanted the credit

I stayed behind that night against your will

I wanted to be on top

I wanted to look down on you

Mountain tops

All below

Lying dead

For I am the victor

Treated so poorly

Take it no more

I wasn’t going to accept your shit

I wasn’t going to take your beating

I stayed behind that night

You begged me to come along

Oh how glamorous

Oh how wonderful

 All would be

Lying sprawled

Like sleeping children

Silent

Helpless

No movement

No sound

I stayed behind that night

You stayed with me

I wanted you to stop talking

I wanted you to stop gloating

I wanted you to stop bragging

I wanted you to stop boasting

I wanted you to stop

I wanted you to die

Even if you stayed with me

But you were so stubborn

You wouldn’t listen to me

When I told you I wasn’t all right

When I told you I wasn’t okay

You wouldn’t listen to me

Yelling in your ear

Denying me the attention I so deserved

The attention you stole away from me

I was so close to respect

So close to appreciation

You took it away from me

Left me broken

Left me used

I told you to leave the night I stayed behind

You didn’t listen

There you lie

Who wants something broken?

Who wants something used?

They want something pure

They want it fresh

Out of the package

They want it first

Sweet apple pie

Warm

Untouched

Virgin apple pie

Pure

Beautiful

You made me cry the night I stayed behind

You tried to comfort me

You stabbed me

Deep

I stabbed you back

Deeper

But I was dirty

I wasn’t pure

I wasn’t fresh

I wasn’t warm

All because of you

You made me that way

You were proud

Boasting at your handiwork

Me

Your masterpiece

Put on display

Prying eyes

Flashing lights

Sirens blaring

You wouldn’t leave the night I stayed behind

You wanted me to be like everyone else

You wanted me to be like her

So pretty

So clean

So pure

You wanted to change me

So I changed

All for you

And you betrayed me

Even if you stayed the night I stayed behind

I thought that made me special

I thought that made up

For all the times

You hurt me

You made me feel worthless

Degraded

It didn’t help

I needed to be rid of you

I was determined to take care of it all

That night I stayed behind

My tears motivated you

My tears told me I was yours

You owned me

You wanted me to suffer

And you did

It made you smile

Didn’t it?

It made you laugh

Didn’t it?

It made you happy

Didn’t it?

Nice to know you had power over something

Over nothing

I am nothing

It’s what you always told me

Then I’d cry

Believing every word you said

So you’d comfort me

I’d accept and you’d smile

I am nothing

You own nothing

I walked up the steps that night I stayed behind

I could hear you following me

I smiled

I heard you laugh

I wanted to see you bleed

I wanted to see you cry

I wanted to watch you die

You had watched me bleed

You had watched me cry

You had watched me die

In your arms

You never knew

I was empty inside

You needed to be empty too

I couldn’t have it any other way

I couldn’t live with you

I couldn’t live without you

And you knew it

I loved you

You knew you had power over me

You knew you could control me

You could abuse me

You did

You could hurt me

You did

You manipulated me

A farce I never wanted a role in

The farce I had the lead

You wouldn’t have had it any other way

And I knew it

I led you into the bathroom that night I stayed behind

You followed me

Obediently

That night

I stayed behind

Everything was going too perfectly

You knew I was with you

Too good to betray you

I had to be rid of you

I had planned it all out

You were falling into my trap

My spider web

I was going to make you mine forever

I wasn’t the only one

I saw the other girls

The prettier girls

The more popular girls

The richer girls

Those lucky girls

They laughed at your stupid jokes

They talked in your meaningless conversations

They sat on your lap

Nipped at your ears

Sucked on your dick

You loved it

Like I never knew

I was the girl next door

The honest girl

The innocent girl

No one would suspect me

You thought you were so sneaky

You thought you had gotten away

But I had caught you out last night

For the last night

I waited for you

That night before

That last night

In the cold

In the dark

In the rain

Telling myself those lies

You’ll come

You swore you’d come

You promised you’d come

A whole night you would be mine

You swore you set it off for me

You swore that we would have fun

You would show me things

I’ve never seen

Let me experience things

I’ve never experienced

I waited

It hurt me inside

The cold numbed my fingertips

The cold made my teeth chatter

The cold made my tears freeze on my cheeks

You said you were with me

You said that you would be mine

I smiled

You smiled

I kissed you

You kissed me

I laughed

You laughed

I kissed you again

I let you take advantage of me

You fucked me

That night I waited alone

That night I had had enough

So, tonight

You are mine

All mine

And I wouldn’t have it any other way

Your friends defended you

He’s true

He loves you

They would know

Wouldn’t they?

My friends told me I was so lucky

So lucky with you

You were so beautiful

So popular

Made everyone so envious

They envied me

It made me smile when you put your arm around me

Put your arm around me so all could see

It made me smile when you touched me

But you hadn’t touched me

You touched her

And her

And her

 And I knew

You thought you had gotten away

I played stupid for days

Waiting for this night to come

The night I stayed behind

Leading you into the bathroom

A porcelain tub full of roses

You asked for another chance

I gave you another chance

Sucked into your charm

Sucked into your label

Oh how wonderful you are

It’s what they say

They

Know all

See all

Hear all

Tell all

But I had been absent that day

Missed the memo

Found out the hard way

I followed you home one night

My headlights turned off

I went undetected

You pulled up into your driveway

Got out of your car

She came out as well

I felt fury

I felt rage

I felt wrath

I felt crazed

Betrayed

Played

Lied

Exposed

Unmasked

I stood outside your bedroom window

I could see her naked body

I could see your naked body

I held in my anger

I held in my rage

I drove home

You made me cry

You made me feel worthless

You made me feel useless

And you didn’t even know

I was going to let you know

That night I stayed behind

I let you see my pain

I let you witness my anger

I let you feel my rage

I took care of it all

That night I stayed behind

I don’t know why

I put up with it all

I don’t understand how

I didn’t crack before

My friends told me to be strong

Told me I was imagining it

Your friends told me it was a lie

I was the only one for you

Me and that slut you brought home that night

That night I wanted to surprise you

That night I wanted to give myself to you

The tears burned my eyes

Burned like fire

A blaze

A holocaust

A flame

Into combustion

Rekindled

Past memories

Burning me deeper

Reminding me

The scars

The cuts

The bruises

I put to myself

Because of what you did

You hurt me

So I hurt myself

You never knew

You never asked

You never cared

I was with you

You had me

You didn’t know who I was

You didn’t understand me

You didn’t want to understand

That night I stayed behind

That night

I would make you understand

I would make you see

I would make you see that I was there

I was real

I would make you see my pain

I would make you feel my pain

I was too gullible

Too credulous

Too naïve

Too trusting of you

Of the man I thought I loved

Of that man I thought loved me

I couldn’t be without you

I would keep you with me

So you wouldn’t be able

To leave me out in the cold

To leave me out in the dark

To leave me out in the rain

To leave me alone

Ever again

I was going to make you see

That I was yours

I was going to make you see

That you were mine

Take you in my possession

Take you into my care

Under my wing

I would be your mentor

I would be your teacher

Your educator

Your instructor

Your preceptor

Your master

I would make you see

That night I stayed behind

I had you alone in the house

Alone in the bathroom

Bathtub full of bloody red roses

You smiled

Kinky

Frisky

You liked me like that

Acting like your slut

Acting like your whore

Acting like her

You looked around the tiled room

The mirror was shattered

I couldn’t look at my face

I remember that confused look on your face

Like every time I cried

Why are you crying?

It was because you had hurt me

You made me cry

You’d laugh

Hold me close

Whisper into my hair

I’d never do that

You’d kiss me

Lick those salty tears

Off my rosy cheeks

So I’d smile

And you’d smile

And everything would be all right

Then you’d do it all over again

You’d make me cry

You never understood

The pain you caused me

The pressure you placed over me

The expectations you had of me

Expectations I never met

She met them

She had it all

But you were tied to me

Someone had locked us together

Thrown away the key

That night I stayed behind

I led you into my bathroom

I smiled at you

And removed my shirt

Your eyes lit up as I took yours

Oh you loved it

Loved to be pampered

Loved to be the center of attention

Loved to be in the spotlight

I kneeled down

Unbuckled your belt

Unzipped your jeans

They fell down to the floor

That night I stayed behind

I was going to make you cry

Cry a million tears

For the million tears I had cried

Cried over you

Breaking up with you

Wouldn’t satisfy me

It wouldn’t give me pleasure

The joy

Enchantment

Delight

Delectation

Enjoyment

Fun

Amusement

It wouldn’t give me the entertainment

The relish

Zest

Spice

Gratification

Luxury

Thrill

It wouldn’t give me the relief

The alleviation

Qualification

Moderation

Truce

Solace

It wouldn’t give me the peace

That I would get

From seeing you bleed

That night I stayed behind

I kneeled in front of your naked body

Already aroused

I felt around for the blade

Hidden away

Discarded in the corner

My fingers

Trembling

Brushed against the sharp metal

I gripped the handle

I stabbed you

Just as you had stabbed me

Only deeper

It was a pleasure

To see your eyes bulge

To see your jaw drop

You didn’t believe it

Reaching down to your thigh

Your hand came up ruby red

You stumbled back

Into the bathtub

Of ruby red roses

I studied your face

Contorted in fear

I studied your eyes

Ah, those eyes

So deep

So blue

Like the ocean

I got lost in them for hours

You’d laugh at me

You’d smile at me

You’d kiss me

The way you kissed me

I was in Heaven

I was finally acceptable to you

But your eyes

That night I stayed behind

Weren’t as pretty

I wanted your eyes

So I took your eyes

You stopped squirming

The pain was too much

Wasn’t it?

Hurt too much

Didn’t it?

I hurt more

My pain was worse

I had lived with it

Every time you forgot to pick me up

Every time you forgot my birthday

Every time you changed your plans

Every time you were with that girl

I had to stumble through

With my eyes open

I had done you a favor

That night I stayed behind

You couldn’t see anymore

You couldn’t judge me anymore

You couldn’t compare me to the pretty girls

You couldn’t see the pretty girls

I turned on the bath water

 Running madly from the faucet

Through the copper pipes

Of my parents home

The ruby petals rose around you

Blood ran from your eyes

Down into your mouth

Open only a slit

Just like when you’d sleep

Looking sweet

Like a little boy

An innocent little boy

I thought

You would do no harm

That it would be the last time

You would ever hurt me

That night I stayed behind

I wouldn’t let you hurt me

I watched as the water rose

Scorching hot

Around your body

Water as red as the roses

I watched you still

I was on my mountaintop

Looking down

Lying dead

Your body sprawled

Like a sleeping child

Silent

Helpless

No movement

No sound

The water flowed over the bathtub’s edge

As red as the roses

Onto the tile of the bathroom floor

Sliding to my feet

Staining my skin

With your bloody water

I thought I saw you move

That night I stayed behind

I thought I saw you smile

That night you stayed with me

I thought I could hear you laugh

That night you were stubborn

I saw flashing lights

Outside the window

I heard sirens blaring

Outside the window

I walked over to the window

And I saw the lights

My feet splashing in the water

As red as the ruby roses

I returned to you

That night you stayed behind

And looked at your naked body

I walked over to you

Feeling the tears burning my eyes

I sat down beside you

In the water

With the roses

Resting my head on your shoulder

It was my turn to offer the comfort

My turn

As I licked your tears away

Tasting like metal

Ruby red

Whispering into your hair

I’d never do that

I’d never hurt you