Kristle

Amy

zeekie

Neko-chan

"The Three Musketeers...Plus One More"

A/N: This year, in English class, the whole entire course is on English literature. We started with the more recent works--and that includes the various manifestos that authors have created. And then our teacher gave us an assignment: To create a manifesto of our own. And here it is, uploaded for your own enjoyment. (If anyone is actually READING this!!) In each manifesto, we're supposed to be blasting, cursing, and blessing things. Instead, we decided to QUENSTAFFLE and HUGGLE things. What does quenstaffle mean, you ask? Well...we aren't too sure of that ourselves. Hope you like it!

"Bestest" Manifesto

(AKA: The Completely Pointless, Ludicrous, and WEIRD Manifesto!)

The Three Musketeers...Plus One More...proudly presents the "Bestest" Manifesto. An idea, a thought, a manifesto so completely pointless, ludicrous, and weird...it's random.

What is quenstaffle?

What is TO quenstaffle?

What does quenstaffle mean?

Actually...we don't know ourselves.

Quenstaffle:

The Three Musketeers...Plus One More...QUENSTAFFLES ignorant big-headed fools who think they know what they are doing. They don't know what they are doing and so they should be locked away--preferably for all of eternity.

We chose to QUENSTAFFLE liver. It's disgusting and should be outlawed and made illegal.

QUENSTAFFLE Antarctica.

It's cold. So very, very cold.

We chose to QUENSTAFFLE Morality teachers around the world.

People do not need to take Morality classes to know what is right and what is wrong. It's a waste of time and people end up sleeping through the class. Their RELIGION is supposed to take care of their morals.

Immoral people. Also, amoral people.

1) THEY need to take the morality classes.

2) THEY should be smacked with many heavy objects.

QUENSTAFFLE...bad drivers.

Go and retake the test. Go and relearn how to drive. Go and...get off the road.

QUENSTAFFLE contradictions.

You take great joy in confusing us, don't you? Mean what you say and say what you mean. THE. END.

QUENSTAFFLE needles.

They're sharp and pointy. They, like liver, should be outlawed and made illegal. Who needs needles, anyway? You poke and jab people with them. And that's not fun at all. Down with needles!

QUENSTAFFLE vermin.

Flies, (yucky) rodents, fungus, mold--any and all vermin. They ruin house, home, and family. They also ruin food. And that's where they cross the line. QUENSTAFFLE flies and their annoying habit of buzzing around your face!

QUENSTAFFLE...kamikaze bees.

1) They have needle butts. They should die.

2) They are evil. Very, very evil.

QUENSTAFFLE rainy, coldy, windy days.

QUENSTAFFLE jobs!

1) Jobs=Evil.

QUENSTAFFLE procrastination!

Late nights. Stress. Worry. Fifteen-page, double-spaced, ten font papers. Need we say more? "Papertitis." Putting it off 'til the last minute. Freaking out. Crying. Panicking. ...and then leaving it for another day.

1) QUENSTAFFLE LONG RESEARCH PAPERS!

QUENSTAFFLE the Canadian Dudley Do-Right.

QUENSTAFFLE stupid ring tones.

1) Nokia's "polite" tone.

2) "Ring Ring."

3) Ring tone from Jurassic Park: III.

QUENSTAFFLE forgetting things.

AKA...brain hiccups.

QUENSTAFFLE...getting sick.

1) Wet socks.

2) Cold toes.

3) Colds.

4) Runny noses.

QUENSTAFFLE AOL.

Why is it called "America ONLINE" if it's "American OFFLINE" most of the time? Kicking you off the Internet in the middle of a conversation, when you're doing research, printing things out, or, worst of all...downloading things.

QUENSTAFFLE big and heavy textbooks.

QUENSTAFFLE tiny lockers that can barely hold all your books.

QUENSTAFFLE...money.

Can such a thing be a blessing as well as a curse? So many things to buy! The mall is so large with so many pretty shops! Eh...but everything is so EXPENSIVE.

QUENSTAFFLE disco.

God must have been mad at us when he invented it.

1) QUENSTAFFLE Britney Spears.

This one seriously doesn't need an explanation.

QUENSTAFFLE school.

There's the Internet and home schooling. Why must there be SCHOOL schools?

QUENSTAFFLE family.

1) Younger siblings.

Younger ANNOYING siblings.

2) Parents.

Overbearing, overprotective parents.

3) Relatives that continuously forget how old you are, what your name is, and what you like. Relatives that forget what size clothing you wear and give you things that are either A: Too little. Or B: Too big.

QUENSTAFFLE slavery.

1) Prejudice.

QUENSTAFFLE alarm clocks.

Sleep is good...alarm clocks are evil. So very, very evil. LET US SLEEP!

QUENSTAFFLE showers that don't work.

They are either 1) Too hot. Or 2) Too cold. Why can't they be _just_ right??

QUENSTAFFLE...ex-boyfriends.

1) C.

2) I.

3) R.

QUENSTAFFLE fake fight scenes.

"Oh, I am hurt!"

"Oh, my! He shot me!"

"I'm...*cough cough*...dying..."

QUENSTAFFLE long school hours.

QUENSTAFFLE tests.

QUENSTAFFLE tests when they're all grouped together, on the same day, on the last day before a vacation. It's wrong. So very, very wrong.

QUENSTAFFLE 70's and 80's hair and clothing.

~~Highwaters.

God must have hated us then, too.

QUENSTAFFLE Anatomy.

Why learn it in high school? That's what college and medical school is for!

QUENSTAFFLE silent movies.

...no words... Nope, no words at all.

1) "Huh?"

QUENSTAFFLE tacky nailpolish.

No. Just...no. Sparkles, yes. Glitter, yes. Pink...nope.

QUENSTAFFLE eyebrows.

Why do we have eyebrows? Why do some people have unibrows? WHY MUST WE ALWAYS AND CONTINUOUSLY BE PLUCKING THEM?! What IS the point of eyebrows??

QUENSTAFFLE losing things.

Why must things disappear, never to be seen again? And why do things disappear--only to REAPPEAR again??

QUENSTAFFLE Dominique S.

Bry: "Just 'cause I can. D Heh heh heh..."

QUENSTAFFLE Bry S.

Dom: "Just 'cause _I_ can. D Heh heh heh..."

QUENSTAFFLE political correctness.

It's a CHRISTMAS tree. NOT a holiday tree! Jeez...only Christians celebrate Christmas, so why would anyone care about whether or not it's called a 'Christmas' tree?

QUENSTAFFLE stupid laws.

1) Thou shalt not have ice cream on apple pie.

...O-okaaaay...

QUENSTAFFLE awkward pauses.

1) "What?"

2) "Ummm..."

3) "Dude..."

4) "Man..."

QUENSTAFFLE being tardy.

QUENSTAFFLE politicians.

'Politic' games... 'Behind the Scenes' games... 'Mind' games... STUPID AND POINTLESS GAMES! Conniving and sneaky...

QUENSTAFFLE _EVIL_ ponies...

...especially the ones that go by the name of Emily...

QUENSTAFFLE boring stuff.

QUENSTAFFLE bad 'guy' names.

1) Geoff.

2) Sampson.

3) Warren.

4) Lawrence

5) Hallowishes. (Yup, that IS a guy's name!)

6) Dan.

7) Cecil.

8) Hubert.

9) Erikson.

10) And so many, many more...

QUENSTAFFLE lectures.

So...very...tempting...to...sleep.

QUENSTAFFLE stains that won't come out.

QUENSTAFFLE glasses.

Why can't everyone have perfect eyesight? Why must some people have glasses and/or wear contacts that won't go IN?!

QUENSTAFFLE people that don't pay attention when you're talking...

1) QUENSTAFFLE short attention spans.

~~Annoying people.

QUENSTAFFLE taxes.

The government takes and takes and takes... Why do they take our hard-earned money? (Especially if we only have a minimum wage job?) "The only sure thing in life is DEATH and TAXES."

QUENSTAFFLE mucus.

Some things are just naturally gross. This is one of those things.

QUENSTAFFLE inconsideration.

There are more people out there than just yourself, buddy.

QUENSTAFFLE stupid jokes.

If a joke isn't funny...don't say it. 'Kay? In the end, you'll only look like an idiot and we will MAKE you feel like an idiot. Trust us on this, alright?

QUENSTAFFLE garbage.

It takes up space and it's dirty.

QUENSTAFFLE pointless books.

1) A Test Of Poetry

2) ABC of Writing

3) Ezra Pound

QUENSTAFFLE cat litter.

Everybody hates it when it's their turn to change the cat litter. C'mon. You can't deny it. We see right through you...

QUENSTAFFLE people who don't shut up.

They just keep on goin' and goin' and goin'---like the Energizer Bunny. KILL IT!

QUENSTAFFLE college applications.

There...are...just...so...many.

QUENSTAFFLE split ends.

They're ugly and we don't like 'em.

QUENSTAFFLE cows.

They smell, they're disgusting, the produce methane, and the destroy the atmosphere.

QUENSTAFFLE people who mess up songs.

If you want to sing, get it right.

QUENSTAFFLE...

"Just one more picture, I SWEAR!"

Yeah, we know you actually mean: "Just a thousand more, I SWEAR!"

QUENSTAFFLE accidental waves.

You know that stupid feeling when you wave to someone, thinking they're waving to you but they're actually waving to the people behind you? Well, we QUENSTAFFLE that, too.

And we QUENSTAFFLE censors on "Robin Hood: Men in Tights."

Censors are evil. Best way to annoy an anime fan would be to censor and edit their favorite shows. And then they decide to write satires at the injustice of it all. You DON'T want to see annoyed anime fans writing satires. No, you do not. So, please, don't censor anything from us, okay?

To Huggle is to love.

This we know for fact.

But this is what happens

when we have no more tact.

We are blunt

We are honest

Fair and very wise.

So come and celebrate with us,

as this Manifesto meets its demise.

We chose to HUGGLE all anime.

Welcoming all anime Bishounen with open arms.

HUGGLE hamsters...

For they are so very, very cute.

HUGGLE sleep.

Most people never realize how wonderful sleep really is. Don't become one of these people, please. Sleep is wonderful, sleep is great. Sleep is SO underrated.

HUGGLE food of all kinds!

One word: SUGAR!!!

Pixy Stix!!!!

HUGGLE Lord of the Rings.

One of the greatest story epics ever created.

~~Orlando Bloom

C'mon. You know you like 'im, too...

HUGGLE books.

Reading after a stressful day is one of the greatest things ever created.

1) Bruce Coville

2) TA Barron

3) Tamora Pierce

4) Patricia C. Wrede

5) KA Applegate

6) JK Rowlings!!!

HUGGLE bubble wrap!

No life is ever complete without bubble wrap. Ever.

We HUGGLE 'bestest' and best friends.

Real friends last forever.

HUGGLE animals.

Companions, majestic, beautiful.

1) Cats.

2) Chinchillas.

3) Octopi.

"Touga Octopus Friends."

HUGGLE randomness.

It's alright to be strange.

HUGGLE procrastination.

Like we said before, a blessing and a curse all rolled up into one. Still don't know if it's more blessing than curse or more curse than blessing, though...

HUGGLE "Eh?"

Just... "Eh?"

HUGGLE shadow puppets.

Look! There goes Mr. Rabbit down the pass...

~~Sock puppets!

HUGGLE songs you can sing at the top of your lung!

We honor, cherish, and huggle OPERA and MUSICALS from this point on, until death do us part.

HUGGLE (and love) teachers who don't give out homework. We love you all, wtih all of our hearts and souls.

HUGGLE super balls.

They're so bouncy! And they fly so high, too!

HUGGLE dictionaries.

Without them, we would be spelling 'mine' as 'myoin' and spelling in as many ways as we want to. Three cheers for dictionaries!

HUGGLE water beds.

So squishy and fun! Wheeeeee!!!

HUGGLE TV.

GOD Bless our TV set!

1) Cable.

2) Satellite.

HUGGLE money.

Yay for capitalists! Money! And more money!

HUGGLE (ugly) vintage purses.

HUGGLE Jeep Wrangler Sports.

If you do not know of my love for my car, then you know NOTHING.

It is my baby. My big, blue, baby.

HUGGLE school.

Eh...put it back into the quenstaffling section...

HUGGLE family because, in the end, that's all that are we have...family.

HUGGLE "Blame Canada" song.

HUGGLE...

1) They have alram clocks.

2) They have no school.

3) SUMMER VACATION!

HUGGLE Harry Potter.

Genius. Sheer and complete genius.

1) Fanfiction

HUGGLE beds, pillows, blankets.

Fluffy things. Oh so soft!

HUGGLE sparkles.

Presents.

We HUGGLE Hwaii.

HUGGLE muffin hats.

Jaunty and interesting. Wickedly cool.

HUGGLE DVDs.

Special effects, added footage, interviews, digital, and it's better. People are STILL buying videos?!

HUGGLE lifting eyebrows.

Celebrate if you can do it. You are talented.

HUGGLE plastic.

It just IS.

HUGGLE nice-smelling shampoo.

They smell really nice, something that won't happen for a very, very, very, very long time if under me.

HUGGLE...

Weirdness.

Dorkiness

HUGGLE odd words.

..."Words." ..."W-Words." ..."W-W-Wooooooooooooooooords."

HUGGLE SPOONERISM!

HUGGLE laptops.

God huggle the laptops!

HUGGLE doodling.

Sometimes you get so very bored and you can't do anything EXCEPT for doodle. C'mon! You know that I tell the truth! You were agreeing with me just a minute ago!

HUGGLE "O! I am slain!"

HUGGLE...

Hot chocolate.

Wassail.

Apple cider.

HUGGLE: HYPERNESS!

Sugar-rushed...is that reeeeeeaaaaally such a bad idea?

HUGGLE My Little Pony.

Some things just bring up wonderful memories...

HUGGLE manga and comics.

Manga and comics are as good as anime, and sometimes even better because manga pictures don't move! They stay put and it's easier to draw them!

1) Dragon Knights

2) Eden's Trail

HUGGLE: Bunsen Burners and Explosive Chemicals!

Does this really need to be explained??

HUGGLE: Long johns and thermal underwear!

Warm...so very, very, very warm...

HUGGLE fingers.

Opposable thumbs are God's gift to us. Well, that and sugar.

HUGGLE elastic.

It stretches!! How cool is that?

HUGGLE velcro.

Now, this is something that is so very ingenius that here IS NO words for it. So just leave it as it is: Elementary, my dear Watson.

We chose to HUGGLE Dr. Seuss...

A cat in a cat is no longer considered a cat in a hat without his top hat.