Razor Bones Shredding

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Hello everyone, I’m back! Hooray and so on. Because I missed you guys muchly and because, for some reason, I have endless amounts of inspiration for this fic, I have started work on the second instalment. And I have plans for a third. Heeheehee. All I need now is a good overall title for all three. Hell, thinking up a title for this one wasn’t easy. Anyway, we’re gonna follow Ricki’s life as he starts a new school. Who’s this? Another pretty boy? How amazing(!) Unlike Rubbing Skin Raw, the quotes for this fic DO NOT make the plot, but they’re just there because they reflect the fic well. Or something.

I do own all these characters. If you want to borrow them for whatever possible reason (I can’t imagine any) you can, just credit me for them. This goes for poor dead Seritroe too. Pfh! As if you’d want them anyway.

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Warning: Egoistic angst, bullying and a severe lack of scholastic realism

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‘I need some time to disinfect, to purify what you have left. It’s all I ever claimed to be. You ripped and fell away from me’

Start with a strong and persistent desire- Vex Red

‘I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers/I don’t need to choose a side.’

Irresponsible Hate Anthem- Marilyn Manson

‘You bully me, you won’t beat me, I will be me again. It becomes a habit, a priority. Never will forget it’s inside of me. It makes me feel ugly.’

Bully Me- Vex Red

‘I’ve got a face that’s made for violence upon, and I’m a teen distortion, survived abortion, a rebel from the waist down.’

Disposable Teens- Marilyn Manson

‘From blocks away I heard somebody screaming, that small child inside of you that you left bleeding.’

Mr Chainsaw- Alkaline Trio

‘You saw how my heart was full of hurt, I held you to stop breaking down around me. I tried, I was weak, just close your eyes and speak. Feelings I keep, bury so deep, you fell from me.’

The Closet- Vex Red

‘I’ll be your lover, I’ll be forever/I’ll be tomorrow, I am anything when I’m high/ Don’t you want some of this? Don’t you need some of this?’

Dried up, tied and dead to the world- Marilyn Manson

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Chapter One

            School dragged on like a dead dog at the end of a madman’s leash for student Ricki Martinez. It was his fourth week in this new school, and he already hated it. Apart from the fact that he was now nineteen- a whole year older than the other students- his cold, apathetic demeanour and the way his deadened royal blue eyes looked past you when he looked at you singled him out as an unapproachable menace. In his whole almost-month here, the only student who had spoken to him at all was the one who had been designated to show him around on his first day. They all spoke about him of course.

           

            He sighed fatalistically as he ran his hand through his long, ear-length black hair. He had let it grow out a bit after the- incident. Appearance just wasn’t important to him anymore. He had taken a year out after (*that little bastard*) had taken his own life by falling backwards off the school roof, immediately after bringing Ricki’s entire world around him. His life at that school had been officially ended from that moment. He had dropped out and had quickly slipped into a deep depression, one that clawed into him and stuck with him like a tar overcoat for almost a year. He had gone through months of counselling, psychiatric help and anti-depressants and he had finally brought himself back from the suffocating misery that had seemed to fog his mind and kill his spirit for that whole time.

            He still had bad days, when he couldn’t get out of bed even to eat, but he was better than he had been.

            Apart from the length of his hair, nothing physical about Ricki had changed. It was his personality that had suffered the most dramatic change. Where before he had been a lively, talkative, sociable, popular guy, he was now quiet, withdrawn and had a tireless disinterest in everything. He noticed the averted interest in him by the other students. How they would talk furiously about him when they thought he wasn’t listening, how they stared at him, following his every move with gazes that burned with the intensity of their indifference. No one would come near him, yet he felt as if no one would leave him alone. They also thought that he must be stupid, having been held back a year and forced to redo. People treated him as if he was an idiot.

            So it was no surprise really that he hated school. Maybe even more than he hated himself.

*          *          *

            A circle of about five boys surrounded two battlers in the middle. They circled each other for the moment, yelling insults and cutting each other’s pride into ribbons with words like scissors.

            “You dumb, moronic beef-headed jock. Tristan, you’re so stupid you think the English Channel is available on cable.”

            “Yeah? Well at least I don’t get dressed in my sister’s closet.”

            “You’d rather I’d dress outta my mum’s closet like you do, dickhead.”

            “At least I gotta mum, faggot.”

            “Yeah, and she’s so ugly that when she lies down on the beach, cat’s try to bury her.”

            “You little fuck!”

            The bigger boy threw his weight at the other and the fight started for real. The surrounding crowd had appeared to multiply in the same way that an amoeba does, splitting itself until it became bigger. Most of the people there cheered for Tristan. Nobody liked the strange, freaky little boy Illkitt D‘marge, with his pathetic height of 5’4”, the face of a girl and weird hazel eyes. He never listened to anyone and openly flaunted the social structure of the school, scrawling things about the popular crowd on the walls of the toilets, male and female.

            The fact that he was openly gay didn’t make him any more popular. Neither did it make his life any easier.

            He was an outcast of society. He raised a middle finger to all the students, to the teachers, to the police, to the rules, to intolerance, to anyone and anything that tried to keep him down or force him to be who he wasn’t. Years of bullying and hate from all sides had skewed his perception of people and his basic attitude to everyone was now ‘fuck you’. He’d been betrayed by ‘friends’ and beaten up by people so many times, had been so heavily prejudiced against by his teachers and hated so much by his mum that she had left, that he had learnt to be constantly on the attack. He was a loner.  If you punch them in the face, kick them in the shins and then bite them on the arm before they do, they don’t bother you. If you become a bastard they don’t mess with you so much. If you swear and fight and don’t back down they don’t ignore you. If you fight them back, they don’t target you.

*          *          *

            If you isolate yourself, no one can get to you.

Ricki didn’t know if this was a good thing or not.

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Why is this coming out craply. Argh! It’s terrible! Sigh. Stay with me, hopefully it’ll get better.

You like the quotes and the new character so far? You like how Ricki’s turning out? Feeling sorry for him? Or do you still hate him because he killed Tro. (evil grin)

Until next time, review and you’ll get good karma.

Peace, love, empathy,

                ~DCJ