Can You Keep a Secret?

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A secret is something that only a few people know, and not told to others. I have kept secrets before, and I believe everybody has. I have told secrets before, and I believe that I would never do it again.

I was in primary school when I had a good friend named Erika. We were the best of friends – we were from the same class, and we liked to cycle in the evenings at the park. I met her there one evening, and we became quite close friends. In school, we would go for recess together, and we were the inseparable pair. We grew quite close to each other, and we would talk on the telephone every night, even though we met each other the next morning. We went to the shopping mall together, and help each other pick accessories, and we bought many matching accessories so we both had the same. And when we went out to play or window shop, we would wear them to let people know that we were very good friends.

We would exchange secrets, and one day, she told me she liked this boy, Allan from our class. Allan was a rather popular boy in our class, and anything that happened around him was rather publicised. We spent a whole day talking about him - how handsome he was and how cool his actions were. The way he brushed his hair away from his eyes made Rachel practically swoon. Rachel told me that she started liking him because he had helped her pick up her books when she tripped and fell. She had been enchanted by the small smile he gave her when she thanked him profusely for his help – the tiny curve at the edge of his lips mesmerised her. She made me promise not to tell anybody, and we hooked our little fingers together.

"You must promise that you wouldn’t tell anybody our my secret! I won’t be your friend if you tell someone!" Rachel stretched out her little finger.

"I promise! I want to be friends with you forever." I entwined my little finger around hers.

In our class, there was a girl named Rachel, who was not on good terms with Erika. They had an argument over their favourite pop stars – Erika thought Christina Aguilera was better than Britney Spears, and Rachel had stuck up for Britney, her idol. Both Erika and Rachel liked to bad mouth each other and the whole class knew they could not get along. But Rachel had become one of my good friends too. Erika had gone overseas for a period of time, and nobody cycled in the evening with me. Rachel had appeared, and we spent time together. Rachel was an extremely easy person to get along with, and I had lots to talk to her, although I would never understand why she could not get along with Erika. Rachel also had other best friends, and one of them was the most gossipy person in the class.

One day, I was playing the game ‘truth or dare’ with Rachel. I had chosen truth, and she asked me a question that I dreaded the most – who do I have a crush on? So, being the honest and truthful person I was, I told her. I made her promise not to tell anybody too. But a week after the game, Erika and Rachel had another argument, and Rachel held a grudge against Erika. I was at Rachel’s house the day after their argument, and she asked me a question.

"Who does Erika like?" She popped the question casually, and I was rather absorbed in the book I was reading at that time.

"Oh, its Alla- " I stopped short, remembering that I was supposed to keep it a secret! I had promised Erika. However, Rachel caught on. She guessed that it was Allan, and she threatened that she would tell the world who my secret crush was if I did not confirm that it was really Allan. She was blackmailing me, so reluctantly nodded my head weakly, and tried to tell her to keep it a secret. She promised to – but she had a hand behind her back, and I did not know for sure whether she had her fingers crossed.

It was a weekend, and I missed school on Monday because I had a doctor’s appointment. When I returned on Tuesday, I noticed straight away that Erika was angry with me. Also, my classmates often stopped whispering when Erika came near them. During recess, Erika confronted me in the emptied classroom.

"You broke our promise! You told Rachel my secret and she told her friends!" Erika pointed an accusing finger at me.

"I – It was an accident! I didn’t mean to!" I tried to defend myself, and I stuttered, knowing it was my fault in the first place.

"Allan knows, and he told the class he doesn’t like me! It’s your entire fault! I don’t want to be your friend! I hate you!" With that, Erika burst into tears and ran out of the classroom.

I was devastated. What had I done? I had broken my friend’s trust in me because I was not careful and did not regard the secret as important. I went to Rachel and she knew immediately why I was so angry with her. She brushed my accusations off, saying that I was the only who told her in the first place. She added in with a hint of sarcasm – if promises were meant to be broken, secrets were meant to be told.

The incident left a scar in my mind – I had lost two close friends at one go, all because I did not keep a secret. The guilt of telling the secret never refused to leave me, and I could only temporarily forget. I had learned something very important in life from that incident. Firstly, a secret was a very important thing simply because it was meant to be kept under wraps, and telling your friend’s secret was the worst way to lose a friend. The impact on my life was so great that I vowed that I would not tell a secret again – especially when it was not mine. I would be more careful about telling other people my secrets too – I must trust the person completely that she would not use it against me. The guilt and remorse that I felt after the incident was a constant reminder for me to be more careful, thoughtful of other people ‘s feelings and try to avoid such difficult situations again.

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I’m exactly NINETY-NINE words short of my Commonwealth essay classes’ word count! I’m going to be so the very dead if my teacher decides to make me rewrite the essay because I wrote only 1,101 words… I’m supposed to write 1,200 to 1,500 words. But hey, I can’t force it out.

Utada Hikaru’s Can You Keep A Secret? is great. But I haven’t found out what the Japanese lyrics mean.

Anyway, I think this composition is rubbish.

Ja ne!