Poems From My Landlady’s Guestbook

By Melinda Cadarette

Chew, chew, chew, you fed us quite a brew

Munch, munch, munch, it was the greatest lunch

Sup, sup, sup, we gobbled it all up

This meal was fine, as every time

I thank you for being so kind

Roses are red

Violets are blue

We played a game

And had a chew

There was pizza pie

And root of beer

We ate it all

Then you gave us a boot

I write tonight a commentary

On desserts made with blueberry

For as a rule I’m quite disgusted

For desserts with blueberry encrusted

But tonight dear friend my life has changed

My taste buds you sure did enlight

With that scrumptious blueberry delight

I sat a while to meditate

On experimental electroplate

I was so long that I was late

Yet my hunger you did satiate

And what my friend did you prepare

Was it fatted calf or roasted hare

Whatever it was I do not care

For it was a meal beyond compare

On coming home from Antigonish

You prepared for me a tasty dish

I’m sad to say I was one day late

Incredible! It still tasted great!

Every night for over a month

She smelled aroma of coffee

When she found out it was a skunk

We thought her brain was made of toffee

Your black arse buns was really good

You make the best of Newfie food

So when we leave your lovely home

Come back to Newfie for a room

There was a young man with a limp

Who dined on rice and curried shrimp

When asked if it was fine

He said “Simply divine”

And then ate till he was quite ill

Notes: These poems were written by an “O Henry”, a friend of my former landlady. He wrote it in her old guestbook hence the title of this work. Every word is exactly typed as it was written in the guestbook. Antigonish is a town in Nova Scotia. It is home of St. Francis Xavier University, one of the top-rated universities in Canada. Newfie is short for Newfoundland or anything related to Newfoundland, like the people or the food. I think he moved back- I have never seen him.

I received permission from my landlady to write these poems down before she threw her old guestbook away so I can keep them. Any comments about this work can be e-mailed at or at or you can simply go to the review box. Please note that I am not responsible for any errors in the poems as I am not the original author. Hope I didn’t make you too hungry before dinnertime!